I'll Never Hurt You, Never
by L345
Summary: "If it weren't for the baby." The line changed everything, but what would it change if Peeta weren't lying? Peeta and Katniss have one night together that changes everything for both of them, forever.
1. Things Just Happen

**I am starting when Katniss discovers that she will become a tribute in the Quarter Quell. She is drunk, and Peeta finds her some time during the night. I am progressing through the Games, but things will be different. This night changes everything.**

**I own nothing. The Hunger Games and all of its characters belong to Suzanne Collins.**

**I hope you like it! The idea has been rattling around since I read Catching Fire. Please tell me whatever you feel about it. I won't be offended. If you review mine, I'll review yours. :)**

Chapter 1

"Things Just Happen"

The cold, bitter wind cut through me like a knife. Everything is damp, and I can hear the steady falling of rain outside. I strain to see, but everything is pitch black. I reach my hand out and feel something cold and clammy to my right, and instantly know where I am. The cave. I am back in the Hunger Games. "No!" I try to yell out, but I cannot form words.

"You will never be safe, Katniss. You can never escape." President Snow's voice comes out of the darkness. I hear his voice, but most of all I smell the putrid smell of his flower, and blood. Suddenly, I am in my home in Victor's Village. It's warm and familiar. I no longer hear his voice, but it does not ease my mind at all. I look to my right, and President Snow is sitting, drinking tea quietly. I sit and watch, trying to stay calm. He cannot know how afraid I am. It will only give him power over me. I look down at my hands and see that they are trembling. He notices.

He begins to laugh softly, and then he begins to cackle getting louder and louder until my ear drums are banging. I try to get up from my seat, but I cannot move. I'm stuck, completely at his mercy. The too-fragrant rose begins to wilt and disintegrate; only filling my nose with its sickening smell. Blood begins to pour from his mouth, and then his eyes. I have to get away. I have to run! I struggle and scream, but nothing happens. I am hysterical now. I have to get out of this chair.

"Katniss, wake up." I frantically search, but see no one. "Katniss!" It's louder this time. I stop screaming and listen intently. "It's just a dream. Wake up." It's Peeta! Wait, Peeta? I open my eyes and catch sight of his face. "What are you doing here?" I ask. "It was just a dream. You're safe now." He leans a little closer to my face. "Katniss, have you been drinking?" I close my eyes and think for a moment. _Have I?_ I can't remember, and how does he know? I try to sit up, but can't. If only everything would just stop spinning. Oh, that's how he knows.

It all comes back to me at once. My wedding gowns, President Snow…the Quarter Quell, it all makes sense again. "Peeta, I'm scared." He pulls me to him without saying a word. He does not try to sway me. I know he is just as scared, and that's even more comforting. He knows exactly how I feel. Of course, he is handling the situation much better than I am, considering my drunken state. "You are such a good person, Peeta." He laughs. "So are you." I pull back to look at his face. "I'm not. I'm really not. I don't know how anyone can even stand me." I stop and focus my gaze on the wall behind Peeta's head. "That doesn't matter now, though. I'm going to be dead soon anyways."

"You're not. Don't you ever talk like that again! You will come out alive; I'll make sure of it." His voice takes on a different tone. Something about the way it vibrates in his chest made me feel…funny. I hadn't felt this way since we kissed in the cave. The cave. The moment came back to me and I collapsed in his arms once more. "I don't want to go back, Peeta. I can't stand the thought of it!" He rubbed my back gently and shushed me. "I won't leave you, Katniss. I won't leave you."

I pulled out of his arms and nodded. _Why am I acting like this?_ I never act so emotional…ever. I need to regain composure, but I realize that I can't. I am not being my normal self. All I can think about are Peeta's hands on my back and his lips...how strange. I have never thought of Peeta like this…ever really. I only pretended in the Games so the sponsors would send us things. Now, I need to feel his lips once more. I press mine tightly to his, expecting him to pull me away. I open my mouth a little, inviting things to go further, but he stops me. "Katniss, you're so drunk. I can't…you'll regret this in the morning and resent me." I shake my head and begin kissing his neck.

"Katniss, I…" My mouth moves to skin right below his ear. I smile. He's mine now. I mentally note my new finding, but I'm not sure if I'll remember in the morning. I'm so drunk. I move my lips back to his and continue where we left off. I bring my hands underneath his shirt and peel it from his body. His skin is so warm, but then again, everything seems warm right now. "I need you, Peeta. More than you could ever know." Peeta laughs and gently rolls me onto my back. "You really are drunk." He inches his hands slowly up my shirt. I assumed he would have stopped this by now, but the look in his eyes tells me that he has wanted this for a long time.

It doesn't take long for us to undress one another. His mouth moves over my body, and I feel nothing but pleasure. Soon, we become one body working together. It is like nothing I have ever felt before. When it's over, he cradles me in his arms. "I have loved you for years, Katniss. You don't even know how many times I have dreamt of you." His voice is so soothing. I feel like I am slipping into a large, dark hole. It's getting harder and harder to fight. "You just wanted to sleep with me." I laugh and yawn at the same time. "I would never hurt you. Never." He kisses my lips one last time, and I snuggle farther into his side. He kisses my temple and whispers, "Please don't regret this in the morning," against my hair. But I can say nothing back. I am too far gone.

**You should know, I'm a review whore. ;) The more reviews, the faster I update. Even if you don't like it, I want to know. **

**Should I continue? Let me know. Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Morning After

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! I will get to some of your fics as soon as I can. Promise :)**

**I'm glad you have all liked it so far. Let's continue with the morning after, shall we? Happy reading.**

Chapter 2

"The Morning After"

The sun has risen. It's morning. I can feel its warm rays enveloping my body as I lay silently. _Where am I?_ That's not a question I like to ever ask myself. But I truly did not know the answer. I opened my eyes to get my bearings and realized that I was in Peeta's bedroom. Peeta's bedroom? _Why am I here?_

I pull the covers away from my body and realize that I am naked. The magnitude of this event hits me like a ton of bricks. I can't remember much of anything. Just the Second Quarter Quell, my name in the Reaping, the liquor…and oh the liquor. I feel it sloshing around in my stomach as I try to maneuver myself out of Peeta's bed. I needed to get out of here fast. I put my feet on the floor and begin searching for my clothes. I have no idea where to even look. I need to get out before Peeta comes up and sees me. This cannot be happening.

_Maybe we didn't do anything. Maybe he…took care of me or something. I did have quite a bit to drink._ I try to calm myself about the situation, but it really isn't working.I move to the opposite side of the room, and then it hits me in a flash. We had sex. The memory brings on a full wave of nausea. I get to the toilet as best I can and release the contents of my stomach into the cold porcelain. I am disgusted with myself. Suddenly, something warm envelopes my body. I react, jumping backwards away from it and hit my head on the cabinet to my left. I lean against it holding my head in my hands. "Katniss, are you ok?" I hear Peeta's voice above me. "My luck," I mutter underneath my breath.

He tucks the warm blanket around my body. "How are you feeling?" I detect a tiny hint of humor in his voice. He's very chipper, and I know why. My stomach lurches once more. What a situation to be in. "I'm fine." Peeta's face drops slightly. I know he knows what I'm thinking. I should have hidden my feelings a little better. Or maybe he just knows me so well. I'm not sure, but I don't have time to ponder it just yet. "Where are my clothes?" He turns from me. "I put them on the end of the bed so you would see them when you woke up."

"I must have missed them." He runs his fingers through his blonde hair and walks to the bed. My eyes follow his every move. I have hurt him. _I can't do anything right._ He turns back to me and places the folded articles on the counter. "You should probably take a shower. You don't want your mother to see you like this." I detect a little humor in his voice, so I laugh. "I wish even you couldn't see me like this right now." I laugh a little, but realize Peeta did not think it was so funny. He turns from the bathroom and stops in the doorway. "Breakfast will be waiting whenever you're done. I made your favorite." I let my eyes meet his. "Thank you, Peeta. That's very nice of you."

He turns and heads downstairs. I listen intently. My heart begins to ache along with my head. _I never wanted to hurt Peeta._ I shake my head in the hopes that I could forget about it long enough to clean myself up. I wrap the blanket tighter around my body and labor to my feet. Everything seems to be tilted just slightly. It's very annoying. I catch sight of myself in the mirror and instantly know why Peeta suggested I bathe. I stare into my reflection for a few minutes. My gray Seam eyes stare back at me unchanged as always. _What will this do to me?_ I'm really not sure. I drop the blanket and look at my naked body. I feel disgusted with myself. I can't decide if it's because I got so drunk, or because I got drunk and let someone have sex with me, or because that someone was Peeta. I can't decide that yet either. I'll add that to the growing "decipher later" pile.

I turn from the mirror and step into the shower. I realize that I am in Peeta's shower. My stomach flips. This situation is crazy. I turn on the water and let it run over my body. I should have never drank with Haymitch. It numbed the pain, but really only gave me more to worry about today. I'm still going back into the arena, I will have to die to keep Peeta alive, and now I have to worry about what this might do to my relationship with Peeta. Everything seems to be building inside of me. I feel bile welling up in my throat and begin puking once more. It is only liquor, but the smell is repulsive. I quickly grab the soap and wash my hair. I need something to cover the scent.

I run the soap over my body and think about Peeta's hands doing the same thing last night, his mouth roaming over my neck and breasts and thighs. I can't discern exactly how I feel about that yet. I remember liking it as it happened, but I was so drunk. Really my judgment is still impaired. _I need to stop thinking. _I wash my body almost mechanically to keep my mind off of everything. I will have to continue my day like this in order to keep my emotions at bay. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. _It's going to be ok. I can do this. _I turn off the water and reach for a towel from the rack above Peeta's toilet. I dry off and wrap my hair in the towel.

The shower instantly made the world seem a little easier to face. I dress in my clothes and let my hair fall around my shoulders. It's time to face the day. I walk downstairs to the kitchen and find Peeta near the oven. "What are you doing?" He turns with a smile and hands me a plate with a cheese bun on it. "You didn't have to do that." He set the plate down on the counter and grabbed another bun from the pan for himself. "I know, but I figured you would need something solid to put on your stomach this morning. The bread will help soak up the alcohol." I did love cheese buns, especially fresh cheese buns. I began to eat, hoping he would start some sort of conversation. I knew he was masking his pain.

"Did the shower help at all?" I made sure to look right at him. I didn't need him angry with me. I couldn't handle it. We needed each other…for the Quarter Quell of course. "It really did. You've been so nice to me. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was running into your kitchen last night." He looked a little hurt. I realize he probably wanted me to run to him for comfort. I should have thought of him last night anyways. I knew that he would be going back in the arena as well, but didn't even think to come and comfort him. I can't do anything right. "Need anything to drink?" "Water would be nice, thanks." He got a glass and set it before me. "Do you want to talk about it? Any of it?" I stopped shoving the warm bread into my mouth for a moment. Did he mean the Games, or the drinking, or the sex? "No, not right now," I replied honestly. He shook his head. "Well, I just need to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, to us again." Ok, he's talking about the Games. "I'm also sorry about last night. I protest nearly as hard as I should have. I didn't want you to feel how you obviously feel this morning. But that's all I regret. I love you and you know that. I have wanted last night for so long, but I didn't want it like this. I wanted you to wake up feeling like I did this morning. You were drunk, and I was weak. That's all I wanted to say about it. It needed to be said."

_I don't want to talk about it._ I just nodded my head, even though I wanted to ask him why he even asked if I wanted to talk about it if he was going to anyways. I feel a little angry, but try to push it aside. We cannot be mad at each other. We have to be a team. "Katniss, I won't talk about it anymore. We can forget about it. We have to start training for the Games, like the tributes from 2. We will work every day. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Everything is so confusing. I can't process it all. The cheese bun stops tasting as good, and I just want to go home. I move away from the counter and smile as best I can at Peeta. "We will train. I'm in." Peeta nods. "I'll come get you when we're ready. We need to start as soon as possible."

I nod once more and turn to leave. "Wait, I put some extra buns in the oven for you to take home with you. Let me get them." He handed me a towel full of cheese buns and I turned to leave. "Thanks Peeta," I said quietly and shut the door before I could hear anything else. The sun felt incredibly bright, and I vowed to never drink again. No, this would be a whole new beginning. Peeta was willing to put last night aside, and we would start training. That would take my mind off of it. It definitely would. Maybe, just maybe, I can handle everything.

**I think I slowed it down a little more in this one. What do you all think? Am I headed in the right direction, or is there something you don't like? Criticism and compliments welcome.**

**And to everyone who is disappointed that she regrets it in the morning, I am sorry. There was no other way.**


	3. Reality

**Thank you so so much for all of the reviews! I'm glad to see that people actually like what I'm writing. It definitely makes me want to write more. And I'm not fishing for reviews here, I'm just really excited. And I don't know if anyone caught the "buns in the oven" joke from the last chapter, but I couldn't resist. Buns and pregnancy and the baker…oh well, I'm lame and couldn't resist. :)**

**This chapter is going to be a little harder to write. I had to really focus in on my inner-Katniss in this one. And updates are pretty quick right now, but classes start back soon and life is calling, so they may not be as fast in a couple of days, but I promise that I will use every free second to try to write. I'm pretty excited about where this is going myself.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you like it. Happy reading!**

Chapter 3

"Reality"

Today would be a beautiful day, if only I could look anywhere but down at the ground. Any time I look up or even at eye-level, the sun makes me so nauseous I can't stand it. _Being hung-over sucks._ I look up at my house and realize that I don't want to go inside. I don't want my mother and Prim to know how I handled the news. I'm supposed to be the one who always holds it together. That obviously didn't happen.

I look around Victor's Village. There is only one place besides Peeta's, and I'm not going there. My eyes drift over to Haymitch's, but I can't bear to look at him right now. Not after…last night. He will know about me and Peeta and the teasing will never cease. Then I won't be able to forget, just like Peeta said we could. "If only we could," I say aloud. Deep down, I know that there is no way to forget something like this, but I push that little thought aside. It only makes me more nauseous to think such thoughts.

I try to erase the horrible thoughts spinning around my aching head. I need to go somewhere and calm down. I could go back to my old house, my place of solace. I want to so badly, but I know that I can't. Prim and my mother must be so worried about me. _Of course they're worried! I'm being forced back into the arena. They don't want to have to watch that once more. I am so selfish._

I set my shoulders back and walk into my home. My mother and Prim are in the kitchen, clearly waiting on me. My mother takes one look at me and knows. I feel so ashamed. My drinking spree is not exactly something I'm proud of. _Just as long as she doesn't know about Peeta, I'll be fine. _My mother rises from her chair and places her arms around me. My mother and Prim exchange glances. No words are spoken, but somehow Prim knows exactly what my mother wants her to do. I, of course, haven't a clue. I don't ask. My head is beginning to pound. I just want to lie down.

My mother leads me to my room and sits me at the foot of my bed. "You should take those clothes off. They're a little dirty." I nod, thankful that she is keeping her voice down. I wonder if she had ever been drunk, or maybe my father. It seems like she knows exactly how I feel. I don't remember liquor ever being in the house, though. We were too poor, but maybe my mother drank once or twice when she was young. Being from the merchant class, they might have had the money. She snaps me from my thoughts as she hands me a set of clean, comfortable pajamas. "Put these on." I allow myself to be cared for. It makes me feel like a kid again, something I haven't felt since my father died.

She leaves the room and I undress silently. The clothes make me feel better. I place my hand on my forehead, wishing that the pounding would stop. It's making my stomach feel like it is boiling. My mom enters once more and brushes the tangles from my hair. I hadn't done anything to it after my shower, and it is miserably tangled. Once my hair is tangle free, she places a kiss on my temple and eases me onto my pillows. I close my eyes and will myself to stop thinking about the lump that is continuing to rise within my throat. Someone enters, but I don't even have to open my eyes to know that it is Prim. Her feet have always made a quiet, sweet little shuffle as she walks. It reminds me of a butterfly. "Katniss, I brought you some tea. You should try to drink it. It will make you feel better." I didn't move, but she didn't seem to mind. She placed a cool rag on my forehead and left the room. I want to say something, but even opening my mouth hurts. I lay as still as possible and drifted into a deep sleep.

When I open my eyes, I felt a little better, but not much. I feel like I have been poisoned. I eased my body back into a sitting position. I notice the cup of tea sitting beside my bed. I grab it and begin sipping slowly. It is cold now, but still tasted good. The now-cool liquid eases the ache in my throat. All of the vomiting made it feel like it was coated in a thick layer of dust. I sip slowly, but feel whatever is in it taking hold of my body. It feels good. _I wish I would have drunk this earlier._

My mother opens the door a crack and sees that I'm awake. She moves to the bed and gives me a soft smile. I smile back. I need to hold myself together. I know that she is upset. Prim walks in with a plate of toast. I was not prepared to see them both just yet. I open my mouth to make a joke, make light of the situation. But my throat catches and hot tears start to fill my eyes. I can't control myself today either. My mother wraps her arms around me and Prim crawls right up next to me. They both hold me and make shushing sounds, and I just cry until I can cry no more. I lay in my mothers arms and realize that I am shivering. Prim leaves and returns with more blankets. They cover me up and lay me back onto the pillows. Sleep is taking hold again, and I embrace it.

The late afternoon sun peeps through my window, reminding me that I have done nothing at all today. But in truth, this is one of the last times I will ever get to sleep in this bed. I deserve this day of indulgence, whether I spent it hung-over or not. I realize that I do feel considerably better now, and creep out from under the covers. I move slowly, as if the hangover is something that I can wake up. I go downstairs and find my mother sitting alone. She embraces me, but we are more composed this time. I sink into a chair across from her and she gets me a bowl of broth. It sits well, and I am thankful.

I didn't realize I was so hungry. She hands me one of Peeta's cheese buns. It is delicious soaked in broth. Just as I am about to finish my last two spoonfuls, someone knocks on the door. My mother and I lock eyes. She doesn't have to speak. I know she is afraid of who is behind the door, as am I. _Please don't let it be reporters yet. I can't deal with them yet. I can't even stay composed in front of my mother and Prim. Please not them. Not yet. _

She walks slowly to the door and I stand, unsure of whom it could be. She opens the door slowly. "It's only Haymitch," she says with noticeable relief. "What are you doing here?" I ask. He is obviously drunk, but that's no surprise. "He stole all my liquor!" Peeta emerges from behind the door and shakes his head calmly. "I took it for your own good. You need to sober up. We can't have anyone without a clear head. We just can't. Other districts have plenty of victors to offer up, many who are still young and able to compete. But we are the only ones. We need you in top condition to mentor us."

Haymitch laughs. "I'll just get more." I watch Peeta's face take on a defiant look. "You won't. I talked to Ripper and gave her specific instructions not to." Haymitch began to laugh even harder. "And what makes you think Ripper won't just give it to me anyways? We are pals." "Because I threatened to turn her in, and I don't think she wants to ever end up in the Peacekeeper's custody again." Haymitch shut his mouth instantly. "Two of us are coming home, one mentor and one victor. We will start training in the morning. Effie is also sending tapes of all of the potential victors we may face. This is serious." He looks straight at me and I feel myself start to squirm. I stare at the floor. I know that he is right. "I'll be over tomorrow morning. Be ready." I don't look up; only nod my head in compliance. They leave and I head back upstairs to my room. I need to be rested in the morning. _It is the only way I'll survive._ I crawl back into bed and snuggle under the covers with the hope that I can get through whatever the future may bring.

**Hope you enjoyed it :) Tell me what you think, good, bad, or ugly. I welcome all criticism and compliments. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Preparation is Key

**On to chapter four! As always, thanks for reviewing and happy reading!**

Chapter Four

"Preparation is Key"

I rolled my head from underneath my pillow and saw the morning rays drifting into my room. A tree outside is shaking slightly in the wind, making the beams dance across my bedroom wall as if they are mocking me, laughing that I have to actually start my day. I groan and place my head back under my pillow. _This is not real. It's just another wacked out dream you're having. _The morning came much quicker than I would have liked. My bed is so warm, and who knows how many times I will ever get to be in a warm bed again. Oh wait, none after the Games. _Ha, silly me for thinking there is actually going to be a time after the Games. Snow will make sure I'm dead, no doubt about it._

Knowing that I have no chance doesn't truly motivate me to get out of bed, however the thought of Peeta and Haymitch does. I have to protect Peeta. Even if training will not keep me alive, I need to at least train to protect Peeta. I climb out of bed, reassuring myself that I will eventually feel more like a person. I head straight for the bathroom, even though it's pointless to shower before training. I just need to wake up.

I strip out of my pajamas, leaving them in a pool beneath me. I catch sight of something strange in the mirror and move closer to see what it is. There is a dark spot on my neck. I'm instantly mortified. A surge of hate runs through my body, for me and Peeta. _How did I not see that yesterday?_ My mother had to have seen. A deep blush takes over my face. I really don't feel like facing the day now. I want nothing more than to crawl back under the covers, but instead I climb into the shower, because there is nothing I can do about any of it now. I can only hope that my hair will cover it, and Haymitch won't see it.

The shower does help. I feel more alert. I dress quickly and head downstairs to grab something for breakfast. I realize that I have absolutely no idea when Peeta plans on starting our first training session, and I definitely don't want to be the one keeping everyone behind. When I get downstairs, I realize that the sun isn't even up completely. _Leave it to me to wake-up hours before anyone even hits the floor, much less begins training._

I heat up some broth and a grab a cheese bun for breakfast. I start planning what I will do while I wait for Peeta and Haymitch, but none of that is even necessary. Peeta begins knocking on my door before I even finish my broth. I go to the door and find him dressed, obviously alert and ready to work. I want to groan, but suppress it as best as I can. _Keep up a good relationship with him. You need him_. "Hello. You look…awake." He laughs and shakes his head. "Thanks, I guess. You look like you are out of bed at least." I shrug. "You know it looks that way, but mentally, I'm still under the covers." "That will all change in about ten minutes. Haymitch is on his way over now."

I motion for Peeta to follow me inside while I clean up my breakfast. "Are you sure he is awake?" I watch as Peeta grabs a cheese bun and nods. "Dressed and ready, I made sure of it" He points to the cheese bun. "You don't mind do you?" "I don't know. I am pretty protective of my cheese buns, Peeta." He laughs and took a huge bite. "Well you know where to find me if you ever need more."

Haymitch walks in and I feel a little bit disheartened for some reason. Maybe because I am realizing that Peeta and I can actually have a conversation after the other night. "Good morning," I chirp as happily as I can muster given the circumstances. "When's the last time you saw a morning?" He grunted and shook his head. "Couldn't tell you; now let's get this over with." He turns and leaves, grumbling underneath his breath. Peeta and I laugh and follow him out.

The morning is quite beautiful. It reminds me of all of the mornings I would venture in the woods and hunt, absorbing all of the solitude around me. If only I could have that back, even for a morning. The Capitol has stolen that from me, too. Peeta begins to stretch, making it obvious that we should follow his lead. I use my previous thoughts to motivate me through the tedious process. I do feel better, though. Stretching seems so inefficient, but already my body feels ten times better. "We're going to start off kind of easy today, but we will soon turn ourselves into machines. We need to act like Careers if we want to make it out. Preparation is key." I nod. He is right.

Peeta takes off running and Haymitch and I join in. It's not long before Haymitch stops. We coax him into continuing, and I remind him quietly of our deal to bring Peeta home. He sets off once more. We spend the morning running and lifting flour sacks, which are surprisingly heavy. No wonder Peeta is built like he is. Every so often I catch him looking at me and can't seem to figure out why. I know that I stare at him sometimes while we are training, but honestly that's where I find my motivation. I know that I have to keep running, or keep pushing myself because I need to be able to fight long enough to make sure that he comes home. Maybe he is thinking the same thing. I know that he plans on me coming home the victor, but he is mistaken.

The afternoon is a little different. After lunch, we begin working on things like combat skills, fighting hand to hand, and throwing knives. Haymitch proves to be remarkably strong, but his hands shake so much that he can't even dream of hitting a target with a weapon. I wonder how long it's been since he's been sober. _Probably since he won._

We continue every day like this. Building ourselves mentally and physically for what is to come for the next month and a half without a problem. We wake every morning and work until dark. It gives us something to do, and helps me take my mind off of the fact that I will be dead soon. My mother puts us on a special diet to gain weight, Prim treats our aching bodies, and even Gale helps out by contributing his extensive knowledge of snares and traps. It is weird having a conversation that includes both Peeta and Gale, but Peeta is so driven that I'm not even sure he lets it affect him. We work tirelessly. Peeta and I continue to act like nothing has happened, which is a relief.

We begin watching the tapes from Hunger Games past, and take extensive notes. Haymitch gives us detail after detail about each victor. I notice that they all seem to form a network, a network that we were not introduced into. Haymitch says that Snow would never let us near the other victors for fear that it would only help the rebellion. Victors have always held a special status within their districts, and if the people within the Districts feel like we are close to their victors, they might feel like they need to be part of our cause, the rebellion I unknowingly created.

The Games grew closer with every single day, but we did not let it affect us. No, we built our bodies and minds and became completely focused, so focused that it hit me like a stone wall when the hitch in our plan surfaced. There was no way to see it coming, but when it did, it threw the little training world we had created into a downward spiral.

**:) Yes, you all know what is coming next. But doesn't it still make your heart race in anticipation. I'm writing it and it even makes mine have slight palpitations. I know it is a tiny bit cruel, but I can't get right to the good stuff just yet. If it helps, I promise to have the fifth chapter up as soon as possible. I just have to work it all out in my head first.**

**But review and let me know exactly what you think. Criticism helps and compliments motivate. :) Thanks for reading!**


	5. We Love You So Much, Katniss

**I would just like to point out that I was up all night trying to sort out how to write this chapter. Once something creative starts stirring around inside of me, I can't stop. Good for you, bad for the dark circles around my eyes. :) **

**I would like to first point out that I couldn't fit everyone finding out into this chapter, it didn't feel right. But here is the next chapter. Happy reading!**

Chapter 5

"We Love You So Much, Katniss"

It started in the mornings. I began getting sick. I kept it a secret, thinking it was only my body adjusting to the new diet mixed with the rigorous work out schedule. My mother saw it differently. One morning in particular, it hit me before I even woke up. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could, relieving my body of what little I had in it. I knocked a small table over in my mad dash to the toilet, rousing my mother from her sleep. I heard her behind me, but couldn't look up. This morning was the worst. It actually felt like my stomach was turning inside out and moving into my esophagus. I heard my mother running water behind me, but I never looked up. She placed a cool rag on the back of my neck.

Once I felt like I could at least stand, I pulled myself up onto the counter and began washing my mouth out. I looked at my mother's reflection in the mirror and she looked as if she were counting on her fingers. Everything seemed to be spinning a little, so I wasn't sure. I sat down on the toilet and felt completely exhausted. Puking like that was really taking a toll on my body. It was obviously getting worse. I should have said something to my mother earlier, but I didn't want to worry her.

"Is this the first morning that this has happened, Katniss? I need you to be honest with me." I looked at her strangely. Her voice had a weird tone to it. It sounded so urgent and stern, but worst of all…afraid. "No. It's happened for about five or six mornings. I should have mentioned it sooner I know, but I didn't want you to worry. I thought maybe my body was reacting to the diet, but it's getting worse. Yesterday, I was nauseous all day. She closed her eyes slowly and exhaled deeply. I began to worry. What could possibly be making her react this way?

She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me gently. "What is it? Is everything ok?" I pulled out of her embrace and looked right into her eyes; searching for the answer she was so reluctant to give me. "Katniss, we both know that you have not been a child for a long time, and I do no treat you that way. I don't ask questions about what you do, but this time I need to know if…if you have been with Peeta or Gale recently." I continue to search her eyes. This is so confusing. "Of course, I saw Peeta yesterday and Gale helped us learn to set snares two days ago. You know I've been train…" She moved to a kneeling position in front of me and cut me off mid-sentence. Her hands moved to either side of my face. "I don't mean like that."

I knew exactly what she meant now. My face turned ten shades of red. How could the two be related? I feel myself getting more nauseous. All I can do is shake my head, confirming whatever it was that she was afraid of. "About six weeks ago." A look of defeat crosses her features. "That sounds about right." _What sounds about right! _My mind is racing; my heart feels like it is going to beat right out of my chest. "Katniss, I think that you are pregnant."

She delivers the message just as she would to any other patient from the village. I'm stunned. Peeta and I…having a baby. I start to laugh. _This can't be real. I must be dreaming. Of course, I'm dreaming. That has to be it because we still have to go into the arena soon…and…and…_ The bile rises in my throat again, but this time I can't make it go away. I begin puking once more and my mother just rubs my back. _This is real, and it's happening._ I turn to her frantically. "I can't do this. I can't. There has to be something we can do." She shakes her head and moves a strand of hair away from my face. "How am I going to tell Peeta?" Her face changes for just a moment, but I know what she is thinking. She is wondering who the father is, naturally. _I'm so awful._

"When I found out about having to…to go back, I started drinking with Haymitch. Then I ended up at Peeta's and we…we…" I dropped into her lap sobbing. "I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen." She stroked my hair and shushed me, rocking me as if I were just a baby myself. "Don't apologize. It's going to be ok." I rose up to look at her. _When did she become the strong one?_ I can't stop crying. My breath is catching in my throat. She wets the rag and wrings it out once more. She begins to rub it gently against my face. "We can get through this."

I want so badly to believe her, I really do. But I am going to be thrown into a death match in a mere number of weeks. My mother will lose me and her grandchild now. And Peeta will lose his child. _Oh, I have made everything so much worse now. _"Come on." She helps me out of the bathroom floor and back into my bed. When I rise I notice that Prim is standing in the door frame watching intensely. She must know. I try not to look at her. I am too ashamed of myself.

Once I am in bed, my mother kisses my forehead gently. "I'll tell Peeta that you aren't feeling well today. He will understand. You can tell him whenever you're ready. Try to rest." I shake my head. I have never been so grateful for my mother in my whole life. I turn over on my side and hug my knees to my chest. Prim curls right up against my back and begins moving the hair out of my face. "Oh, Katniss." I hear her throat catch a little on my name. _Look at what I'm doing to everyone!_

She kisses the top of my head and then wraps her arm around me. "It's going to be ok. We will make sure of it. We love you so much, Katniss." I know that she means it. I have always known that they loved me, but something about hearing it right now makes me overcome with sadness. The fact that I will be taken from them in such a short time hurts me so deeply. I can add my unborn child to the list of people I have killed.

_I can't be a mother. I have killed so many people. I can't be like Prim or my mother._ Maybe it's a good thing that we will both die in the arena. I won't live to screw up my poor child's life and it won't live to be shipped off to compete in the Hunger Games. Because if things were to continue at this rate, President Snow would see to it personally that my child is placed in the arena the very year he/she became eligible. _But Peeta…he would make such a wonderful father._ A new round of fresh tears begins to pour at the thought. Will he recover from the death of his child? Will this make him even more willing to die for me? Will this affect how we fight in the Games? I'm starting to get a headache as so many questions begin to circulate through my brain. It's all too much to take in, it really is.

Somehow I drift off, but it is into a miserable nightmare as always. I'm in the arena, but my belly is so swollen that it's hard to move. Something is after me, I can't see what, but I know that I must run. I am trying to get away, but I can't. The first pain seizes control of my body, and before I know it I am on the ground. The baby is coming! I grab my stomach. "No, not now. It's not safe here." I scream helplessly. The thing gets closer and closer, I hear its footsteps behind me. I close my eyes, knowing that I will be slaughtered, but nothing happens. A cool rag is on my forehead and before I know it, I'm waking up.

Prim is sitting next to me. "Katniss you were screaming." I just nodded my head. _I never got to see what was after me._ I turn over onto my back and close my eyes. Prim moves the rag around my face. It helps immensely. "How long did I sleep?" She smiles sweetly. "About three hours. You needed to rest." I nodded once more. I wasn't very good company at the moment, yet I knew that she wouldn't leave.

My mother comes in and brings me a small bowl of stew. I don't look to see anything about it. I just eat what I can. "You don't have to eat it all. I could hardly eat the whole time I was pregnant with you." Something about that makes everything spin. _It makes it real._ I don't know what else to do. I don't want to talk to them about my fears, and I most certainly don't want to talk to them about the Games. So I just give them a smile, kiss them both on the cheek, and pretend to go to sleep. My mother and Prim leave to eat dinner. When I know they are downstairs, I begin to cry. I cry so hard it makes the back of my eyes throb.

"I never wanted this! It was never supposed to be like this!" I whisper raggedly. My head begins to pound and my stomach threatens to empty itself once more. I close my eyes and will myself to sleep. I can't stand this feeling. I drift off feeling sick, defeated, confused, and lonely.

**There you go: Prim and their mother down, Peeta, Haymitch, Gale, and the entire population of Panem to go. :) I'm excited. I hope that you liked it. I figured that given the chance, Mrs. Everdeen would truly stand up and be strong for Katniss. She could do it so easily when others were hurt; it made logical sense that she would do the same for her baby girl in her time of need. No matter how damaged, I always believed that she really held a deep love for Katniss. Maybe you agree, maybe you disagree. Regardless review and let me know please! The next few chapters will be a little tricky, so I would really like to know exactly what you think about them. As always, compliments and criticisms welcome. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Back to Miserable Square One

**On to Peeta…Happy reading!**

Chapter 6

"Back to Miserable Square One"

Morning hits like a sledgehammer. Sometime in the night my mother made me drink tea with some kind of herb to help me sleep and ease the nausea. It helped, but nothing could help this. My throat felt so swollen, I really didn't know if I could even talk if I tried. Between the vomiting and the crying, it has definitely been through some trauma. But I have to train today. Peeta will become incredibly worried if I miss two consecutive training sessions. I already heard him questioning my mother last night about my condition, but she revealed nothing. "Just a little under the weather." That's all I heard from her. But, I was so dead to the world after her special tea that I wouldn't have cared if she did tell him. I'm glad that she didn't. I'll know when I'm ready.

Another cup of tea with a note is sitting beside my bed when I wake up. It reads, "Drink this for nausea. You won't be sleepy. Everything is going to be ok." One tear slips out as I read this. I pick up the cup and sip it slowly. My throat is pretty bad. It hurts to swallow. I finish my tea and make myself get out of bed. I know that I will sleep again all day if I even so much as touch the pillows. I take a quick shower and dress in comfortable clothing. I wander downstairs in a daze. No one is in the house that I can tell. I don't think too much about it and go outside. Peeta and Haymitch are already stretching. They both stop and look at me.

Haymitch lets out a low whistle. "You _do_ look good this morning, Kat. What a sight for sore eyes." He begins to laugh, the first genuine smile that has graced his lips since we started training. _It would be at my expense._ I roll my eyes and half-whisper. "Shut up." I look over at Peeta and immediately notice how concerned he is."Katniss, are you ok?" I stop, hoping that I am revealing nothing with my actions. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep too well. I feel better, though." I tried to put on my best smile. _I'm a horrible liar. Please don't let them know or ask too many questions._ I wasn't completely lying though. In truth, the tea did make me feel a little better. They drop it, but I can tell that neither is satisfied. Peeta resumes stretching, but never takes his eyes off of me. He is definitely trying to figure me out.

I stretch with no problems, but I'm only half of a mile into the run before I start retching once more. My throat feels like it's on fire. I need something to drink. Peeta is next to me in mere seconds. "Katniss, are you ok? Let me help you inside. You don't look so good." I push him away. "I'm fine. I'll go inside for a minute. My mother's medicine wore off, that's all." I stand and start towards my house, Peeta follows. I spin around on my heel. "Peeta, I'm fine. I can walk." He looks wounded, but I know that I will tell him if he follows me into the house. I'm just not ready.

I go in and sink into a chair for a moment. _Maybe I can just not tell him. Yeah, that could work. Either he dies and I go on to have the baby and he never knows or I die and he never knows. _That's the first time that thought has crossed my mind. Not a bad idea. I get up from the chair with a sunnier outlook on things until I catch my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are glazy and have dark rings underneath them. My lips are also a ghastly shade of white. _No wonder they were so freaked out. I look miserable._ I lift my shirt and turn sideways. There is no way to tell that I am pregnant physically, but I assume that happens sometime soon. Oh…there's my hitch with not telling Peeta. What if I show? That is two months away. _I'll almost be four months by then. Surely you can tell by four months. _My heart sinks. Back to miserable square one again.

I stare intensely at my stomach. I know nothing about babies or being pregnant, absolutely nothing. _And this poor child will have me as a mother if I make it out. _Although I know I-we won't, not if Peeta makes it out. I place my hand on my stomach, not really knowing where it would be exactly. I haven't had a chance to sort out my feelings about the whole thing just yet. I don't expect to come to a conclusion today, but in all honestly I feel sad for it. I hate myself for bringing a child into this cruel world…or conceiving a child only to have us both killed. It's not its fault. I feel no love towards it, only fear and guilt and dread. I feel tears welling up into my eyes and turn away from the mirror quickly. _This is awful._

I move to the kitchen and get a glass of water. There is still no sign of Prim and my mother and I don't know how to make the tea. I sip the water slowly and go back outside. It still doesn't feel right, but I push through the morning run and only throw up once more. Peeta is definitely not thrilled with me sticking out training, but he knows that I won't listen. I get through everything for the day and feel physically spent. Peeta comes over and walks me to my house. "After dinner we are watching more tapes. See you in an hour if you feel up to it." I nodded and walked in the house. The only thing that I want to do is lay down. Everything hurt so badly. _I need to go. I have to pretend like I'm not that sick. He can't ask questions. He can't know. _

I eat a quick dinner; Prim and my mother are back so they pump me full of medicines. Then I shower, and head to Peeta's. I let myself in and sit down next to him on the couch. "Where's Haymitch?" "I don't know. He's seen most of them anyways. Want to start without him?" I shrug. Peeta hands me a pillow and I adjust it behind my back. "You really don't look so good. Are you sure you're ok?" I nod, but avoid eye contact. _I can't crack. I can't tell him yet. _We start a tape, but sitting next to him gets to be too much. I'm so afraid to tell him, but feel such a need to. _The sooner I tell him, the more time he has to deal with it before the Games. _I would be devastated if he was too preoccupied to fight properly. Finally, I decide to tell him. There will never be a good opportunity to break such news.

"Peeta," I squeak out. My voice sounds so weird. I hope he heard me. There is no way that I could find the courage to say it again. He finishes scratching some notes and then looks at me. "I need to tell you something…why I'm really sick." He puts down his pencil and notepad. I think he can tell that something big is happening, but maybe I'm just nervous. "Peeta, I'm not going to sugarcoat this because there really is no way to, so I'm just going to say it." I sighed, my delivery sucked. I never claimed to be a speechmaker, but I should have rehearsed such big news a little. I took a deep breath, but the oxygen never seemed to make it into my lungs. "I'm pregnant."

Even in the dim light of his living room I can see the color drain from his face. He has no expression at all on his face. "Are-are you serious?" I nod. "My mom is the one who pieced it together. I've been getting sick for the past week, and then the other morning she just kind of…added it all up." He hasn't moved at all. In a way, I guess I was expecting him to embrace me, comfort me, but he doesn't move at all. "Are you sure?" I squint my eyes in confusion. "Yes, my mom _would _know."

"Yeah, yeah you're right. Wow, this is huge. I don't even know what to do with this. It changes…everything." I notice that he's shaking a little. "We are going to be parents. I'm going to be a father."

He stops. It's hit him. He's remembered that we would _both _be parents to this baby only in a fairytale land. It's me or no one. His face changes to immediate fear and then grief. "Katniss, I-I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I should have protested more." I shake my head and scoot a little closer. "It was my fault. I was so selfish and turned straight to booze to comfort me." He began cradling his head in his hands. "Look at what I did." I'm confused now. "You did what any man would have done. I was all over you." He popped his head to look me right in the eyes. I wasn't expecting such a quick movement. I gasp and jump a little.

"No, can't you see? You thought I handled everything so well but really I made everything worse. I was so upset that we were going back into the arena, the thought that I might lose you, that I sought comfort in you. I needed you to hold me. Just hold me, that's it. Then you started kissing me and I couldn't stop it. Loving you that night is exactly what I needed, and I'm sorry. I used you like you used the liquor." I knew there was nothing that I could say to keep him from regretting that night. He couldn't see that it was all me. I move my arms around him and we hold each other. We cry together. We cry from sorrow, from fear, from regret, and in mourning for the life we might have had, or our child's pitiful life to come. We have really messed up this time.

When we have cried ourselves out, Peeta moves his hand under my shirt and places it on my abdomen. I can't say or do anything. _It's such a shame that Peeta got __**me**__ pregnant._ _He could be such a good father._ I lay my head on his shoulder and we don't move. I know this because when I wake up the next morning, we are in the same position.

**Sorry, this took so long. I really wanted this to be perfect, or as close as I could get to it anyways. I hope everyone liked it. Review and let me know. :) **


	7. What Has to Happen

**First of all, I would just like to thank everyone who has been keeping up with this story so far! I love reading the reviews. It really turned my super, not great day around. :) Thank you, and happy reading!**

Chapter 7

"What Has to Happen"

I am alone, and it's cold. I wander aimlessly through what looks like trees, but I'm not sure. I squint, but it doesn't help at all. There is a blanket of thick fog enveloping everything around me. A cold chill shoots through my spine and my teeth begin to chatter. _I need help._ I stumble across rough terrain, tripping over tree branches and roots. I want to call out for help, but I get a strange feeling that no one is around to hear me. Screaming will not help me here.

I hear a sound behind me. _Maybe I'm not alone. _I stop and feel my heart rise into my throat. I begin plotting the end of whatever is behind me. "Wait, wait for me!" I spin around slowly. I have never heard this voice before. It is strange and high-pitched. For some reason, I move towards it. It is somewhere in the distance, but I can't make out where exactly.

_I should run. It's probably a trap._ But I don't listen to myself. I move closer and closer, waiting for the voice once more. "You're going too fast." The voice begins to sound upset now. I'm getting closer; I can hear it much more clearly. It's the voice of a small child, possibly a little girl. "Prim!" I yell into the gray mist around me.

I take off into a blind run towards the voice. It's getting louder and louder, and then it just…disappears. I search and search, but find no trace of any other being. I begin to panic thinking that something has happened to the little girl. I run until the fog clears. The moonlight illuminates the forest floor. I see no trace of a little girl anywhere. I am about to turn back, thinking I have missed something, when I see it. Off to itself in a small clearing sits a stone that almost seems to be glowing. I see engraving on it, but I am too far away to read it. Then it hits me. "Gravestone," I say out loud.

I don't need to know what it reads; I know exactly who has been put to rest underneath that beautiful, gleaming white stone. I sprint in any other direction, straight back into the fog, but the voice is following me again. I turn left quickly, now trying to escape. My breath is coming out in a tiny ragged gasps. I trip over something. My face smacks into the hard ground, disorienting me for a moment. I look back and see the headstone. I am lying right next to it. I scream and run for the forest once more. Her voice is yelling for me now. I can't seem to get away. I sink to my knees in defeat and lock my hands over my ears. I scream for someone, anyone to help me. But no one comes.

My eyes pop open in terror. I am shaking and my whole body is covered in sweat. I search frantically around my room. There is no sign of the headstone, or the little girl's voice. My breath is beginning to feel like tiny daggers rising within my body. I try to calm down, but it is not possible.

The headstone. I couldn't read it, but I know whose it was. I place my hand over abdomen and begin to cry. "I'm so sorry," I whisper into the darkness. I get up from the bed, too afraid of the voice to close my eyes once more. I walk into the bathroom and splash my face with cold water. It seems to help a little. _At least the shaking has stopped_. I stare at my face in the mirror. The dark circles remain under my eyes, making the gray within my irises resemble the sky before a violent thunderstorm. _How fitting._ I haven't had a full nights sleep in days. I have horrible nightmares. I'm losing weight, and I cry more than I ever have in my whole life. My mother says it's merely hormones, but I hate it just the same.

I turn sideways and place my hand over my abdomen, a strange habit I have formed lately. It's been two weeks since I've told Peeta, two months into my pregnancy. My stomach feels different against my palm. It has rounded just slightly, but only enough for me to tell. I'm sure women find this exciting, but I find it to be very strange. I have hardly any feeling at all towards it, and it is probably because I don't want to become attached. _We're both going to die anyways._

I feel the overwhelming urge to see Peeta, to have him comfort me. He is the only one who completely understands. I grab a light jacket and walk to his house. This wouldn't be the first time that this has happened lately.

We both wear the same pale, distant look and neither can sleep. We look awful. I know that Haymitch knows that something is happening, but he doesn't ask and I can't bear to tell him just yet. My mother, Prim, and Peeta are the only ones who know.

I knock on Peeta's door and wait patiently. I see him through the glass walking slowly. _I must have woken him up._ I catch sight of his face as he opens the door. He looks more tired than usual. "Hey." He gives me a half-smile. I walk inside and take off my jacket. "Peeta, are you ok?"

He shakes his head. "I had an awful dream." I drop my gaze. We should both be used to this by now. _I may never sleep peacefully again._ "Do you want to talk about it?" He shakes his head once more. "No, just come lay with me."

We climb the stairs and move to his bed. I nestle my body against his with my head against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat. I never thought something so ordinary could sound so beautiful. It meant that he was living, and I intended to keep that beautiful sound alive in his chest. I let my hand rest on my abdomen once more. _Am I an awful person for this? I am sacrificing myself to save Peeta, but in the process I am killing it…our child." _I shake the thought from my mind. I can't think about all of that right now. I look up at Peeta and see a tear gliding down his face. "What's wrong? Is it your dream?"

He shook his head. "I just…I don't want to lose you both, Katniss. I have nightmares that I live. How crazy is your world when you're afraid that you won't die in a few weeks? This is all driving me crazy." He sits up and places his head in his hands, rocking slowly. "I keep thinking that I need to be strong for you, but it's so hard. I know that I have to die in order to keep you both alive, and I would never want it any other way. But just knowing that I will never hold you again or see our child's face makes me feel so twisted inside. I don't know how to deal with it." I reach my hand out and rub his back gently. Tears are streaming down my face. "I'm so sorry, Peeta. I'm so sorry." He turns to me and wraps me in his arms.

"We can't be like this forever. Neither of us will make it out alive. We need to get stronger," he whispers into my hair. I shake my head, unable to form words. He pulls me back and brushes a lock of hair from my face. "I have to make you stronger. You have to make it out. I know what you're thinking. I can see it in your eyes all the time. You are planning to die in that arena, but that can't happen. Don't you understand? Don't you understand that?" I am sobbing at this point. _He knows me too well._ "I would rather die a thousand painful deaths then ever live in a life without you and our daughter."

I search his eyes, unsure if I heard him correctly. He notices the confusion. "I dreamt it was a girl. I saw you holding her. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You see, that has to happen." I fall against his chest. I can't take it anymore. He shushes me and I squeeze my eyes shut, attempting to block out the world. He lies back on the pillow and rubs my back softly, calming me somewhat. I position my ear right over his heart, and once again listen to the melodic sound of his heart beating. In that moment, I knew that there was no sound more beautiful. _He doesn't understand what has to happen._ I allow myself that final stubborn though before drifting into a deep slumber.

**Ok, so I know that everyone was expecting Gale or Haymitch to find out in this chapter, and honestly I was too, until I started writing. This just flowed right out of my fingertips and I love it. I promise next chapter someone will find out, but until then I hope this is ok. Review and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!**


	8. Did He Do This to You?

**Well, I'm really glad to see that no one hated me after the last update. If you were a tad bit upset about it, I am here to dispel all negative feelings that may exist at this point. Gale finds out now. Happy reading! :)**

Chapter 8

"Did He Do This to You?"

The morning sickness was better, but certain smells still assaulted my poor body. My mother says that it's not a big deal, all normal. I can tell she is a tad worried about my appearance though. It's obvious that I haven't been sleeping, I am losing weight, and my skin holds a pale, sickly color. I don't think about it too much, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she did.

I had been training with Peeta and Haymitch every morning like usual, pushing and trudging on even though I merely wanted to stay in bed all day. One day during lunch, Gale paid me a little visit. Peeta and Haymitch were taking lunch and resting for a little while in their own homes. He hadn't seen me in a few weeks. I heard a knock on the door, and ignored the lunch my mother had made special for me. "Gale?" I said questioningly as I opened the door. "Shouldn't you be working?'

He shook his head. "Day off." I didn't even realize it was Sunday. That used to be my special day, now I didn't even take notice. I studied his face, something was off. He was looking at me funny, scrutinizing every detail.

"Katniss, you look miserable. Is everything ok?" _I forgot how awful I looked. Of course he would be worried._ I nodded my head and did my best to smile. "I haven't been sleeping very well." That doesn't seem to calm his fears and suspicions.

"What brings you here?" I want him to go away for some reason. I need his eyes to leave my face. I am not the same Katniss anymore. The Katniss he knows no longer exists, and for some reason I can't bear the thought of him finding that out.

"I just wanted to see you. I miss you." I merely nod. In truth, I missed him, but none of that mattered. I had much bigger things on my mind.

"Want a bite to eat? My mother has some delicious stew prepared." He took off his coat, eliciting a quiet moan from my lips. _He plans on staying awhile._ "That sounds great. I was just thinking about how hungry I was, but I was so intent on seeing you that I forgot to eat."

I tried to laugh and be jolly with him, but I just didn't feel up for our normal discourse. "I'll get a bowl. Have a seat. I was just eating lunch myself." I grabbed a bowl and ladled the thick stew into it. The steam rose, swirling about in the air before me. I watched for a moment, wishing that Gale would just go away. The more time I spent with him, the harder it became to keep my secret from him. I knew he cared about me, we had been helping each other ever since our father's death. He cared for my family while I was competing the first time. I should have been able to tell him, but something about it didn't feel right, not yet.

I wondered how he and his family were doing since the fence was turned back on. I set the bowl before him and got my answer as he began to devour it.

"How's training?" he said between large bites of potato and vegetables. I shrugged, sitting back down to my own lunch. "It's going well. I really feel like I'm getting stronger." _Maybe a few muscles, but inside I'm breaking._

He nodded. We sat in silence for a moment. I could tell that he was thinking. "You look exhausted. Maybe you should rest more." Anger rose in my throat. _I can't, don't you see? I have to make sure Peeta comes home! _I only nodded.

"Katniss, you're acting strange. Talk to me. I know that something is wrong."

I'm a horrible liar. I knew that if I spent any time with him that he would know that I had a secret. _I don't want to tell him .Can't he see that?_ I just stared at the counter. He places his hand on my face and lets them drift down my braid. The affectionate gesture made me tear up a little.

"Please." His eyes were pleading. I could tell that he was worried. We take care of each other; it's just something we do.

"Sleep deprivation. Thinking about going back into the arena keeps me up at night." I stare into his face, and instantly know that he isn't buying it.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it, ok?" Hot tears were pouring down my cheeks, and I felt betrayed by my emotions.

"You should just tell me. I might be able to help with something." _Doubtful._ I move around the counter and stare out of the window. I hear him moving behind me. He comes behind me and wraps his arms around me. More tears begin to fall. _I will miss this._

"I have been thinking, and we should have run away. We should have made our escape. I could have saved you." I pulled out of his embrace and move to another side of the kitchen.

"It was a stupid idea. They would have found me. I belong to the Capitol." "Is that what it is, Katniss? You feel owned?"

I was sick of his dissecting. I need him to leave. I can't bear to hear anymore talk of running away and the Capitol. _My life is over now._ I need him to leave. But before I knew it, the words were tumbling out of me.

"No, I'm pregnant." My eyes felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets. _I can't believe I just said that!_ He stood stock-still, adding everything up.

"I, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." A new emotion crossed his face. He turned just slightly, making it hard for me to make it out exactly. "Gale?" I said nervously as I took a few timid steps towards him.

"Did he do this to you?" I am close enough now to see that he looks furious. His fists are clenched, and small beads of sweat are appearing on his brow. "What? I-"

He cut me off and spun around to face me. "Did _Peeta_ do this to you?" He stumbles over his name like it's poison.

"Gale, it's ok. I'm dealing with it." He grabs my arms, making me jump. "No, it's not ok! Look at you. You look miserable. And you are both about to go back! Have you become so blinded that you have forgotten?" I snapped my arms out of his grasp, the first real trace of the old Katniss surfacing.

"Of course I know that, Gale! How could I forget? It's not like we planned it, it just happened."

He scoffs, getting the answer that he needed. "Did he manipulate you? Is that how he got you into bed?"

"Of course not!" I was furious now.

"Right, and now you're making excuses for him. Maybe I'll just go have a little talk with Daddy over there." He turned to go out of the door, but I threw myself in front of it first.

"Gale, don't do this." He pushed me aside with ease and marched over to Peeta's. I ran after him, screaming in protest, but nothing seemed to work. He was blinded by rage, and I was powerless against it.

"Peeta!" I called in warning. If anything, I could maybe alert Peeta before Gale got over there. He had no idea what was about to happen, but honestly, neither did I. I never expected such anger. I would have never said anything. "Gale, please don't!" But he didn't listen. He marched directly for his door, ignoring me completely. His sole focus now was Peeta.

**So…what do you think? I didn't think that Gale would react in any other way but anger. Let me know what you think. The reviews make me want to write more, faster. Thanks for reading. :)**


	9. Complicated

**I won't bother you with too much writing. I know you want to get going with the chapter. So here it is, happy reading!**

Chapter 9

"Haymitch Knows, Gale is Furious, and Peeta Loves Me…"

Peeta must have heard my panicked screams. He opens the door and takes in the scene before him; Gale stomping into his yard, almost to his door and myself running after Gale like a fool. I could feel my sense of control dissipating with every step closer to Peeta Gale became. My pleading gets louder and my pace becomes quicker. _What is he going to do?_

Peeta walks out into his yard, only making me feel crazier. "Nice to see you, Gale," Peeta says in a surprisingly even tone. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" I hear Gale scoff and charge at Peeta. "You bastard!" he yelled before driving Peeta into the ground, visibly knocking the wind out of him. I scream and fling myself onto Gale's back. "Stop! Stop this now!" Gale pushes me off of him with ease and punches Peeta solidly across his right cheek.

Peeta fights back, but Gale is much stronger. I pull myself off of the ground and grab Gale's arms. Gale would not relent. It was as if I wasn't even there. He stands, yanking Peeta up with him. He is about to punch Peeta in the stomach, when I somehow wedge my body in between the two. I hear Peeta's screams in protest, but I am not even concerned with the potential danger to myself. Gale stops immediately, a look of sheer anger on his face.

"What do you think you are doing, standing up for him? He has ruined you." I shake my head viciously and push him away from Peeta and I. "Gale, it's nothing like that. It's me. It's my fault!" The anger never leaves Gale's face; I can only hope that I am getting to him.

I hear Peeta's voice chime in behind me, and I know that it is all over. "Gale, I understand why you are so angry." Gale pushes me aside and punches Peeta in the stomach. I begin screaming in protest again, until a voice interrupts our little show on the lawn. We all stop to look, and see Haymitch wielding a knife.

"Get off of him, kid. We need him." Gale stands stock-still, unsure how to handle the situation. "I said get off." Haymitch's voice gets louder and sterner this time. He holds the knife out, letting Gale know that he isn't afraid to use it. "We need Peeta in one piece."

Gale doesn't look happy about it, but he lets Peeta go. Haymitch smiles and walks closer to Gale. "That's all we'll need from you today, thanks." Gale, not knowing what else to do turns to me. I am so angry I can barely keep myself from lunging at his throat. "Just leave, Gale." My words ooze out of me like venom. I notice that I'm shaking.

He looks a little hurt, but what can he expect from me after pummeling Peeta. _I knew I would have to defend Peeta from the tributes, but never expected I would have to fight off Gale._ Gale walks off, his pride obviously wounded.

As soon as I'm sure that Gale is no longer a threat, I turn my attention to Peeta. "Are you ok?" He nods and rubs his jaw. "That is beginning to swell. Maybe there is something that my mother could do for you." He doesn't protest.

Once inside, my mother begins to examine his face and abdomen, checking for broken ribs or signs of internal bleeding. Peeta is obviously in pain. "Is there anything I can do for you?" I really do want to help him. This, among so many other things, is my fault. "Not a thing." I look down, obviously feeling useless in this situation.

Peeta laughed, wincing after the fact. "That, that right there is exactly how I have felt every day since you've been…sick." We both give sideways glances at Haymitch, but he doesn't seem to be paying attention. I smile a little. "I hadn't thought about that."

Peeta's smile fades and he looks serious again. "Gale found out, didn't he?" I nod, adrenaline still coursing through my veins. "Yeah, he did. I had no idea that any of this…"

"It's fine. Did he hurt you?" I notice a bit of tension in his voice. Surely it's not directed at me. "No."

Haymitch begins to chuckle, throwing us both off guard. "The boy's just mad that his chances with her are over." I stare at him, confused. "What do you mean?" I ask in all sincerity.

"I know you're not really that dense, doll. The baby ties you to Peeta forever." My mouth drops. I glance quickly at Peeta, his face an exact replication of my own.

"How…how did you know?" Haymitch takes a few steps towards us, as if indicating that he is now in the conversation. "Seriously? You've been all but puking up your organs for the past month or so and you thought I wouldn't notice?" He shrugs and lets out a small laugh. "Maybe you are that dense."

"I'm…really sorry about this." He leans against the counter, looking down at his boots.

"There's really nothing we can do about it now. The situation isn't…ideal, but we'll manage somehow." I look down at the ground. I knew that he didn't believe we could make it out now. Our chances of winning just got slimmer, and we all knew it.

Peeta noticed how upset I was becoming. "We will manage. It will probably even motivate us more so than before. We can do this." I merely nodded.

My mother gave Peeta something for the pain, and he left. I thanked my mother and went upstairs to be alone. I needed to process all of this.

I went to my room and sank into the chair in my room. Everything seemed crazy. Haymitch knew all along. Gale is furious with Peeta, possibly me too. _But I'm furious with him…but also upset that things will be different between us now._ Peeta loves me, that's known. _But do I love him?_

I touch my abdomen. _And how do I feel about it?_ I haven't given it more than fleeting moments of thought as I study my body in the mirror. It's like having a little piece of Peeta all the time, but I don't love it. Not really. I don't feel like I love Peeta either. _Or do I?_ _I do run to him at night for comfort…_

I immediately shake those feelings. I only run to him because he is feeling the same way. He is the only one who understands. _Am I horrible for doing this? Knowing that he loves me, but not reciprocating the emotion but running to him like I do?_ My mind is reeling from today. There is too much to think about. I sink into my bed and let my mind drift off, knowing there will be no peace there, but not caring. I needed the escape just for the moment.

**I can't begin to thank everyone for their overwhelming reaction to my story. I never expected so many people to love it, but I am so glad that you all do! I hope you enjoyed the update. :) And sorry that it took so long, life called a little louder than usual today. I hope you enjoyed it though. Review and let me know what you think!**


	10. Pull Yourself Together, Katniss

**Woo hoo! A hundred reviews! This is awesome. :) Thanks again for all of the lovely thoughts and comments. I would like to go ahead and point out that I am not following the novel completely. There are just some things that I feel like wouldn't happen if Katniss found out that she was pregnant. And I would also like to apologize for this being so late. This chapter was exceedingly difficult to write for some reason. Regardless, I hope you enjoy what I could manage. Happy reading!**

Chapter 10

"Pull Yourself Together, Katniss"

My last month at home goes by quickly. Peeta and I spent our time relaxing, eating way too many cheese buns, and not talking about anything of importance. It was perfect. So perfect, that I almost, almost, forgot that I would ever have to be in the Games at all. That is, until a train with one hundred Peacekeepers arrive the day before the reaping. There is no way to overlook them.

The day of the reaping is smoldering hot. I stand in a small, roped-off area by myself; Haymitch and Peeta stand similarly to the left of me. Everything is the same, except there is no anticipation, no sweaty palms and queasy stomach. Everyone knows who will be District 12's female tribute. Effie stands on stage in a metallic wig, making a big show of shuffling the one slip of paper around the girls' reaping bowl. The only thing different is that she seems to have lost her sense of vigor, as if she is holding back sadness. She calls my name, I go forward.

Haymitch's name is called, but almost instantly Peeta volunteers. No one is surprised. We expect it to be the same as always, but we are mistaken. Without even letting us give the crowd so much as a smile, we are whisked off. The Peacekeepers lead us through the back door of the Justice Building and onto a train. It is nothing like last time. There is one to see us off. Haymitch and Effie are escorted onto the train just as quickly. The door is slammed shut, and we are off, leaving District 12 and everyone we love behind us.

The train sways slightly. I sit at the window, thinking of everything I had planned to say to my family. I had no hope of ever returning, but I wanted to say…something. I wanted to kiss Prim's hair and hold her. I wanted to tell her that everything would be ok, and that she would be safe. I wanted to tell my mother thank you for being so supportive. I needed her to know that I really did love her. I also wanted to see Gale. I needed to know that no matter what he felt for me or my situation, that he would help Prim and my mother through this. I needed him to know that they were not only losing me, but their future grandchild and niece. But everything going through my mind was meaningless. The Capitol had robbed me of my parting words to my family as well.

Peeta sat down beside me, placing his hand securely in mine. "We will write letters." I merely nodded, knowing that I would never actually write to them. While it may give them something physical to hold onto, I could never make it personal enough to actually give to them. I am not great at writing things on paper—I need the physical aspect to help me.

I lay my head on his shoulder and lapse into a strange state where nothing is actually real and I feel no emotion. I feel comfort here. I feel myself falling asleep and know that I have become too comfortable. _I have to snap out of this. I am no good if I keep mulling over what is to be lost. I need to focus on protecting Peeta._ I pull myself upright and notice that Peeta's hand rests on my abdomen. _I know where his focus lies, protecting me and the baby. _I smile softly at him and begin walking to my room to think.

Once inside, I shut my door and sink onto my bed. I rest my hand across my belly button, still not sure exactly where the baby is. My stomach seems to have shifted upward, making it look as if I have put on weight in my stomach and I am not pregnant. I still feel no sense of protection over it. _Maybe I would be protecting Peeta if I stayed alive and gave birth to our child. _The thought stuck for a moment, but was immediately cast aside. I could never bring our child into a world where he/she would inevitably face the same fate in the arena as Peeta. Besides, I would never be able to go on if that boy weren't around to smile or hold me when I needed comforted. It just wouldn't work. _Peeta must live._

Effie interrupts my reverie, knocking and calling me to dinner. Emotional exhaustion is setting in. I feel it weighting me to the ground every time I stand. _Pull yourself together, Katniss. Be strong._

I pull my shoulders back, take a deep breath, and head to dinner. No one really feels like talking. The first time was too much, but to be here again seems to be overwhelming everyone beyond belief. Occasionally, someone tries to start conversation, but nothing really sticks.

"I love your new hair, Effie," Peeta remarks across the table. I looked and noticed that it was a metallic color for the first time. _I really do need to get myself together. _Her face lights up momentarily. "I dyed it to match Katniss' mockingjay pin. I have been thinking about getting you and Haymitch something to go along with it to look like a team. What do you think?"

I shift uncomfortably. Effie apparently is not aware of the rebel's use of my mockingjay pin. In her world, it is only the reminder of an especially riveting year in the Games. Everyone nods, and Peeta fakes enthusiasm. "That sounds like a great idea, Effie."

"Thank you. I was thinking about an ankle band for you and maybe a bracelet for Haymitch." I look at Haymitch. He isn't drinking, but I can tell that he wants to be. I laugh a little. "Maybe we can get Haymitch a wig, too." He shoots me a "leave me alone" glare and returns to his meal. _Still fun._

"Shall we watch the recap of the reapings?" Effie asks as she places her fork down lightly and moves the napkin from her lap to the corners of her mouth. We all nod. I would rather not, but I know that I need to. I need to know who I will have to kill in order to save Peeta. Peeta grabs his notebook that he has been using since we began training and moves to the compartment with the TV to join us.

The anthem plays and we watch as the living fifty nine of seventy five victors face the same fate as I do. Some are old, which is reassuring and sad at the same time. _They thought they were safe, too. _Every district produces a male and female tribute. We watch, Peeta marking the names of our opponents.

They are over quickly. Effie and Haymitch retire, leaving Peeta and myself alone. He begins ripping out the pages of notes that he has written on the victors that we will not be facing. Everything becomes more and more real every time he rips out another page. He looks up at me momentarily. "You should sleep, Katniss."

"I won't be able to." He doesn't even look up from his notebook. "You should try." I don't want to leave him, but I know that he is right. I move to my room and still my thoughts long enough to fall asleep. But of course, I woke up screaming three hours later from a nightmare where Peeta died protecting me. He threw his body on top of mine, protecting me from the knife that plunged deeply into his back. The last thing I remember is screaming for him and feeling his warm blood ooze onto my body. I leapt from my bed and walked to the TV room. I was surprised to find Peeta there.

He was watching some of the old Games. "Nightmare," I put in before he could ask. He shifted a little, making it easy for me to snuggle in to his body. I did so, and wished that I had never gone to bed. I feel so much safer than when I'm alone. We watched several of the Games in silence, but then a thought hit me.

"You know, I have never seen the Games where Haymitch wins." I notice by the look on his face that he hasn't either. "You think he would mind?" He seems to really think about it, scrunching his brow for a moment. "I don't really know. I would never want to watch our Games again." I look around to make sure Haymitch isn't lurking anywhere. It feels like we are infringing upon Haymitch's private life. However, the games were public.

"Maybe we just won't tell him." Peeta shrugs and we put in the tape in anyway. It opens with the anthem as always. Then a younger still-awful Snow comes on-screen, informing the citizens that every district will offer up twice the amount of tributes in honor of the Quarter Quell. I take that in for a moment. It sounds near-impossible. The editors move right into the clips of the reapings. It is terrible to know that all of these children are being sent to their death.

We watch intensely as the tributes from 12 are picked. A girl who is obviously from the Seam is picked. "Maysilee Donner." The name is familiar. "That's my mother's friend." Then the camera cuts to Maysilee clinging to two other girls. Peeta points to the girl on the right. "I think that's your mother." I nod, but can't seem to pull my eyes away from the television. She was so beautiful. My gaze then falls on the girl to the left. She looks exactly like Maysilee, and someone else but I can't place who. Peeta knows exactly who it is.

"That's Madge's mother. They were twins." "How do you know that?" I ask, but never move my eyes from the emotional scene. "My dad mentioned it once." I feel my heart sink a little. _This is why Madge's mother is always in bed._ We watch as Maysilee breaks from her friends, and moves to the large platform. "My pin was hers." Peeta nods, but I know that he understands the magnitude. It means so much more to me now.

Haymitch is called last. He looks young, strong, even handsome (as hard as that is to admit), but still looked dangerous. It really throws us both off to see him. Then a horrible thought hits me. "You don't think he killed Maysilee, do you?" He shakes his head and pulls me a tiny bit closer to him. "The odds are against it. They were in the arena with forty eight players." It helps the strange nagging I feel at the thought.

Then it moves to the chariot rides. District 12's tributes look hideous as coal miners, and then the interviews. Of course, the other tribute's interviews have been cut, except Haymitch. His tactic is to remain arrogant and quippy, which works. He manages to capture a few laughs from the audience, and then the tape cuts to the Games. The tributes are about to rise into the arena when I quickly hit pause.

"Is this a good idea? What if we find something we don't like?" Peeta shrugs. "I don't know. I feel like we can deal with it after what we've been through. We might even learn some stuff." I let that sink in for a moment. _He's right. _I hit play once more. _Let the 50__th__ annual Hunger Games begin._

**Ok, so this was running a bit long. I'll divide this into two chapters. Tell me what you think so far. I had a hard time writing this one so reviews would be much appreciated. It just didn't seem to flow as easily as the last chapters have been.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	11. Three, Not Two

**So I _definitely_ did not expect to take so long to update! Oh my goodness, all I can say is that I am so so so sorry! Life got really crazy, and still is. But it has slowed down enough so that I can at least write a little. I couldn't bear to make you all wait any longer, or me for that matter. Even I want to know where I will take Katniss and Peeta even though I have a semi-plan laid out in my head. :) I want to thank each and every one of you for actually coming back and reading this after that horrifically long break. I realize that a lot of you were pretty invested in the story, so I hope this will make up for it. :)**

**However, after some serious consideration I have decided that the last chapter was so slow because I was following the events of the book pretty closely. I would like to stray from that just a little. I didn't want to, but I feel like my creativity won't hurt it. But if you think that it does, or you think that I have botched something, let me know. Seriously, I need to know these things so that I can give you amazing updates from now on! Critique away. It's always welcome here. Happy reading!**

Chapter 11

"Three, Not Two"

Peeta and I watch intensely as Haymitch competed in easily the most intense Hunger Games as of yet. When it was over, I felt differently about Haymitch. I felt like I could see him a little better as a person. I have no doubt in my mind that the two of us could successfully bring Peeta home. _I just hope that Haymitch will work with me._ I think about the stunt they pulled last year. _The reason we are in this mess at all…but also possibly the reason I'm alive._

I snuggle a little closer into Peeta's chest as he pops in the next tape. I feel so safe. I close my eyes and feel him rubbing my forearm with his fingertips gently. It lulls me into a state of peace, but not for long. As always, sleep brings no comfort.

I'm back in the forest. The fog is rolling all around me. I hear the little girl's voice behind me, but I already knew it was coming. _It's the same dream._ I walk towards it, even though I already know that I will never find it. I know exactly what is going to happen, yet I still run to save the little girl. I run until I am out of the fog, and off to the left there is a small headstone. I know what it says. I know whose name it holds, but I need to see to be sure. I didn't look last time. I take a step, but the headstone seems to jump ten steps away from me. _How strange._ I begin to run for it, but I can't seem to reach it.

I feel like I am getting closer, I'm literally almost to it, when I hear the little girl. I stop dead in my tracks. She is behind me. I turn slowly, and find a blanket, but no girl. I bend down to examine it, thinking it may be a trap. I reach my hand down and feel the soft fabric. _It's a baby blanket. _It's a pale pink. I pick it up and look to see if a name or something special has been embroidered on it, but I find nothing. No identifying characteristics at all. I look around and see no trace of the little girl, so I decide to take the blanket with me.

I turn to walk, but something is in my way. I trip and hit the ground pretty hard. I scurry to my feet, realizing that I tripped over the headstone. The fog rolls in over where I am standing, making it hard to read the letters. I bend down and get as close as I can. All I can see are the words Baby Girl M-. I strain to read the last word, but then I hear something running behind me. I don't even waste time looking. I need to get out of the clearing as soon as possible. I jet into the woods and hide behind a tree. Someone is running right to the spot where I stood moments before. I look around for a weapon. But all I have is a blanket. _What good this will do me._

I get as close as I can to the tree and watch the figure. It bends down in front of the headstone and begins to cry. I look, unsure of what to do. It could be a trick. Then, something deep within me tells me it's Peeta. I can't tell by the form, but something tells me that it's him. I run to him.

"Peeta!" I fling myself next to him. He jumps up. It is in fact Peeta, but he's angry. He doesn't even look like himself. "You killed her!" he spat at me. I took a step back, unsure of how to react. "You are the reason I'm miserable!"

"What are you talking about, Peeta?" He laughed and threw me in front of the stone marker. "Read it, Katniss. Like you don't know." I could see it now. The last word was visible now. I looked up with no expression. What could I do? What could I say? The pain and anger on his face told me, nothing. He walked away. I tried to get up and follow him, but I couldn't. I was stuck. The ground began to fall away, burying me under the soil. I screamed for him, but he never even looked back.

"KATNISS!" I popped my eyes open, just happy to hear his voice. "You're ok! You're ok, now." I tried to explain, but no words would come out. I couldn't catch my breath. I sat up, heaving and huffing, drenched in sweat. "Nigh…nightmare." I finally got out. He wrapped his arms around me and I fell into his chest. "It's ok. You're fine, now." He ran his fingers through my hair, only slightly calming me down.

"Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. _There is no way that I can tell him. He'll know my plan. _"You're right, I'm fine now." He kissed the top of my head and moved to get off of the couch. "Sit here. I'm going to find someone to get us some warm milk." I shake my head, not really wanting to be alone. He senses it. "I'll hurry."

When he returns, we sit on the couch in silence. He lets his hand drift down to my abdomen and I flinch slightly, thankfully not enough for him to notice. The attendant arrives with two steaming cups on a tray. He sets it on the table in front of us. "I added honey and spice to make it sweeter." We thank him, expecting him to exit. But he stands for a moment, as if he is taking us in, then leaves.

"That was strange," I remark. "They all feel sorry for us." I simply nod my head, not wanting to engage in this conversation further. The star-crossed lovers from Panem would be entering the arena not just as two, but as three. _If they only knew._

I finished my milk and curled into Peeta once more. I didn't want to sleep, but I knew that I would need it. Opening ceremonies would begin whether Peeta and I were ready or not.

**Ok, I know it's not terribly long but I just wanted to get something out there. I promise that I will update tomorrow! I also decided that I didn't need to write some stuff, like the details of Haymitch in the games, because I'm assuming that if you're here then you have read the book and know what happens anyways. It would be boring for me to write and you all to read. But, if you disagree I would like to know. :)**

**Thanks for reading. Hope you'll review and let me know exactly how good/bad this was or how happy/delighted/pissed off you are at me. :)**


	12. Unexpected

**As promised, here is chapter 12. :) Happy reading!**

Chapter 12

"Unexpected"

"Hey, Katniss." I felt someone shaking me slightly. "Katniss." I tried to block out the voice, my eyelids felt glued together. I turned into the couch and pulled my legs to my body. "We have to get ready for the opening ceremonies, Katniss." I lay still for a moment, hoping it's another nightmare. I ease my left eye open, and quickly see that it is not. Peeta is hovering above me with a soft smile upon his lips. It encourages me slightly, and I force myself to open both eyes. I give a small smile in return and move to sit up. I feel so tired.

He leans down and kisses my forehead. "You need to get up. I wish we could spend a little time together, but I have to get ready myself." I nodded, not really up for talking just yet. Neither was he. He moved to the door. "Seriously, get up," he shot back playfully. I laughed and swung my feet onto the floor. _So it begins…_

I knock on the door where my prep team awaits. Flavius flings open the door. "Katniss!" He wraps me in a hug immediately, throwing me off guard. Octavia follows, squishing me between the two. "Hello." I say unsure exactly how to take this situation. "Oh, Katniss! We have done nothing but weep for you!" exclaimed Flavius. I especially didn't know what to say to the weeping. I had no idea they had become so attached to me. I pat their arms as best as I can while being squished.

"It will be ok, you'll see." I sincerely didn't want to comfort them. It made me think of how my family must be reacting. "I promise it will be, ok. You'll see. Let's get started." They sniffle, and try to compose themselves as they set to work. They begin waxing and plucking, and moisturizing just like always. I was worried that one of them would notice the pregnancy weight gain, but they do not. They are too distraught. _I can't imagine what this morning would be like if they knew I was carrying Peeta's child._ They all take turns breaking down, leaning on me for support. It is over-whelming.

When they are finished, I immediately feel relieved. I know that I will miss them, but not at the moment. I am too exhausted and irritable to feel anything else. When Cinna walks in, I know that I will absolutely lose it if he isn't anything but normal. "I swear if you cry, I'll kill you here and now."

Cinna just smiles. "Had a damp morning?"

"You could wring me out," I reply. He places his arm around my shoulders and leads me out of the room. "Don't worry. I always channel my emotions into my work. That way I don't hurt anyone but myself." I smile, but only slightly. "I can't go through this morning again, Cinna." He pats my shoulder in an effort to calm my nerves.

"Believe me, I know. I will talk to them." He leads me to lunch, which makes me feel a little better. Ever since the morning sickness has basically dispelled, I've found myself wanting to eat more and more. That's probably a good thing, considering I lost a little weight in the beginning of my pregnancy. The more weight, the better as a competitor.

After cramming as much food as humanly possible, we moved to the dressing room. "So what do you have in mind for the opening ceremonies? Will I finally get to wear the ever-desired mining outfit?" I smiled brightly, finding my usual sarcasm and wit that I had lacked for so long. He finds delight in it. "Not quite, it's more along the lines of fire. Just wait for it."

The prep team returns, but Cinna sends them away, remarking on what a marvelous job they did earlier. I have never been more thankful in my life. He immediately begins working on my hair, braiding it into the style that my mother introduced him to earlier. It is simple and familiar, unlike my make-up. There is a stark difference from this year to last. Last year, make-up was minimal; I needed to be recognized by the audience. Now, they know who I am. Peeta and I need no introduction.

I watch as Cinna transforms my face. Sharp cheekbones, deep purple lips, smoldering eyes—I look so different. He places a half crown on my head, resembling the one that was placed there when I won the Hunger Games last year, except this one is made of heavy black metal instead of gold. I slip off my robe, not really thinking about it, but I catch Cinna's eyes flicker down to my abdomen momentarily. His expression never changes, but something tells me he knows. He never mouths a word about it. It almost relieves me that he doesn't.

My outfit looks simple, a black jumpsuit. It is kind of tight, making me worry that it will be easy to tell that I am three months along. My abdomen has started to look round over the last week or so, causing me a little bit of anxiety. Peeta and I hadn't discussed whether or not we would broadcast it or not, but I naturally assumed that we would not. It might get us more sponsors out of pity, but it also might make me look like an easy target.

I am just about to confess my predicament and ask if Cinna felt like the costume was a bad idea. He obviously didn't know that I was expecting when he designed it, but then he presses a button near the inside of my wrist, transforming me into something completely different. I watch as my outfit flickers red, orange and gold lights. _No one will be able to tell now. _"It's beautiful," I say in true astonishment.

I can't believe how amazing it is. Cinna has transformed me into a glowing ember. "It's exactly what I need." My message: the girl on fire no longer exists. Now, she is as deadly as fire itself.

"You're days of ribbons and pink lipstick are behind you," says Cinna. He reaches down and turns off the lights, making it even more spectacular. "Portia and I had to watch a lot of fires to make this. Whatever happens, we knew you needed to make a statement."

"I believe we will do exactly that." He smiles and begins to walk around me in a circle, surveying every last detail just to be sure.

"Now, when you get into the arena, there will be no more smiling and waving. You are to look straight ahead as if everyone is beneath your gaze."

Instant delight crossed my face. "That I can do." Cinna laughed and kissed my forehead gently. "I have no doubts. You will be great, Katniss." I give him a small smile, ending our afternoon. He leaves to attend to some form of business before the ceremony, and I head down to the ground floor of the Remake Center.

All of the victors are milling about, unlike last year where everyone seemed to be glued to their chariots. These people are friends, some have known each other for years. I am at least thankful that I didn't have time to make friends and network with these people. I would have been a mentor and would have gotten to know the other mentors who had once suffered the same hell that Peeta and I were beginning to know so well. I looked around for Peeta and Haymitch, but they were no where to be found.

I was about to leave in search of them, but someone came up behind me. Finnick Odair. I turn and find that he is a little too close for my comfort. He flirts, but I don't find him very attractive. I can see why others would though. For some reason, he makes it a point to ask if I have any secrets worth his time, worrying me immensely. I respond with a simple no, but I can't tell if he believes that or not. He leaves, and I instantly decide that I do not trust him.

Peeta finds me just moments after Finnick departs. I immediately notice that we are dressed identically. "What did he want?" I move in close to Peeta, trying my best to be seductive. I position myself as close to his ear as I can get, letting my lips gently graze his ear. "He wanted to know my secrets." Peeta shivered slightly. He pulled me back just a little. "Does he know about the…you know?" He gestured to my abdomen.

"I don't think so." He nodded and placed his hand on my back, pulling me close to him once more. "All day I have been wishing that we could escape all of this, but now I understand that there is no way that we could have. Every year, we would be right here, mentoring others and leading them to a similar fate." I place my head on his shoulder, careful not to smudge my make-up. "I guess I never gave that part much thought."

He kisses the top of my head gently. It's hard talking about a future that we both subconsciously know that we will never have. I look up at him with a smile and kiss him gently, too much emotion is between us to do anything more. The music begins to play, and we head to our chariot. The doors swing open and district one's chariot spills out into the arena. Peeta helps me up, and then swings himself to stand beside me. "Hold still," I say and straighten his crown. "Perfect. We look perfect. Have you seen your suit turned on? We are going to be fabulous."

He laughs, a real Peeta laugh, and it brings me actual joy. "I know. Now remember, no smiling or waving. I know how you _love_ to play to the crowd." I hit his arm playfully, pretending to be offended, but I appreciate the humor. "Look at some of the other competitors. Their stylists must be mimicking Cinna's fire technique," he gestures to a few to our left and it is all I can do to stifle a laugh. District three makes sense, electronics, but the livestock keepers from ten look pathetic. Cows with fire belts? _Does fire ever mean anything good to cows_? _I think not. _"Maybe we should turn ourselves on. I don't see Cinna or anyone around," he says. I nod and we turn on our suits, drawing attention from some of the other victors.

For a moment I wonder how they all feel about us. They experienced the emotion of last year's games. They watched our every move in the arena. I wonder if they became attached like so many others have. Peeta and I may have been alive during some of the other tribute's Games, but there is no way to truly understand unless you have been in the arena. That's one thing that I noticed as we watched the tapes of our competitors.

I look back at Peeta and find him staring at me. He places his hand under my chin and smiles. "You really are beautiful, Katniss." I give a small smile, but look down, not used to compliments about my personal appearance. He leans in and kisses me deeply. I place my hand on the back of his neck and we cling to each other as long as we can. Our moment is broken when district eleven's chariot departs. It is our turn. Peeta smiles one last time, and fixes my smudged lipstick. _I hope you can't tell. Cinna would die if he saw._

No one had instructed whether or not we should hold hands, but planned or not, it just kind of happened. _Of course we will go into this as one._ Our chariot enters the arena, and the crowd bursts into one universal scream. They cheer louder for us than for anyone. We pretend not to notice. I fix my eyes on a part of the ceiling on the other side of the arena. I glance at the screen momentarily and catch sight of us on the monitor.

Our team has made us beautiful. It is unlike anything I have ever seen. It is evident that we do not seek the crowds favor any longer. No more waving and smiling. We are unforgiving. We have suffered and somehow made it out alive, together. Now we are being stripped of what should be our right to comfort and security. I finally get to be me for the crowd.

They eat it up. We make our final circle with all of the other chariots. I can't help but notice that everyone's eyes are glued to us. And, I don't get a good enough look to be sure, but I am almost positive that President Snow is just as fixated as everyone else. Something about that brings me great delight. When it is all over, and we are away from the publics gaze, I feel like I can finally breathe. The other victors immediately resume socializing. I walk towards the elevators, but Haymitch catches Peeta and me before we can go anywhere. "Nope, you need to make allies." I sigh. I want to argue so badly, but he pushes us into a conversation before I can even make out a syllable. _He knows me too well._

I look and recognize Haymitch's friend, Chaff, and a woman named Seeder. As soon as Chaff notices us, he smiles and throws his arm around my shoulders, planting a big kiss right on my mouth. I jerk back quickly, not expecting that at all. Haymitch begins to laugh hysterically. I feel anger rising into my throat. Whether he knew that would happen or not, I was still furious with Haymitch for forcing me over here.

Luckily, the attendants begin ushering us out before I can say anything. Peeta knowingly grabs my arms and pulls me to the nearest elevator. I feel another person beside me, and look to my right. I recognize Johanna Mason from District seven. She is wearing a tree costume, which makes sense considering they are the paper and lumber district. _At least she doesn't have a fire belt._ I laugh silently to myself.

"I know it's awful. You can say it. My designer is probably the worst around. A tree, really original. There have only been oh, forty or so before me who wore this same costume design. You look fantastic though. I wish I could have gotten Cinna. I can't wait to get this miserable thing off of me." I notice that I am not really paying her much attention. I'm not good at carrying on conversations about clothes and girl things so I merely nod my head. My attention is reeled back in when I catch sight of the costume in a heap on the floor. "That's better," she remarks.

The rest of the ride up, she chats with Peeta about his paintings. I don't look at either one. I abandon Peeta's hand and cross my arms over my chest. I can see the light from out suits reflecting off of her bare body, and it makes me furious. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. The doors open and she leaves. I smile at her, but only because it is a formality.

Peeta laughs and I don't even look at him. He's really grating on my nerves. Finally, after the laughter persisted for two floors, I turn on him. "Her standing naked is really that humorous to you?"

He shakes his head and continues to laugh. "You don't get it?"

"No Peeta, apparently I don't!" I shot back at him.

"They are all doing this because of you. You are so…pure. Just like when you wouldn't look at me while I was naked in the arena."

Anger began to absolutely boil. "Are you serious? Pure? Peeta, I don't know if you have missed the last three months of our lives, but I'm pregnant…with your child. I don't know how that is pure at all."

He placed his hands on my arms and I immediately swatted them away. "Katniss, they don't know you're pregnant. That's why it's so funny." I calmed down a little, but I was too amped up to be rational. My anger seemed to melt into something different. I flung myself against Peeta, kissing him passionately. My complete change must be due to pregnancy hormones or something. A second ago I wanted to rip his head off, now all I want to do is rip his clothes off.

I attack his mouth, but he pulls me away just as the elevator doors open. Haymitch, who somehow beat us to our floor, and Effie, Portia, and Cinna stand before us. They congratulate us and wish us well tomorrow in the interviews. We thank them for everything, especially Portia and Cinna, and then retire to the Peeta's room. Neither one of us even care if the others see when we go in together.

As soon as the bedroom door clicks shut, we begin to devour one another. I have never felt the need for any of it, but in the moment, it is the only thing in the world that I desire. When we finish, Peeta and I fall asleep, his hand across my stomach and my head over his heart. Everything is forgotten, and I find peace for the first time in a while.

**Alright, there it is! It took me longer then expected, but I really wanted to try to make up for the break. I hope this works. :) Let me know if this makes up for lost time. I love hearing from everyone. Thanks for reading!**

**P.S. The next update will not take long to post, promise. I want to ensure that everyone isn't afraid that I will go on hiatus for so long again.**


	13. They Know

**Before I begin, I would like to thank everyone for all of the lovely reviews! I just want each and every one of you to know how deeply I appreciate the fact that someone would even want to read what I am writing, much less anticipate the next update so intensely. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that I will continue to hear your feedback. You all brighten my day. :)**

**And, I am going to skip the training sessions. They would be the same, and I am assuming that everyone has already read them. You know what happens so it will just bore us both for me to re-write them.**

**So it begins…the big reveal. We have all been waiting for it. Enjoy and happy reading!**

Chapter 13

"They Know"

Peeta and I wake up quite early for some reason, just in time to catch the sunrise. It's beautiful as it paints the Capitol sky beautiful streaks of red and yellow and orange, extending like tendrils over a sleeping city. Every detail of the morning seems to engrain itself within my memory. It's isn't the first sunrise I've ever seen. Plenty were right in front of me as I headed out to hunt for game in the woods…back before everything went crazy. I don't let those thoughts creep into my head for long though, because it doesn't matter. In all honesty, I don't have many sunrises left to watch.

I curl into Peeta's arms and let everything float away. All I need at the moment is just to absorb everything around me. "I can't believe how beautiful it is." I say quietly, as if I could fracture the wonder that is being painted before me.

"I know. It's almost like it's even more beautiful here than at home." He rubs my arm with his thumb, making everything seem more and more beautiful.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's all processed. They enhance the sun's natural colors here. That's why it's so much prettier." I say jokingly, but we both know that it has intense potential to be a true.

As soon as the sun rises completely, I feel tired for some reason. It's been happening a lot lately. Maybe the stress, maybe the baby—it's not like I have anyone to ask what normal pregnancy symptoms are. In truth, does it matter? We are both going to die in a matter of days anyway.

"Peeta, I'm kind of tired. We still have a few hours to kill. I'm turning in." He kisses the top of my head and stands up. "I'll go with you. We need all of the rest we can get."

We retire once more, planning on waking up half an hour before the prep team arrives, but we don't. They opened the door, looking for me no doubt, and found Peeta and myself curled into one another and fast asleep. I heard them come in, but what really woke me up was the sound of Octavia bursting into tears when she saw us. I felt my heart sink immediately, hoping it wouldn't be another one of those days.

But Venia surprised me. She sternly turned to Octavia, demanding that she either suck it up or get out. "You remember what Cinna said," she told her. Octavia nodded, but couldn't control her weeping. She exited the room, not even able to look at me.

Flavius and Venia set right to work, but no one speaks. They continue applying everything as normal. It isn't until Flavius begins to cut my hair that I notice that he is silently crying. I pat his hand, and Venia glares at him. He puts his scissors down, kisses the top of my head, and walks out without another sound. I can't decide what's worse, watching them stifle their emotion or having to see it all splayed in front of me like the other day.

Venia finishes my look with a ferocity that I have never seen before. She holds it together, but refuses to even look me in the eye. It isn't until Cinna arrives that she actually sees me for the first time all morning. He approves, and she takes my hands and looks straight into my eyes and says, "We would all like you to know what a…privilege it has been to get to know you and make you look your best." Then I watch as she gathers her things and almost runs from the room.

My prep team has nearly broken my heart with their emotion. I would have never guessed that these shallow, foolish people could have let me into their hearts so deeply. We all know that I won't be returning. They couldn't stand to let me go without me knowing how much I mean and will always mean to them.

I push all of the emotion back, I can't think of it right now. I focus my attention upon Cinna. He makes it easy to be myself in the midst of so much pain. I catch sight of the garment bag, and genuinely want to know what is inside.

"What's in the bag?" I hate clothes and fashion, but I love everything Cinna designs for me. It is always spectacular.

"President Snow made sure that this would be the dress you wore tonight." He unzips the bag, revealing one of the many wedding dresses that I modeled. I don't remember it, the whole shoot was a blur, but it is quite pretty. It's made of heavy white silk, adorned with tons of pearls, a low neckline, tight waist, and sleeves that fall from my wrists to the floor. _How do I not remember those sleeves?_

"This is the dress the people chose, even after the Quell was announced. President Snow completely ignored our objections to it." I run the silk between my fingers slowly.

"It'd be a shame to waste such a pretty dress." It's all I can muster. The situation just keeps getting worse and worse. My pain, loss, and humiliation must be put on full display.

Cinna helps me into the dress, but it barely fits. I look at myself in the mirror and am horrified to find that my stomach is completely visible in the dress. I feel the heat rushing to my face, and my eyes dart quickly to Cinna. He looks the dress up and down, and then turns to a kit he has with him. I watch intensely, wondering if he notices at all_. Surely he will do something!_

I feel slightly panicky. But to my relief, Cinna turns around with a spool of thread and a needle in his hand. "Don't worry, I came prepared. Turn to the side."

Relief seeped into every pore. One tear escapes and runs down my face. I don't know what to say. I just watch as he expertly maneuvers the seam of my dress. When he is finished, you can't tell at all. I smile softly and turn to him.

"I had to make some changes for lighting as well." I nod, not really knowing what that means. I want to say something, but I can't seem to speak. There is a knot forming in my throat. Cinna gives me a quick hug, almost as if he knows what I am feeling.

"You look ravishing." I finally work up enough of my voice to respond.

"Thank you. Will I be twirling again?" I ask, thinking of my interview from last year.

"Caesar will ask, I'm sure, but suggest it if he doesn't. That should be your big finale. Just don't raise your arms above your head until you twirl."

"You give me a signal." I will forget. I'm horrible with crowds.

"I can do that. Do you have any plans for the interview? I know that Haymitch didn't really coach you two this year."

"No, I'm winging it. But the funny thing is I'm not even nervous." All of that is true. The only thing I feel in regards to the interview is that I wish that I didn't have to do it.

After I am completely ready, I meet up with Peeta, Haymitch, Effie, and Portia in the elevator. I immediately notice that Peeta is wearing a groom's tuxedo and white gloves. _A real Capitol wedding_…All of the splendor that has went into our outfits alone, real wedding or not, is purely ridiculous. Celebration in the Seam is very simple and costs next to nothing. Frankly, because we have next to nothing.

When we arrive, Peeta and I notice everyone's glares at my dress. I am taken aback by the reaction. Peeta grabs my hand and leans next to my ear. "They are stunned by how beautiful you look."

I shake my head and whisper back at Peeta. "No, they are mad. They know how caught up the crowd is in our relationship. The dress will sway them immensely." _I never thought in a million years that I would be a part of anything that was so deeply rooted in the minds of the Capitol's population._

I almost rest my hand on my swollen abdomen, something that has become a nervous habit lately, but stop myself. _The last thing I need is that on display._

We all take our places on stage and the interviews begin. With each tribute, the feelings of betrayal become more and more evident. Some play on the emotion of the crowd by hinting that they will soon lose us, some ask if anything can be done. It is really very powerful, but unfortunately ineffective in getting us out of the Quell. President Snow would never back down now.

By the time my interview comes around, most everyone is emotionally distraught, some even weep. When they focus their complete attention on me and they all take in my dress, instantaneous rage seeps from every being in the room. Caesar struggles to quiet them, and I wonder for a moment why the Capitol couldn't have risen earlier to put a stop to this. Surely they could have done something to turn this around. Did it really take me in a wedding dress, the realization that there would be no more star-crossed lovers, no more wedding to incite a reaction from the people? Then I realize that crossing Snow never even occurs to them. That thought seems to sober me just a little.

My three minutes slowly tick by as they continue to scream. Finally, the roar quiets enough for Caesar to direct his attention to me. "So, Katniss, obviously this is a very emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

I feel my voice waver as I speak. "Only that I'm so sorry you won't get to be at my wedding…but I'm glad you at least got to seem me in my dress. Isn't it just…the most beautiful thing?" I don't even have to look at Cinna to know that this moment couldn't have been made to fit any better. I raise my arms and begin to twirl for the audience.

The audience begins to scream. I assume it is their reaction to the dress, but I then notice that I am engulfed in flames. I begin to panic as the smoke thickens around me. _I'm on fire!_ Who would have ever thought that I would die before I even got into the arena. Silk begins to fall away in charred pieces and pearls fall to the stage. My fears are dispelled when I realize that my flesh is not burning. _Cinna must be behind this._ I smile and continue to turn, knowing that Cinna has done it again.

I slowly stop and wonder what I must look like. _Am I wearing clothes at all? _I catch myself on the television screen above the stage and see that I am completely clothed in black and I appear to have wings. Cinna has turned me into the mockingjay.

Caesar, in all of his professional glory, gives a slight smile, touching my veil that is now black. "Feathers, like a bird."

"A mockingjay, I think. Like the token that I wear."

I know that he realizes that my pin has become much more than a token. Surely he knows of the spreading rebellion. He does not let this fracture his TV mask even for a second. "Well, that was truly spectacular. Cinna, take a bow."

He stands, taking a small bow. And I realize that he has done something horribly dangerous. An act of rebellion, and all for me. The interview ends, and I am so thankful. There is no physical way that I could utter another word.

Peeta stands to take his turn. He is calm, charming, and natural as always, something I will never be. I have to have manufactured things to make the audience love me, such as least year's lover theme or my burning dress. Peeta just has a natural ability to make people love him.

Caesar goes about the interview as if nothing unordinary happened in mine. Peeta answers in the same fashion. I wonder what this does to the audience's nerves, this sudden comedown from their recent fit of outrage. Then it all starts to change.

"Caesar, do you think that all of our friends here can keep a secret?" An uncomfortable laugh emanates from the crowd. My mind goes numb. _What is he talking about?_

"We're already married." I immediately bury my face to hide the look of sheer confusion. _He's doing it again. How much more attached could the audience become? Why is he doing this?_

"But…how can that be?" asks Caesar, clearly interested.

"It's not official. Just something small like we do in District 12." He describes the toasting in detail, painting it to be romantic and sweet. "We didn't tell anyone, not even our families. It's been our secret until now."

"This was before the Quell?" says Caesar.

"Oh, of course, we would have never done it if we had known." Peeta is beginning to get upset, and not even I can tell if it's fake or not. "Who could have ever seen this coming? Definitely not us. We made it through the Games, together. We conquered the impossible. We assumed that we would just grow old together, and then this. Who could have anticipated it?" Looks of anguish cross every face in the crowd, the story is really getting to them.

"At least you had a few months of happiness." Caesar put his arm around Peeta. "I really am glad that you at least got that."

The audience burst into applause. I fully lift my head from my skirts for the first time, revealing my tragic smile of thanks. Tears are forming in my eyes, adding the perfect touch. They are from the smoke, but the source does not really matter.

I do well in these scripted situations for some reason, even if I don't know that they are coming.

Peeta breaks the emotional moment in a way that surprises everyone, even me. "I'm not." The crowd falls completely silent. Caesar removes his arm. _Why is he breaking this moment? _Everything he is doing is baffling me. I feel a tiny surge of anger. I hate that I always go in blind-sided.

"Surely that even for the brief time that you had one another is better than nothing at all?" Caesar remarks.

"That would be my normal thought under other circumstances, Caesar," says Peeta bitterly, "if it weren't for the baby."

It as if all of the air is sucked from the room. _He has done it again. _My hand flutters unconsciously to my stomach, drawing even more attention to it and revealing its roundness. I hear a few sobs leap from the crowd, and real tears stream down my face. I can't decide if they are from anger, betrayal, or real sadness over my situation.

After the initial shock passes, the audience becomes a heap of emotion. Anger, hysteria, and pure sadness overtake them. Caesar is powerless.

The camera is closed tight onto my face, but I don't let it phase me. It doesn't matter what the audience sees at this point. They all know.

Peeta nods his goodbye and turns to me. Tears are streaming down his face, and I realize that we are now living every parent's fear—losing their child. Every man and woman in the districts knows this fear. Peeta has given us a universal link to every person in the nation.

He grabs my hand and I stand and lean into his chest. As if scripted, every competitor begins to rise and lock hands. Chaff reaches over and I take his good hand. We form a chain, a chain of unity and resistance. The crowd goes nuts. We are taking them on a huge emotional roller coaster.

The lights on the stage begin to flicker and the arena is cleared out immediately. We make our exits slowly, and only after the majority of the audience have left. I feel as if I am walking underwater. Thankfully, Peeta leads me. I could have never anticipated this. He leads me to the nearest available elevator. Johanna and Finnick try to ride up with us, but a Peacekeeper blocks them. We ride in silence, me putting almost all of my weight against his body. I feel numb. I need time to sort this all out. I can only think of one thing. _They all know._

**Alright, so that was pretty long, too. I hope that you liked it! I worked hard on it.**

**Before I end this, I would like to answer a question that I feel deserves an answer.**

**In a review, I was asked how many chapters I anticipated. I don't really have a set number of chapters in mind, but I will write until I feel like the story has come to an end, unless of course everyone stops reading or liking my work. Then I will stop.**

**On a side note, just out of curiosity I would like to know what everyone's favorite quote of the story so far is. So if you would like to review and let me know what line or maybe a list of quotes or even a scene has been your favorite, please do so. :)**


	14. On the Night before My Death

**Thanks again for all of the reviews! I loved hearing about everyone's opinion. I even got to hear from a few that I had never heard from before. I appreciate it greatly. And if you want to continue telling me little parts that stick out to you, I wouldn't mind at all. :)**

**Here is the next chapter. I hope that everyone likes it. We are getting closer and closer to the Quell. Prepare yourselves. Happy reading!**

Chapter 14

"On the Night before My Death…"

Haymitch pounces on us as soon as Peeta and I step off of the elevator. "It's crazy out there. They've even cancelled the recap of the interviews," he says.

Peeta and I make our way to the window. The streets are full of Capitol people, and none look very happy. Peeta stares intently. "Are they trying to stop the Games, or what's the purpose?"

Haymitch shakes his head. "I don't even think they know. They are just mad."

I turn from the window, not wanting to see anymore. I know that they don't know how to oppose the Capitol, but I wish that something could be done.

"There's no way that Snow could stop the Quell now, anyways," Peeta says as he reaches for my hand. I turn before he can fully grasp it and head for my bedroom. I need time to think and process what is going on. Peeta follows after he bids Haymitch a good night, catching up to me in front of my bedroom door.

"Hey, I think we should talk." He takes my arms, as if to center my focus on him. "Katniss, I need to know if you are mad at me. I really am sorry about how all of this played out."

I shake my head. "No, I'm not mad. I'm not…I'm just…I don't know. I feel like I should be mad at you, but I'm not. I guess, I just wish that you would have talked to me about it. It's _my body_, and _our_ baby." I look down at the ground and feel tears welling up in my eyes. _Stupid hormones._

He places his hand underneath my chin and gently lifts my head. "Katniss, I couldn't tell you. I knew that you wouldn't approve. It was wrong, but I think it might help us overall."

"I know, and I'm sure it will. I just hate going in blind-sided. I'm not mad, though. I promise." I lean in and kiss him lightly. The tears begin to spill now. He kisses my forehead and eases his hands into the hair behind my ears. It's somehow peaceful. He breaks the moment by reaching to open my bedroom door.

We move inside. "Why don't you go take a shower? It might make you feel better," he says softly, almost as if I were a child

I move to the bathroom, removing my charred dress. I step into the shower. The hot water feels incredible. It washes away my make-up, my pain, and my fears. I feel like me again. I lean against the wall and close my eyes. Suddenly, I am not here. I am at home in the Seam, not Victor's Village. I have never competed in the Games, and have never taken anyone's life for any reason. It feels perfect, like it could be real for a moment, but only a moment.

A fluttering sensation occurs in my abdomen, startling me out of my imagining. My hand flies to my stomach, and my head seems to be spinning. _The first time it's moved._ I feel like I should be excited, or something. But really, I feel nothing. I care about the baby, but I still don't feel like I love the baby. _What is wrong with me?_

I step out of the shower, not wanting to think anymore. I look in the mirror and see the slight swell of my stomach. It's really odd to see myself pregnant. I had never given it much thought. Prim would pretend to have babies and care for them with the dolls that my mother would make her, but I never thought about having children. As I got older, I decided that I didn't want them because of the Games, but that has changed of course. _Maybe that's why I don't feel like I love it. It's happening. I'm losing my child to the Games…tomorrow. Sacrificed for cheap Capitol entertainment._

I turn from the mirror, but realize that they will not be entertained. They are furious. _Maybe my death will start a rebellion._ I shake the thought away. No one would rebel in the Capitol. They are too obedient.

I dress in my pajamas and move to the bed. Peeta is lying on the left side asleep. His hair is wet. _He must have taken a shower._ I move in next to him and curl into his body. He stirs slightly. "Feel better?"

"A little," I respond weakly. I am sick of talking and thinking today. I don't want to turn in so early on my last night alive, but I'm not sure that I can fight sleep any longer. The stress of today has been intense.

"Good," he says against the top of my head. He kisses my hair and then falls asleep. I snuggle in as close as I can get, positioning my head right over his heart and find sleep with no problems.

**Alright, so I know that it's short but I didn't have a whole lot of time to work on it this weekend. I've had a lot going on. So I apologize, and I hope you aren't too upset. I feel like it sets up Katniss' emotions thus far, and that needed to be done. Next chapter will be more exciting. Hope to hear from you. :) Thanks for reading, as always!**


	15. This Is No Place For a Girl on Fire

**Ok, so I am terribly sorry for that last chapter! It was pitifully short, but I knew that things were going to be crazy for the next few days (and they have been) and I wanted to at least give you all something. I hope that you liked it, it seems like you did. I felt like it gave them on last night of peace, if anything. Who knows what the future will bring… :) You will all have to read to find out! Happy reading!**

Chapter 15

"This Is No Place for a Girl on Fire"

Peeta turns over in his sleep, moving his arm from beneath my head. It wakes me unfortunately. That was easily the most peaceful sleep since I found out that I was pregnant. I look around the room, realizing it is still dark outside. I miss the warmth of Peeta's body. I find that I feel cold if he is not pressed up against my side at night. I snuggle my body against his, willing my self back to sleep.

Sleep came, but nothing like the sleep I was in before. It wasn't long before I found myself in the fog once more. As usual, I walk around until I hear the little girl's voice. I turn and try to find her. The trees remain dark shapes moving around me as I walk in the direction of the small voice. The lack of color and light seems to be messing with my head. _I could be going in circles._

I stop, the voice is gone. I strain to hear it. I keep walking, but slowly. The crunch of leaves underneath my feet is barely audible. _Maybe I'm walking in the wrong direction. _I turn around, but find nothing. "Hello?" I scream out. I need to find the little girl. I can't explain it.

"I'm lost," the tiny voice screams out, echoing out across the expanse. I know that I shouldn't call back. This could all be a set-up, but I ignore that thought. "Where are you?" I call out. I stop moving, listening for any kind of movement.

"Over here." That of course, means nothing. Everything looks the same. "Please help, me," the voice says.

"I'm trying. Just stand still." The little girl begins to cry, making me search even harder. I wove in and out of trees, getting closer and closer to the voice. I am at a full run now; as if the little girl will evaporate if I do not get to her in just a few moments.

I see her, sitting against a tree in a huddled mass. She is not far at all. _She actually exists._ I run to her. She hears me and looks in my direction. "I'm here, its ok now."

I bend down, eye level with her now. It's hard to make out any of her features in the darkness, but she is tiny, probably around three years old. "You left me," she squeaks out through her tears.

I don't know what to say. I have never seen this little girl before. "I'm sorry. I was trying to find you, though." Her bottom lip pokes out and fresh tears pour from her eyes once more. "I was really scared."

That statement breaks my heart. _This poor little girl is lost. Where are her parents? _"I was scared, too," I say honestly. Everything's ok now. You can come with me." I reach out my hand to help her up, but she falls into my arms. I brush my fingers through her hair and shush her like my mother used to when Prim and I were little and upset.

She calms just a little bit, but is still upset. _I would be shaken too if my parents left me in this dark forest. _I stood, lifting her up with me. Her head slumped onto my shoulder, her tears making my shoulder warm and her tiny breath tickling my neck. "I'm going to get you home, ok?" She nods against my shoulder.

I walk, not sure where to go. I find myself out of the fog after only a few moments. Then I see it. About fifteen yards in front of me is the headstone. I want to walk towards it, but stop as another figure makes it way to it. _It's Peeta._ I run towards him. "Peeta!" I call out. I know that he will help me get this little girl home.

He acts as if he cannot hear me. "Peeta!" I yell again. Nothing. He bends down in front of the tiny stone and begins to cry. I bend down next to him. _He doesn't even know I'm here_. I try to touch him, but he can't feel me. "It's me, Peeta. Look at me!"

Still nothing. I put the little girl down on the ground and continue my efforts. "Peeta!" He continues to weep, breaking my heart. Tears begin to roll down my cheeks. "What is wrong with you? Why can't you hear me?" The little girl begins tugging on my shirt. I ignore her. I need to know what's going on with Peeta.

"Daddy can't hear you. Remember?" I stop and stare at her for a moment. I can see her now that the fog has cleared. Her eyes are the same color blue, but she has dark skin and dark hair. She doesn't really look like him. "This is your father?" I ask confused.

"Don't be silly. You know that's Daddy," she says and lets out a small giggle. I squint my eyes in confusion. I see it now. The way she laughs, and the shape of her face. _She is Peeta's daughter._

"Why can't he hear me?" She shrugs her tiny little shoulders. "I don't know. You always tell me that he can't hear us."

"_I_ always tell you?" _How is that possible? I've never met this child before._

"Now you really are being silly, Mommy." She laughs and gives me a hug. "'We only watch Daddy. Daddy, can't see us baby.' That's what you always tell me." She was clearly quoting me, her tiny body attempting to mimic my body language.

The air seemed to be sucked out of me. _How is this possible?_ I leaned in closer to Peeta. It was true, he had no idea that we were there. More tears streamed down my face. I wanted Peeta to hold me. I looked at the headstone, realizing that there were two names on it. _Baby Girl Mellark and… _"There's no way."

The little girl maneuvers herself between me and the gravestone. She points to it and smiles brightly. "It's me and you, Mommy." I jump backwards. She's right. Katniss Everdeen Mellark sits right above the unnamed child, my unnamed child. My gaze falls on the little girl before me. _We're dead._

It all makes sense. Peeta can't hear me, he can't see me, it's because I'm dead. And the little girl is mine and Peeta's. I study her face again. _She looks like me._ I don't know what to do. I want to run. But all I can do is call for Peeta once more. I begin to scream his name, making the little girl cry. "Peeta! Please, I'm right here." I claw at his back, but he feels nothing. "I'm right here!"

"Katniss, wake up!" My eyes pop open and I grab him. "Peeta!"

He pulls me close and kisses my cheek. "It's ok." I am shaking, but I am just glad that he can see me now. I don't want to tell him about my dream. I don't want him to know. I'm so glad that he couldn't see our daughter.

_It was just a dream._ I try to shake her from my head. _My plans cannot change. I need to protect Peeta. _"I'm ok, now," I tell him with a smile. He nods and leans us back onto the pillows. He is clearly still tired. He drifts off, and I remain awake in his arms.

There is no way that I could go back to sleep. I don't want to see the little girl again. I watch as the night dissolves into a million beautiful colors. I look up at him, sleeping peacefully. I want to touch his face, to feel its warmth, but I resist. _He needs to sleep._ I ease out of bed as silently as possible. I go to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I step inside and put my head against the wall. _I always end up here_. The thought kind of makes me laugh.

I just need to relax. I begin thinking of home. That always relaxes me. I think of my woods, Prim, my father…I wonder what he would think of all of this. How would he react to me in the Hunger Games, or being pregnant? I had never thought of that before. Gale didn't take it well; maybe he would have reacted like him. Doubtful though, my father was not a violent man.

Gale really didn't take it well. I can't think of the good times without thinking of Gale. I used to think that the good times were the time before my father died, but I was wrong. The good times constitutes as any time before the Games, before now. Gale supported me through a hard time, we supported each other. _Just like he is supporting me now. _I know without a doubt that Gale, no matter how angry, would still do anything for my family or me.

I hadn't thought about Gale, not really, in a long time. Being pregnant with Peeta's baby and the Quell turned my focus elsewhere, but I would like to be able to sort out my feelings before I die. I've turned to Peeta more lately. We are going through the same thing. He understands me, but do I love him?

I think of all of the nights we've spent together, all of the talks we've shared, and how safe I feel when he holds me, but I don't know if that constitutes love. Gale has always just been there. I don't know if that means I love him either. My head was starting to pound. But for some reason that I couldn't shake, I just wanted to hug Gale. I turned off the water and snuck back into the bedroom. Cinna and Portia were there waiting for me, and my heart sunk.

"I wasn't expecting you so early," I said pulling my robe around me tighter. They smiled softly, showing how much they wished they could be anywhere else in the world. I walked over to Peeta and shook him gently. "Peeta, it's time to wake up."

He opened his eyes, startled by my damp hair and robe. "Portia is here." He looked over at them and groaned slightly. I pushed his hair back slightly and smiled at how disheveled he looked. I wondered for a moment if our child would have looked like that, so disoriented in the morning. _Where did that come from?_

I kiss his cheek softly. Peeta turns to Cinna and Portia and asks for a moment alone. They leave respectfully. "I just want to tell you how much I love you." I smile and kiss his lips. I feel his fingers intertwine between my wet strands of dark hair, pulling me closer. He flips me onto the bed and holds me for a moment. "I need you to know that I am going to do anything necessary to protect you two." He moves his hand across the swell of my stomach and kisses me once more. He slides his ears next to my ear slowly. "It's going to be ok."

A tear threatens to fall. I do not protest. He can't know what I am planning. I simply nod and kiss his once more. I don't want to leave him, but I know that it's time. I stand up and open the door, letting Cinna and Portia in. Peeta walks out of the room, kissing my cheek as he leaves. "See you soon," he says. "See you soon," I somehow manage.

Cinna walks in and takes my hand. He leads me to the roof. We board the hovercraft. I continually sip water, knowing how crucial it will be soon. Nerves are making me a little on edge. They insert the dreaded tracker into my arm, and Cinna and I head to the Launch Room.

He braids my damp hair into my signature braid and helps me into this years tribute outfit. It is blue and tight fitting, making it easy to see my slight baby bump. I'm a little insecure about it. There is a six inch padded belt of purple plastic around my waist. "What do you think?"

Cinna hands me a pair of nylon shoes with rubber soles and shakes his head. "The material is thin. It won't help much in water or cold."

"Sun?" _Maybe they are dropping us in the desert. They'll watch us all dehydrate. The girl on fire…oh, that could be a sick possibility._

"Oh, your pin," Cinna says. "I almost forgot." He pins it carefully onto my suit.

I feel like I should say something more. We both know I'm about to die. It's hard to find the right words.

"I loved the dress last night. It was beyond words." I smile, knowing that he deserves more praise than I can ever possibly give him. The dress will most likely make him more famous than he already is.

"I thought you would like that." We have run out of words. There is nothing more to say. So we sit down, holding hands until I am to be elevated into the arena once more. A voice comes over the intercom, letting me know that it is time. He escorts me to circular metal plate and checks my suit once more.

"Remember, I'm still betting for you…my girl on fire." He kisses my forehead and steps back, allowing the glass to close around me. I smile back, and wait for it to move.

But it doesn't. Nothing happens. I look at Cinna in confusion. _Maybe it's broken._ But then I see it. Three Peacekeepers come in, beating Cinna. He lay on the ground, blood gushing from a wound in his head. I beat on the glass, screaming, trying to get out to help him. My efforts are futile. I know that he is dead as I begin to rise into the arena. I pull myself together, just in time for the signal. I am shaking. But then I realize that this is nothing like I expected. I look down only to find water lapping at my feet. _This is no place for a girl on fire._

**Well, there you go! I hope that this chapter makes up for the previously crappy one and few days delay. I like it so far. But let me know what you think :)**

**And again, I really enjoyed hearing everyone's favorite quotes and scenes. It gives me a better understanding of how I should continue writing. I love hearing from everyone. Thanks for reading!**


	16. The Most Beautiful Sound

**I know you have all been waiting for the update, so I will hurry. Sparknotes version of the past few days of my life: friend and cousin in hospital (they're ok now), a research paper to write, about twenty-eight hours at work, and to top it all off, I found out that I now have strep throat. :) I haven't exactly had time to even touch my computer for recreational purposes. Luckily, everything has calmed down and I have time to get right to the Quell.**

**Happy reading!**

Chapter 16

"The Most Beautiful Sound"

_Water._ Everywhere I look there is water. The other tributes are in the same state that I am, panic and fear. I don't let those feelings get to me. I have to be strong, for Cinna, and for Peeta. Not many tributes can actually swim. Most will be killed before they even reach land. You either came into the arena knowing how to swim, or your geographic location within Panem will lead to your demise. I think of my swimming hole in District 12 and feel immediately grateful that I had access to some larger form of water. All that time I spent with my father learning how to swim. Who would have guessed that it would be keeping me alive in my second Hunger Games? Not me, and certainly not my father. _I have the upper-hand._

My eyes scan as fast as they can, taking in my surroundings. Ten to twelve strips of land expel from the Cornucopia: my target. _Peeta_, _I need to find Peeta. _I can't see him, of course. There is no doubt that the Gamemakers designed the arena this way. All thoughts leave my mind. I have to get off of this metal plate._ I'll have a huge advantage if I can only get there first._

I dive into the water, immediately realizing that I have not been swimming since I've been pregnant. I bob under the water for a moment until I adjust. As soon as I get myself together, I swim as fast as I can. The salt water makes it a little easier for me to navigate, even though the wakes are quite strong. The distance is definitely a lot longer than I am used to. My arms ache, but I push forward. _I can't drown. I have to get to Peeta._

I reach land and sprint to the weapons that are piled in the center. The gold horn blocks my view, but I can't see anyone just yet. My eyes focus in on a golden bow, and I grab it just as someone comes behind me. In a matter of moments, I have a bow unsheathed, cocked, and poised right at Finnick's head. I look for weapons, noticing the trident in his hands.

"You must swim like a fish to have beaten me. Where did you learn that in District 12?" he says, white teeth gleaming like every inch of his body.

_They had to have engineered the arena with Finnick in mind. They know how people react to him._ "We have big bathtubs," I say debating whether to release the arrow or not.

"I would love to see those. You can swim and shoot. Lucky we're allies."

_It must be a trap. It must be. _There could be no other explanation. What could I possibly offer him? The trident in his hands gleams in the sun, but that is not what catches my eye. It's what's on his wrist that lets me know that he is on my side. He is wearing the solid-gold bangle patterned with flames that Haymitch was wearing. _He's done it again. _I knew that this was a direct order from Haymitch to become allies with Finnick, no matter how much I disliked the idea.

I lowered my bow. "Right."

_Why didn't he tell me before? _Haymitch and Peeta both were always sending me in blind-sided. The sound of footsteps alerted Finnick and I of our next opponent to reach land.

"Duck," he yelled. I obey. The man from District 5 hits the sand almost as quickly as he approached us. Finnick frees his trident from his chest. "Don't trust One and Two. They're coming."

"I'll take the right, you take the left," I scream back at him as I pull myself from the sand. We scan the pile quickly. Enobaria and Gloss are almost to land.

"There's nothing but weapons!" I scream loudly.

"Take what you want and let's go," he yells. I can hear him collecting a few things on the other side of the pile.

I shoot an arrow at Enobaria, but she dodges it by diving back into the water. Gloss, not nearly as lucky or fast, does not escape my arrow. It sinks into his calf. I turn back to the pile, grabbing a second sheath of arrows, an awl, and two long knives. I sprint to meet Finnick in front of the pile, adrenaline coursing hard through my body. I still see no sign of Peeta.

Brutus is running towards us now, using his belt as a shield. I sink an arrow directly into it, spewing a purple liquid on his face. The clanging of metal behind us alerts us to the Career's. _They've made it to the pile. _If I was only considering my safety, I would turn around and fight the Career's, but I need to find Peeta. I look out and see him in the water, obviously struggling.

I take off towards him, but Finnick stops me. "I'll get him, Katniss."

I immediately protest. All I can see is Finnick drowning Peeta. "No, I can do it," I shoot back at him.

"Not in your condition. Save your energy." He takes off to the water, patting my stomach as he passes me.

A part of me wants to be furious. Being pregnant does not make me incapable, but I know that he is right. He dives into the water flawlessly. _No way was this not engineered for him. I bet the Capitol is eating this up._

I search for an impending threat. No one has made it to land other than the Career's yet. Gloss, Cashmere, Enobaria, and Brutus are busy congregating near the weapons pile, not worried at all about me or Finnick.

I turn back to Peeta. Finnick is hauling him in with no trouble. _Maybe Peeta knew about the alliance._ I help haul Peeta onto dry land. We kiss and he smiles at me. "We have allies," he says, his eyes dancing at my reaction.

I smile back, so happy to see him alive. "I know. Haymitch always gets his way."

We kiss once more. I notice that Finnick is scanning the water intensely. "What is it, Finnick?" I ask.

"Mags…I see her. I can't leave her." He leaps back into the water. He reaches Mags in no time. She is floating in the water somehow.

Peeta and I pull Mags onto the sand and notice that her belt is inflated.

"Her belt is a safety device. I didn't think of that," I say in awe. I knew I liked Mags from the beginning.

"I wish I would have. I looked ridiculous out there." Peeta remarked with a good natured laugh. Mags gives him a toothless grin in response.

"We need to get going," Finnick says as he gathers his things. I want to ask him to retrieve Beetee and Wiress, but I don't know how far our alliance reaches. _He could kill them as quickly as he did the man from District 5._ I don't want to be responsible for their deaths.

I hand the awl to Mags. She places it between her gums and reaches up to Finnick. He places her on his back and we run from the Cornucopia as fast as we can. Adrenaline is still coursing through me, making my cheeks pulse. I feel like I can take on every tribute at this point in the Games. _I need to calm down; I have to stay alive for Peeta. No need to be reckless._

We reach the tree line, immediately noticing that we are in foreign territory. This was not woods like at home or even in the last Hunger Games. We are in the jungle. _I know nothing about the jungle._ Fear hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment. I swallow it down, and keep moving. We need as much distance from the Cornucopia and the Career's as possible.

Peeta takes the lead. Finnick follows with Mags on his back. The water evaporates, but a layer of sweat immediately takes its place. It feels like I'm drowning and getting heavier by the second. We move as far into the dense foliage as we can. Finnick is the one who asks for a rest.

"I'm going to climb up and scout out the arena," I say, already finding the perfect tree to climb.

"Katniss, I don't think that's a good idea." Peeta says and walks towards me.

"What? Why not?" I ask, very irritated.

"I don't know, you could fall and kill you or the baby or both." Peeta says sarcastically through gritted teeth. I knew that he was equally as irritated at my blatant recklessness. That only fueled my fire.

"Well, no one else can climb and we need to see what's ahead of us."

He's about to open his mouth in protest, but I cut him off.

"I'm doing this." I begin to climb defiantly. I reach the top, and immediately regret my decision. I can see the Cornucopia in plain view. Bodies are strewn throughout the water, blood pouring all around them. They are too far away. All I can make out is their suits, lifeless on the ground. Some are still fighting. _They are friends. _I am not naïve, I knew that the linking of hands would mean nothing in the arena; I just could never imagine such hostility among friends. _Nothing like this._ My stomach lurches a little, and I climb back down the tree.

"I don't know who all is dead, but a lot didn't make it out. Some are still fighting," I squeak out. I know that the color must be washed from my face.

Peeta places his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple. "We're going to be ok." I nod, wishing for different circumstances.

"Whatever happened in the past is in the past. No one is going to take a vow of nonviolence because we are friends. No one in this arena was a victor by chance," Finnick says, as if he knows what I experienced up there.

I understand now. _He knows. Finnick knows that Peeta is better than us_. I thought back to the Cornucopia. Finnick took down the tribute from 5 without hesitation. I targeted the Career's in the same manner. I turned violent the moment the gong echoed out over the waves. But maybe those feelings always live inside of me—in the arena or not. Peeta is nothing like that. He would have attempted negotiations or something first, an alliance maybe. _Just like in our first Games._

I place my hand on my stomach and rub it gently. _I'm sorry._ _Poor thing has me for a mother. Peeta should be with anyone but me. I'm just like everyone else in this arena._ _It might have had a chance had it not had me as a mother._

I stare at Finnick for a moment. I tighten my grip on my bow, ready to take action if needed. He seems to be assessing the situation. Peeta moves in front of me, blocking any attack I could possibly contemplate. _Move, Peeta!_

"How many do you think are left? Just a guess?" Finnick asks, staring at me intensely.

I clench my teeth, preparing myself for whatever might happen. "If I had to guess, I would say six." Peeta does not budge. I try to shift to get a shot if necessary, but Peeta seems to know exactly what I'm doing.

"We should probably move on. We need to find freshwater." Finnick says, almost with a smile.

I think of the last Games and how I nearly dehydrated. _I really need water_. Our chances were better with Finnick. I released my death grip on my weapon and nodded. We will stay with him as long as necessary, then we'll break off. He has been helpful so far, and tonight will be difficult. We'll move on as allies.

_I can always kill him in his sleep. _

We trudge slowly, still finding no water. My mouth begins to feel dry. I wonder what dehydration would do to the baby. _Is worrying about the baby worth it?_ Neither of us will make it out.

I place my arm around my abdomen, hugging it almost. I feel a tinge of sadness at the thought.

My present thoughts keep me from realizing our first wave of danger. Peeta's knife swings right into the force field in front of us, throwing him back onto the ground. I would have seen the threat had I not been lost in my own mind.

Peeta lies motionless, and I drop beside him. "Peeta!" I shake him, but he doesn't respond. I place my head over his heart, and find silence. My spot, my source of comfort no longer exists.

I fling into a panic. I call his name and tears begin to stream down my cheek. Finnick places Mags against a tree and rushes to Peeta's side. Finnick pushes me aside, knocking the wind from me. I sit, trying to regain composure as I watch the scene before me.

Finnick begins to blow air into Peeta's mouth, making his chest rise and fall as if he were back to me again. Finnick begins to press on Peeta's stomach, finding a rhythm, alternating between breathing and pushing against his chest. I scoot next to Peeta, watching for progress.

"No, Peeta. You have to live. You have to! It's what has to happen!" I begin to cry, knowing that he is gone.

Finnick is ignoring me completely. He is in another world, concentrating on bringing Peeta back. Just when I had given up hope, Peeta began to cough, his eyes fluttering open. I smile, tears still flowing like rivers down my cheeks.

"I think we've found the water." He says with a slight smile.

I laugh and kiss his cheek multiple times, making sure that he is real. I place my hand on his heart and feel it beating once more. Relief is immediate.

"There is a force field ahead, watch out." Peeta's eyes brighten and I can't believe that I almost lost him. "It's definitely stronger than the one on the roof of the Training Center." He wipes my tears. "Katniss, I'm ok now. Really, I am."

"No…you…your heart stopped. You were dead."

I cover my mouth, coughing and choking. I realize that I am sobbing, something I've experienced more in the past four months than any other time in my life.

"It's alright, Katniss. It's beating now. I'm not going to leave you."

Now he's worried about me. _He really is better than anyone here._

"It's just her hormones," Finnick says.

I go to shake my head, but my body is racked by another round of sobs, only proving his statement. He saved Peeta, and I couldn't. Without him, Peeta would be gone. I should feel grateful, and I do, but more importantly I feel indebted. He saved Peeta, How can I kill him now? And he's right. My hormones are getting to me. I need to work around them or I will never be able to protect Peeta. He almost died because I was off in space. I could have warned him about the force field.

I look at Finnick. He saved Peeta. Haymitch must be holding up his end of the bargain. Finnick is here to help me make sure that Peeta is the victor. _We will make sure Peeta gets out alive. We will._ I place my head over Peeta's heart and try to stop crying. He rubs my back lightly and I listen to the sound of his heartbeat, still the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I know that I can never let that sound die out again. Never.

**Ok, so I hope that you like what I have so far. I haven't changed a whole lot from the Quell just yet. Her thoughts and a few actions have been different so far. But tell me what you think. You know I love compliments and criticism. :)**

**And thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! Almost to 200! I never would have guess that when I started this fic. So thank you, it would be nothing without all of you fantastic people!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	17. Peeta Could Be Anywhere

**Ok, so I have really been thinking about the direction that I will take this, and I think that I know now. Thank you so much for your feedback! It really helped. I love that you all have stuck through even though I haven't been terribly devoted as of late. Thank you to everyone, I seriously love you all.**

**Now I will shut up, I know what you all really want. Without further delay…here it is. Let me know what you think. :) Happy reading!**

Chapter 17

"Peeta Could Be Anywhere"

A whirring sound is the very last thing that I remember. I do not remember any voice; I do not remember any pain…only darkness and that strange whirring sound. I just know that I am dead. The sound had to be the aircraft picking up my dead body—there is no other explanation.

I believe this to be true until a pair of cold hands begin feeling my ribs. _Maybe I'm not dead._ I try to open my eyes, but they feel glued shut. I open my mouth to say something, but a raspy catch in my throat is the only sound emitted. I should be alert, I should be reacting to the situation, but a thick fog seems to hover above me. I can't even lift my finger. Faintly I hear someone saying my name, but I only lie still in hopes that they will go away.

Eventually he or she leaves. I begin to focus intensely on my eyes. I need to know where I am. I can tell my other senses are dulled for some reason as well, but I do know that I am not outside. There is no way. After a few minutes, I finally get my eyes to open. I take in the starch whiteness of everything around me. _I'm in the hospital_. _How did I get here? I was just in the Games with Peeta…Peeta! Finnick had just saved him. That's the last thing that I remember for some strange reason._

I kept recounting that idea over and over in my head. Why can't I remember anything else? I look down at my right arm and notice an IV tube. _What's wrong with me? _I move my eyes to the other side of the room, but immediately notice my stomach. I was so much bigger than I remember! _How long have I been out? How pregnant am I?_

A part of me wanted to touch it, but I couldn't make my hands move. I must be on some sort of pain medication for some reason. That would explain my current state. I hear someone coming back in, so I quickly shut my eyes. I don't know why I'm here. I would like to try to gather information about everything before I show whoever is holding me here that I am actually alive…or whatever.

Another cold pair of hands, or the same ones I don't know, begins to feel my rib cage again. This time the pair of hands runs over my stomach, tapping and pressing down lightly in certain spots. The baby kicks hard in response, making me gasp. I've never felt a kick that strong before. He or she also gasps and leaves the room. I open my eyes and catch the back of a female nurse exiting quite hastily. She is back in no time with someone else in tow.

"She's awake. She gasped and earlier she made a little noise," the nurse said nervously.

"Alright, alright, let me look," a man's voice replied. He began checking my pulse and feeling my forehead. "Ms. Everdeen, can you hear me?"

I didn't know whether or not to respond. I still didn't know if I was in any danger at all. I focused on keeping my eyelids from fluttering, careful not to give myself away. But then the man pinched my arm, causing me to jump as much as I could and make a strangled sort of noise. _Dammit._

"Katniss, talk to us if you can. Can you open your eyes?" the man said.

I lay still, even though it really was too late.

"Go fetch Haymitch. He will want to know that she is responsive," the man told the nurse.

I open my eyes suddenly. I know that I will be ok if Haymitch is here. I take in the man hovering above me. He is in a white lab coat. Everything isn't exactly clear just yet. I know that there is black writing, but I can't read it. He has sandy colored hair, and he seems to be filled with equal parts of astonishment and concern.

"We weren't sure you were going to wake-up, Ms. Everdeen. Glad you're with us."

I stared at him, wishing I could recall anything except my last image of Peeta. Haymitch half walked-ran into the room.

"Good to see you awake, doll," he said as nonchalantly as possible, but even in my drugged state I knew that he had been worried about me.

I couldn't move to respond, so I blinked a few times to let him know that I could understand him.

"I knew you'd pull through. These doctors doubted you for awhile, but I knew you'd pull through it, you and the little one." He smiled a little, and a memory hit me. I remember Haymitch's voice. I couldn't see him, but he was in the room, reassuring me that I would be ok. I felt a twinge of emotion.

The doctor began to feel around my windpipe, making me feel just a little suffocated.

"She hasn't suffered any damage to her vocal cords, so she will be able to talk soon. Laying here for three and a half weeks has just put them out of commission for a little while. I'll get some water to help. Be right back."

_Three and a half weeks? How is that possible?_ Haymitch could see the panic in my eyes.

"Yeah, you heard right. It's been awhile. I'll answer any questions you got for me. Just not now. Doctors kept telling me how you would need to rest if you did wake up."

_Rest? Rest? How in the world could I need more rest if I have been out for three and a half weeks? _I wanted to scream out and demand to know where Peeta was, but I knew that I couldn't. I tried to form a word, but I could only produce the rough, scratchy bleating sound as before. Haymitch sat down in the chair next to the bed, no doubt where he had been the whole time. I felt so much safer just knowing that he was here. I had so many unanswered questions, but as long as he was right there I knew that I was at the very least safe.

The doctor returned with the water and I tried to sip it. My lips and tongue felt like they were made of stone though. There was no way to get the small drink down.

"It's ok. This is pretty normal. It will take a little time for you to recover. I'll go ahead and give you a brief overview so far though. You are in the hospital being treated for a head wound and a two broken ribs that you received during the Quell. I'm your doctor, Dr. Sussex, and I have been treating you since you arrived. You were in a coma for, like I said, three and a half weeks. It's truly a miracle that you and the baby are still living. If you're wondering, which I'm sure you are, your baby is doing great. Strong, healthy, and everything is right where it should be at 25 weeks. Your baby's doctor is Dr. Hunt. She has been paged and should be in shortly to do a more extensive exam. For now just rest."

He left the room. I looked at Haymitch and he patted my hand lightly.

"You're going to be fine, stop freaking out."

I blinked a few times and began trying to make my mouth work properly. I needed to talk. I could get my tongue to touch the tip of my front teeth when Dr. Hunt came in. She had long brown hair and looked about as sweet as any human being could look.

"Hello, Katniss. It's so good to see you awake." She patted my arm and began to move my nightgown up, revealing my swollen abdomen. The skin was stretched and my belly button protruded. This whole thing was just ridiculous.

Haymitch left the room before I could say anything. _If only I could talk, leaving me alone with this strange woman._

"I'm just going to check on the little one here. The baby was in distress when you first arrived, so we have been really monitoring the heart ever since. There are no problems so far though. So that's a good sign."

I didn't want to listen. I really only wanted to focus on being able to talk. I needed to find out where Peeta was. Maybe he was in the hospital, too. _Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. _I began working my mouth once more, tuning out everything that Dr. Hunt was saying, until she lightly placed her hand on my cheek.

"I know that you're scared, honey. I'm sure you don't know what's going on, and you're so young, but I promise we have been taking good care of you. I need you to know that. I'm here for you if you want to know what's going on, or even if you want to talk, ok?" She said with a smile. She oozed genuine niceness, something you don't witness to much of in life. This was of course the key reason why I had firmly added her to the "do not trust" list.

She smoothed my hair, patted my hand and left the room. I really began to work my mouth now, trying to make any sound at all. It felt like it took forever, but I could finally make out, "hi."

Haymitch came back into the room and put the water cup to my lips. I was able to ease a few tiny sips down, but it hurt. I began trying to form words.

"P-pe-peet-peet-peet-aaaa," I managed shakily. Everything was so drawn out, I wasn't sure if he could even make it out.

"Katniss, I'm Haymitch."

_Is he serious? I was already getting very frustrated._

"N-ooo…Pee-peet-aaa wh-erre." The last word sounded more like "whir." I really wasn't sure if he got it this time or not.

"He's ok. Just rest for now. Cut the nonsense and actually rest." He stared at me with ferocity. He knew that I would work on regaining my speech. "Seriously, give it at least until you can move your finger."

I turned away from him until he left. I knew that he would be doing the exact same thing if he were in this hospital bed and not me. Forget resting, I have done enough. I have to tackle speech quickly, because then I have to focus on moving my fingers, lifting my arm, and picking up my water cup, and sitting, and then standing, and walking, and eventually shooting my bow and climbing trees like before. This could not keep me down for long. I had to get up and moving, because despite what Haymitch says, Peeta could be anywhere. My first priority is to find Peeta. I made a promise that I would save him, and if I am in this hospital bed and he is dead right now, I will not be able to live with myself. No, I have to get out of this bed. But first, I need to just focus on saying his name.

**So there it is. I would be glad to hear your reactions. I know this has been a long awaited update. I love hearing from you all! Thanks for reading!**


	18. The Truth

**The holidays sort of got in the way, but I have been working diligently, promise. :) I didn't know that I would be taking it in this direction, but it happened and I'm going with it. Tell me what you think so far, and happy reading!**

Chapter 18

"The Truth"

My body feels cold. I'm shaking a little. Everything around me is dark and I feel as if I am being stabbed in my left side every time I breathe. I can only manage tiny, ragged breaths through the pain and panic. _Where am I?_

I can hear voices in the background, but I do not recognize them. "Female, seventeen years old, twenty-two weeks pregnant, head wound, broken ribs, baby is in distress."

I felt my body being moved, and multiple pairs of hands begin examining me and hooking me up to machines. _This isn't a nightmare…this is a memory._

Then everything is black. All I can hear is the ticking of a clock and the occasional wailing of a baby. "Make it stop!" I want to cry out, but I cannot move. The sound has taken over my body, rendering my muscles incompetent. I don't know how to escape this.

"Katniss," A voice says from somewhere seemingly far off. "Katniss, I heard you were awake. Don't tell me that was all rumors."

_Gale? No, surely not. How is this possible?_

I pulled my eyes open, but it was difficult. Everything seemed so fuzzy. I could just barely make out a figure sitting in the arm chair next to my hospital bed.

"There you are, Katnip. How do you feel?"

"O-k," I managed. This was odd. I hadn't spoken to Gale since the incident in Peeta's yard. It had been a few months. _Why is Gale here at all? Am I back home in District 12?_

"It's good to see you," he said with genuine sincerity. He placed his hand on top of mine. "They didn't think that you were going to make it. I told them that you were a fighter, and that you would be damned to die like that."

_What is he talking about?_ I looked at him, confused by everything that he was saying. Every one kept evading the topic of how I ended up here, or where I was. Luckily, my speech had improved and my voice was only a tiny but scratchy. No real damage.

"Where are we, Gale?" I said slowly.

"I don't think I'm supposed to tell you," he said, moving his hand and sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"You, following rules, that's a first," I playfully scoffed, hiding my anger. Gale was the only one that I knew was on my side. I needed him to tell me where Peeta was. I needed answers.

"It's not that, I just don't want to upset you. I know you. I know that you are ready to jump out of this bed, and you can't." Gale looked at the floor. He was holding something back, but whether or it was anger or deep compassion, I couldn't tell.

"I'm fine, Gale. Please tell me where we are and what is happening." I was carefully avoiding the topic of Peeta, at least for the first ten minutes of our awkward reunion.

"You're not fine. Your…baby is not fine. You need to rest for now, regain your strength." He was looking straight at me now. He was pushing back frustration. He wanted to tell me, and I could tell it.

"Please, Gale. I will get out of this bed at this very moment if you do not tell me." I began to raise my voice, which was not my intention, but I could not hold back my frustration anymore. I was sick of everyone deciding what I could and could not hear.

Gale got up from the chair quickly. He began to pace the floor, deep in thought. He was weighing out the possibilities, I could tell. I watched silently, afraid that I would say the wrong thing. He stopped at the foot of my hospital bed. He gripped the footboard firmly and leaned in towards me.

"Has the doctor told you anything?"

I nodded. "Head trauma, two broken ribs, and I was in a coma for three and a half weeks. I know all of that." I recited the list without missing a beat. I had heard the doctors repeat this information numerous times to me. It felt like reciting a poem in school now. I didn't even have to think twice.

Gale looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "They kinda left some things out, Katniss. For good reason, I'm sure, but you're right. You deserve to know."

He walked to the side of the bed and sat next to me.

"You have to promise that you will not say anything, but most importantly, you have to stay in this bed and get well first. I'm serious."

I nodded, half afraid to hear what he was going to say.

"When they brought you in, you did have head trauma, and two broken ribs. They left out that your left lung collapsed. You couldn't breathe, that's why the baby was in distress. They had to put in a chest tube and intubate. Your heart stopped and they had to resuscitate you twice. They thought they were going to have to take the baby. Luckily, you pulled through. You had serious brain swelling, which made you lapse into a coma for so long. Your body had to heal. It was gruesome, Katniss. You literally died, twice."

I fiddled with the blankets for a moment, taking in everything that I had heard. Dead. They definitely left that part out.

"How? How did I get so injured?" I strained to remember anything.

"You fell."

"I fell? That's it. I fell and received all of these injuries?" I knew something was up. Something was missing.

"Yeah." He looked at the door of my room and then down to his hands.

"I know that you are lying to me, Gale. There's no way that my injuries were the result of a fall. My injuries are too extensive. I may be pregnant and bedridden, but I am not stupid."

He leaned in close and lowered his voice to a whisper. "You're not supposed to know anything else."

"This is ridiculous. I'll just get up and find out for myself. Someone will tell me just to get me back into bed." I pulled the sheets back, knowing that my legs would collapse as soon as I hit the ground.

He watched, and didn't try to stop me. I placed my hands around my thigh, trying hard to move my leg. I definitely hadn't expected this.

"I'll have to cause a big enough stir. Eventually someone will tell me," I said defiantly.

I labored with my left leg, not realizing how heavy it would be. It would barely move. Gale began to laugh.

"You know that you are too weak to walk. You're being ridiculous, Katniss."

"Don't tell me that! I deserve to know."

"Just lay back down and I'll tell you. But I'm warning you, if you stroke out, I will tell every one that you are too weak to do anything until the baby is born. You do the math. All of those weeks in bed. You may have to take up knitting."

I scowled at him, making him chuckle even more so than before. He had the upper-hand. I couldn't even move one leg; much less support my body enough to stand.

"Fine," I consented through gritted teeth.

"Alright, you did fall, I didn't lie about that, but you fell out of a tree. You landed on your side, so the baby wasn't as injured as it could've been."

I noticed that he looked away every time he acknowledged the presence of the baby. I was actually surprised he talked about it at all.

"The impact broke two ribs, one pierced your lung and then of course, you hit your head pretty hard. You blacked out in the arena."

"Why was I in the tree?"

"You ask too many questions, you know that?" He kinda laughed, but it was evident that he was hoping that that question would be avoided.

"You climbed into the tree as a look-out, and slipped."

_That's strange._ Something wasn't adding up, but I didn't want to pry too much into one aspect of the story. I had so many other questions. And Gale was my only source of information.

"How did I get out of there? Why didn't I die in the arena?

"That…is complex. I don't even know where to start, Katniss."

I could see that he was becoming increasingly frustrated. Now was not the time to ask about Peeta, but I couldn't wait any longer. I had to know! I fought for just a few more moments; remaining silent in the hope that Gale would find a way to tell me what in the world was happening. When he stood silent, the words just tumbled from my mouth.

"Is Peeta alive, Gale? I need to know." I knew that my eyes were pleading and desperate looking. If he didn't make it out, then my promise was broken. I couldn't possibly live with myself.

Gale's nostrils flared just a little. He studied every inch of my face, knowing how badly I needed to know.

"He made it out." He looked down to the blankets. I knew that he was being vague on purpose. But even with the vague answer, I felt immediate relief rush through my body—like I could breathe again.

"Is he here, Gale? Is he in another room or something?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly. You have to understand the whole story first. I can't tell you where he is until you know everything else."

"Well then tell me! You're the one who said I had a right to know!" I yelled back at him, not caring who heard.

"Look, it's a lot for you to take in! I will not be responsible for…" He let his voice trail off and began to head for the door.

"Responsible for what, Gale? It's my life. One you haven't even been a part of for months. You don't get to make those calls for me!" I fired back. My blood was coursing through my veins. Not very many glimpses of my old self came through in the past few months, but this time I couldn't make it stop.

He placed his hand on the knob, but never let it turn. I knew he was mulling over his options. He wanted to tell me, I could feel it.

"We are in District 13. It exists. We are here, and they need you. We all do." He said his head down and voice low, almost as if defeated.

I sat very still, extremely confused. _13? They need…me?_

"You know that the other districts are rebelling. You knew that before you went into the Games, but what you didn't know is that 13 has been behind a lot of it. They devised, even before the Quell, that you would be the symbol. Our mockingjay. That's how you made it out. They saved you." Gale turned to me, shrugging, as if to say, "there, now you know."

I was still confused. It didn't make sense. "But, I fell from a tree. They planned all of that?"

"No, that just happened. But their hovercraft got you before anything else could happen. They knew you were hurt. We want you to head the revolution." He ran his fingers through his dark hair. "You just weren't supposed to find out like this."

"Why didn't they save Peeta? Why me, and not him!" Anger was beginning to bubble up once more.

"They tried, but everything happened so quickly. The plan was to save you both. It-it just didn't happen like that."

'Well then where is he, Gale? Where is he?" I felt hot tears forming in my eyes, but I fought them back.

"We don't know."

"You're lying to me! Where is Peeta?" I yelled as loudly as I could.

"Katniss, I can't tell you if you don't keep your voice down. You are not supposed to know." He looked at the door in alarm.

"I have to know where he is, Gale!"

"The Capitol got to him first. They figured out what was going on as we pulled you from the arena. They got to Peeta first, and I am so sorry."

I felt like I had been frozen in time. My blood stopped flowing and every bit of air in my body felt like it was being sucked out. I let the tears spill over.

"It's not right! They should have saved him, not me! I won't do it! I will not be the mockingjay for anyone. They killed him!"

Gale rushed to my side, awkwardly trying to comfort and make me quiet down at the same time.

"Katniss, you have to be quieter," he scolded.

I acted as if he was not there. I resented everything in that moment. They didn't save him. They probably didn't even try. I was losing it. Gale gave up, running outside to get a nurse. A middle-aged woman came in, not even phased by my outburst. She pushed a needle into my IV, and I felt the world change almost immediately. It was like everything was liquid and soft.

"She must have remembered something. She just started freaking out." Gale stated matter-of-factly to the nurse. She was again un-phased. I saw her nod and leave the room.

I wanted to say more to Gale. I wasn't done, but the morphling had other ideas. The whole world seemed to melt into darkness, dragging me into a state of unwanted rest. I would have to rage about Peeta some other time.

**Alright, so there's a nice long chapter for you. I hope everyone liked it, even if I did introduce Gale again. I'm interested to see the reactions. I was also kind of worried that you all may find this chapter boring. What do you think? **

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Not in District 12 Anymore

**Ok, so it's nearing the end of the semester, basically that means that I am loaded down with work—papers, projects, reports, quizzes, presentations, readings, finals…it's fun (total sarcasm, just so you know). I'll have more time to update when all of that is behind me, however I didn't want to leave everyone hanging. So here is a little something to curb your addictions. :) Happy reading!**

Chapter 19

"Not in District 12 Anymore"

"Ok, Katniss, it's time to check on the baby. Can you wake up for me?"

I heard the voice of my super cheerful doctor, Dr. Hunt, for the seventh time today and tried to open my eyes. It seemed like that was becoming a laborious task lately with all of the pain meds being filtered through my IV.

"Nice to see you awake, sweetheart. Let's just have a look." She smiled brightly, almost a smile that kind of sucked you in. I felt like it might be a trap. Nice on the outside, but not so nice on the inside. Kind of like a Venus fly trap. _Maybe I shouldn't trust her._

She carefully pulled my blankets down and lifted my hospital gown up, revealing my ever-growing baby bump. I couldn't get used to seeing it. She placed the machine on my stomach and began rubbing it slowly. A blurry image flickered onto the screen next to my bed. _We don't have anything like this in District 12. Maybe Gale isn't lying. I am definitely not at home._

"Have you been experiencing any pains lately?" She said, never removing her eyes from the screen, the smile from her face, or the happy lilt in her voice. It was borderline sickening. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. At least she was nice. My other doctors had been so impersonal. _Maybe she is only taking such good care of me because I am supposed to be their mockingjay._

"Good, very good. We were all so worried about you and the baby. It really is a miracle that you pulled through it. That you both pulled through it, really. Everything looks ok though." She wrapped the machine back up and moved it to the corner of the room. I watched her closely, unsure of how to take her.

"Why are you in here so much?' I asked bluntly, not even bothering to hide the suspicion in my voice.

She turned to me and smiled that same illustrious smile. "I want to be sure that everything is ok. The baby suffered a serious trauma in the fall, so I am just being extra careful. I want to be able to detect any kind of ailment as soon as it happens…should one surface at all of course. Your baby is my patient."

"You do this with all of your patients?" I said looking right into her face, hoping for any detection of a lie. I knew nothing of my current situation. I needed to decipher who I could trust very quickly if I was going to try and establish some sort of rescue mission to save Peeta, or find out where he is. _Yeah…it would probably help to know that first._

"Do what, sweetheart? Check on my patients? Yes."

Nothing outside her normal emotions had so much as crossed her face yet. But I was sure this sweetness was an act. Why was she being so attentive? There must be some kind of undercover thing going on.

"I mean, check on them so frequently. You are in here a lot."

"Well…" She hesitated, immediately alerting me.

"I'll admit I do check on you more than others." She sighed and walked over to my bedside. "The baby could have a lot of things wrong, Katniss. We haven't let you know a lot about it because you have been through a trauma. There's no way your body can heal like it needs to if you are worried and stressed."

"Like it needs to?"

She hesitated again, studying my face, almost as if she were summing up my sanity. She walked to the door and closed it, locking it before she returned to her original spot next to me.

"Katniss, you are a very smart girl and I like you. Not just because of everything that I watched in the arena, but because I see something in you. Something incredibly special, strong, brave, you're a survivor. You aren't afraid, and most of us can't say that."

She looked down for a moment, but then back up at me with a quick smile.

"I went along with the other doctors because I agreed with them; you were not in a state to know everything, not then. But I think that you can handle it now. You need to know."

I looked at her confused. _Damn, why couldn't she have told me all of this after I knew if I could trust her or not? Now I don't know if I should believe her.._

"First, I'm in here all of the time because we all are very worried about the baby's condition. We have ran as many tests as possible from inside the womb, and haven't found anything serious, however we did have a scan early on that showed a little blood on the baby's brain. We kept a close eye on it, and it stopped itself very quickly. No damage looks to have been done. I just want to be sure. But you shouldn't worry at all. Babies are very resilient, even in the womb. And at present, everything is developed except for the lungs. With our technology, you could actually have the baby right now and it has an eighty-five percent survival rate. Good odds for a premature baby."

I hadn't even thought to ask about the baby's condition. _What kind of mother does that make me?_

"Second, I want to help you. I know what you want to do, and I want to help you in whatever way I can. But, you need to understand what is being expected of you right now. A rebellion has started. It started right after the Games. The moment you fell from that tree, it…it just began. It was a race to see who could get you out of the arena first, Capitol or us. Now everyone wants you to be well because they want you to lead us—to become the face of the rebellion. I know that doesn't sound appealing, but I think we can make that work for you. I think that could help you get what you want."

She looked at me expectantly. I knew what she meant. She thought it would help me get Peeta, but it all sounded too perfect. It sounded like she was supposed to be saying these things to me so that I would become the symbol.

I said nothing. I wasn't sure what exactly was supposed to happen next. It was awkward, mainly because I already knew about the rebellion and becoming the Mockingjay. She took my hand and smiled, almost like a motherly smile.

"I know that you don't trust me, and that's ok. But I do care about you, and not because I would like to see the Capitol overthrown, but because I believe that you are different. You really are the girl on fire. You have the spark that most of us lack. I respect that wholeheartedly."

She dropped my hand and looked to the door, almost as if she were afraid someone could hear.

"Look, you can't tell anyone about this. You aren't supposed to know."

I nodded, but still said nothing.

"I am going to help you. First, you obviously need to walk. I plan on helping you with that. And another thing..." She trailed off, as if she were making extra sure that no one could hear. "There's going to be a Capitol announcement tonight, supposedly in response to the rebellion. Do you want to see it?"

A sudden rush swept through my body. _Of course I want to see it!_

"Yes."

She smiled and laughed a little. "Ok, I'll find a way. I'm going to help, I promise. We are not the enemy, Katniss. We need you."

She smoothed my hair and smiled one more time. She made sure everything was back in its previous condition and left the room without another word.

**I never expected to develop Dr. Hunt's character at all, but for some reason I feel like I want to. I can't explain it. What do you think about her character? I would really like to know. She is my first (and possibly only) original character in this fic. I would like some feedback on that one; it's a new venture for me. (random side note- for some reason in my head she kind of looks like a young Dana Delaney, but her personality is just like Arizona Robbins on Grey's Anatomy. Weird, right? (: )**

**Anyways, I hope you like where this is going. It is about to get super juicy in the next few chapters…like right into everything that everyone has waited for. I can't wait either.**

**Lastly (really though, the last point to the longest authors note ever…promise), I would like to thank everyone who has ever added this story to their favorites, added to story alerts, reviewed, and/or stuck with the story. It really means a lot. I know that there have been some rough patches, but a lot of you come back every single update with an amazing review. It just really makes my day. So thank you so so much! You all are amazing! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank for reading!**


	20. Capitol Announcement

**Ok, so the semester is almost over, yay! I'll have time to update more often, yay! But more importantly, I finally got this update posted, yay!**

**Just lots of celebration today. :) I was really glad to hear that most everyone likes Dr. Hunt's character. I have some really exciting stuff coming, but for now, here is the Capitol announcement! Happy reading!**

Chapter 20

"Capitol Announcement"

A strange noise made me open my eyes. It seemed like all that I could do anymore was sleep. I found Dr. Hunt wheeling in a TV on a cart. _The announcement._ She smiled at me, but I was too focused on what could be broadcasted to show any form of friendly reciprocation.

"I got it. It will be on in just a few minutes," Dr. Hunt said with her usual, cheerful tone.

"Do you have any idea what it will be about?" I said with certain urgency that I could not hide.

"Not a clue." She hooked up the television, the anthem immediately filling the room. She turned the volume down a few notches and sat next to me on my bed.

President Snow came onto the screen. I felt like I could still smell the revolting mix of blood and roses, the odd intermingling of scents that seemed to follow him everywhere. My mind immediately went back to the moment in my home in Victor's Village, making my stomach churn at the thought.

"Citizens of Panem, I feel it is my responsibility to inform you all of the evils that have taken hold of our once peaceful country."

Images of buildings burning, glass breaking, and people screaming assaulted the screen. _Typical Capitol propaganda._

"The war that once ravaged our nation has returned at the hands of our brethren. I encourage you all to be weary and crush this rebellion, as the rebels will suffer."

My picture faded onto the screen. The breath left my body. _The Capitol has already made me the mockingjay. I have always been the symbol of rebellion._

Dr. Hunt patted my arm. "You're safe here. No need to worry. He is just trying to scare everyone, dear."

There was complete reassurance in her voice. But, safety is not my concern. I don't want to be a symbol. I never did.

"We will prevail and emerge stronger. You must remain loyal, or we are all doomed. Loyalty is the only way that the Capitol will be able to stand strong once more."

Peeta's image flashed across the screen.

"I urge you to stand for what is right. Stand for what is normal. Stand for what is home."

The camera cut to Peeta sitting on the stage where the interviews for the Games are held. _The stage where we began,_where_we became what we are today._

He sat in the chair next to Caesar Flickerman, looking strong and confident as ever. I felt my heartbeat quicken, all of the oxygen being pulled from my lungs. _He's ok. Thank god, he's ok._I felt the baby kick, making me want to burst into tears. _This cannot be real._ I looked at Dr. Hunt, absolute panic written all over my features.

"He's ok. See, not a scratch." She smiled at me, as if she knew exactly what I was going through, but that would be impossible. _No one could ever know what this is like._

Caesar smiled at the camera, his appearance looking exactly the same, except green seemed to be his signature color of the interview. They interacted as if they were best friends, as if neither was suffering in any way and there was not a rebellion beating down the door of every district.

"So, Peeta you look well." He said, white smile gleaming as always. He leaned in closer to Peeta. "Still smelling of roses I note. An extended stay in the Capitol is wonderful, I'm sure."

Peeta smiled, making me yearn to see that smile in person even more. I needed to see him, to know if he was truly ok. There was always the possibility that he was hurt, and that he was hiding it for the cameras. _I'm sure that they threatened him._Breaking my promise to him has crushed me a little inside.

"I am very well, Caesar. I feel absolutely amazing," Peeta smiled.

"That is so good to hear. It truly is, especially in light of the recent events. I know that my thoughts immediately turned to you when the news was released of the rebellion, with Katniss at the head none the least. My heart and I'm sure everyone else's heart broke for you."

Peeta dropped his gaze to the floor, as if he were composing himself. "Thank you. I-I need that. It was…shocking to say the least. But I'm so glad that the truth is out now."

"I know that this might be a very personal interview for you, but we all have so many questions for you. You and Katniss were the Capitol's favorite couple, possibly Panem's favorite couple. You know her better than anyone I'm sure. What happened? Did you have any idea that she would betray our wonderful nation as she has done?"

Peeta nodded somberly. "I was as shocked as you all were. I had no idea of the rebellion. She did an excellent job of concealing the truth."

Caesar patted Peeta's shoulder. "Peeta, I am so sorry. You even thought that she was carrying your child."

I felt a sudden pain in my chest. _I am carrying his child! This baby is his!_I turned to Dr. Hunt, holding back tears. "This…this is his baby. It really is." I began to shake a little. _He has to know that this baby is his. He has to know that I wasn't lying._

Peeta's head snapped up. "Well, sometimes people just hurt us. Sometimes the people you love become the people who hurt us the most." The bitter tone in his voice caught me off guard. I could feel his hatred for me seeping out of him without abandon.

Caesar shook his head, almost as if he couldn't believe the whole situation. "I am sorry to hear all of this, Peeta. We all love you. Is there anything else that you would like to say?"

"As a matter of fact, there is." The camera zoomed into his face. His jaw was tense and his eyes looked…off. Something was not right. That was not the Peeta I knew, but I couldn't put my finger on what was different. His grief was possibly being channeled, but I don't think that is the whole reason.

"First, I need to address the nation by saying that this business of rebelling is the wrong decision. Our nation functions because of the Capitol and President Snow. My only question to you all is, where will rebellion get us? I only hope that something can be done, or who knows where we will all be. Doesn't war only cause you all the same amount of grief that I am enduring right now or at least something like it. Please, put down your weapons and make peace. We need each other."

He seemed to be getting more and more tense with every word. I noticed that he seemed to be holding back tears. That's how I knew that he meant everything that he was saying. He believed I had intentionally betrayed and lied to him. I let the tears spill over, not caring if Dr. Hunt saw me or not. The fact that Peeta could believe such things about me broke my heart. The fact that he could see any other side of me than what he saw before wracked my emotions to the core.

"And Katniss," The sound of my name falling from his lips made me listen even closer.

"Katniss, if you are watching I need you to know that we are done. We are done. I am hurt, and while we may be over, I still want you to stop this rebellion madness. What do you think that you are doing?" His voice became louder. It was obvious that he could no longer keep his emotions at bay. "How will this help anything or anyone? You tore us apart! We were going to be a family!" He put his head in his hands. "A family."

He broke down and cried. Caesar placed a hand on his back, as a father would console their crying child.

Peeta looked up once more, trying pitifully to get himself together. "Katniss, I loved you. How could you do this? Just stop. Stop with the Rebellion propaganda."

Peeta rocked back and forth one time before rising him from his chair. He exited the stage. Caesar looked stunned momentarily, but gave a solemn look to the camera and merely nodded before the Capitol seal was shown once again.

My whole body felt like ice had been poured all over it. It was unreal. There was no way that he could believe that I had planned this, and that this baby wasn't his. It began to become increasingly harder to breathe. Tears began to flow down my cheeks. Dr. Hunt grabbed the sides of my cheeks, forcing me to look at her.

"Katniss, calm down. It's ok. You have to calm down. Try to take a deep breath."

I couldn't focus, and the more she talked, the more everything sounded as if it were underwater.

"Look, you're having a panic attack. You need to try to breathe."

All I could manage were short, gasping sounds. Then, without any warning a sharp pain ripped through my lower back and abdomen. I doubled over, immediately throwing Dr. Hunt into action. She grabbed my oxygen mask, which had been unused for weeks and placed it over my head. She then wheeled the TV from my room as quietly as she could in her state of panic.

When she returned my breathing was better, but normal. She grabbed the sides of my face once more. "You have to calm down. You are having a panic attack. The pain you just felt is your body trying to throw you into early labor, ok? You cannot have this baby yet. You have to calm down, Katniss."

I closed my eyes, trying to remove the images of Peeta from my mind.

"You are fine, sweetheart. Good, your heart rate is coming down a little. Very good."

I somehow managed to get my breathing back, but then another pain hit me. A sharp gasp escaped past my lips. I turned, frightened to Dr. Hunt.

She pressed a button. I had no idea what it did, but I wouldn't have to wait long to find out. Three nurses entered the room, one wheeling in a very large machine, and the other with a syringe of some sort. Dr. Sussex and another doctor that I did not recognize all rushed in as well.

The nurse inserted the syringe into my arm, injecting some kind of medicine. Everything began to fade to black as another pain ripped through my body.

**So, I hate to leave you with such a cliff-hanger, but I have to work on a speech :(**

**But, I would love to hear what you all think! I was really pleased with how the announcement turned out. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do with it, but I hope you like it.**

**Also, I started another fic. It's called, "When the World Turns Upside Down." I'm pretty excited about it. You all should read it. But don't worry, I am still continuing with this one. It's just getting good. :) Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think so far. :) Not to be "that person" who begs for reviews, but I have been experiencing a touch of writers block recently with this one, and reviews always motivate me. It's nice just to know that someone out there likes what you are doing, and being a community of writers I am sure you all know this.**

**And I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you all once more for your complete support of my story. What started as something just rattling around in my brain is actually taking hold. I never imagined that I would get this far, or have so many devoted readers. Thank you all. :) I promise I will update as soon as I can. Until then, thanks.**


	21. The Perfect Mix

**Ok, so my computer has been on the fritz and I haven't been able to upload the chapters or even log on to Fanfiction! EEP! Luckily it's fixed now and I can stop freaking out. Happy reading!**

Chapter 21

"The Perfect Mix"

"Katniss, wake-up! Wake-up now!" I opened my eyes as quickly as I could. The voice felt like something in a dream.

"Katniss, focus and listen closely." My mouth was horrendously dry, so I nodded in response to the shapeless blob that seemed to be the source of the voice.

"I have to get you out of here. You can't stay here. It's not safe for you or the baby. I'll explain everything once you are safe."

I was still unable to truly make out any of my surroundings, or even whose hands were helping me out of the bed, but I did as I was told. I found myself able to actually move around and walk, but not without the help of…whoever this was.

My vision began to clear after a few steps and I realized that Dr. Hunt was the one helping me. "What's happening?" I groaned.

"Ssshh, it's ok. I promise I'll tell you everything after you're safe again," she said comfortingly.

We walked as fast as I could manage. I knew that we were moving through the hospital, but I couldn't understand why. It looked as if we were exiting the hospital ward. _How is this possible?_Dr. Hunt pressed on, moving through corridors and carefully avoiding other nurses and doctors. I walked unsteadily and had to place most of my weight on Dr. Hunt to be able to walk. After a few minutes my legs began to ache, making it hard to move my legs—walking proved to be an excruciating task.

"I can't keep going. It's really starting to hurt." I tried to lean my weight over onto the wall next to me. She yanked me quite forcefully up and over even closer towards her. She was pretty strong to be so tiny.

"No, Katniss you have to keep going. We don't have much time. You have to trust me. Just lean on me a little more; it's all going to be over soon."

I did as I was told, but couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going on. I was in such a vulnerable position. She could be leading me to anything.

Someone from the adjacent corridor began whistling, unaware of our presence. Dr Hunt looked around quickly and pushed us both in between some kind of cart full of medical supplies and the wall. She looked at me, unable to hide her sense of panic and placed her finger over her lips. I nodded, sensing the urgency about this situation.

Then, a pain started in my lower back and ripped its way around my abdomen. I let out a small gasp and tried to hold back the scream that seemed to be vibrating against the back of my teeth. She quickly clamped her hand over my mouth. "You're still in labor. I'm trying to get you out of here. Squeeze my hand if you need to," she whispered.

I did, clamping my teeth together in an effort to stay as silent as I could. The pain subsided, and she patted my hand, easing out from behind the cart.

"Good, that was good. Now, we have to keep going."

I did my best to keep up. She moved through a few more hallways and then led me to a very large door. She pulled an ID out of her pocket, but the picture was not of her. It looked like it was Dr. Sussex, but I couldn't be sure. The door opened and we slipped into what seemed to be an elevator. Feeling a tad bit safer, I opened my mouth to say something, but she shook her head. She pressed a few buttons, slid the ID that was definitely Dr. Sussex's through the reader and we began to ascend.

The doors opened and I was immediately greeted with a gust of warm air. We were outside. Actually outside. I wanted to be able to revel in this moment, but Dr. Hunt pressed on. I noticed some kind of aircraft in the distance and my heart began to beat faster. _What's going on? Maybe I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Hunt at all._

I walked, noticing that the shuttle had Capitol insignia on the side. I gasped, trying to turn the other way. I was still unable to hold up my weight, and toppled to the ground. Dr. Hunt kneeled down, trying to help me up. I pulled my arms away, keeping them from her grasp.

"I won't get on it. I won't."

Dr. Hunt stopped and placed her hand on my arm gently. "Katniss, you have to trust me. I am here to help you. I will explain everything after you get on. But we have to hurry; they are going to notice that you are gone soon and start looking for you."

I was about to protest even farther, but then I noticed Gale emerging from the open door running towards us.

"I swear you are the most stubborn person on the planet, Katnip. Come on, we have to get you on the plane." He lifted me off of the ground with little effort, Dr. Hunt looking more than relieved. _I guess helping me was hard. She is not very big herself._

"What's going on, Gale?" I said resting my head on his chest. My legs were killing me and I was already exhausted.

"Dr. Hunt will explain everything. I didn't know what was going on either, none of us did."

I looked back and noticed that two men were running out of the door that we had just emerged from. Another pain seared through my body. I pointed so that Dr. Hunt would notice as I coiled myself into Gale. I let out a tiny yelp of pain, unable to hold it back.

Dr. Hunt turned back, realizing the situation. She broke out into a run.

"Run, Gale!"

He made his grip around my body tighter, sprinting for the door. The men were gaining a lot of ground very quickly. We made it onto the silver platform leading to the door.

"Close it!" Gale screamed. We leapt through the opening and watched as the door shut and began to rise into the air. Dr. Hunt snapped into action as if the men had never existed.

"Get her onto this bed. I have to see if it's too late to start administering the medicine to stop the contractions."

Gale placed me onto the bed. Haymitch emerged from a door near the front and gestured for Gale to come quickly. Gale rushed off. Fear began radiating through my body. I had no idea what was going on. I wanted to ask, but I could tell that the first priority was stopping the labor.

Dr. Hunt washed her hands in a sink near the door and placed a pair of latex gloves on her hands. She moved quickly to her bag and began to pull out various pieces of medical equipment. She began to assemble the pieces, forming something that looked like an IV. Her hands moved quickly. It was evident that she had done this hundreds of times.

"This may not work. You are about a quarter of an inch from being too dilated for the medicine to take effect, but we have to try. This is our only option."

She inserted the IV into my arm and pushed the white, gel-like liquid into the clear tube.

"Someone has to tell me what's going on." I said, unable to hold back the tiny quiver in my voice. My body was so amped up from the nerves, I couldn't stop shaking.

Dr. Hunt began to set-up monitors around me, creating a makeshift hospital room inside the plane.

"Well there's a lot of information. You are in early labor. I am trying to stop it. It might not work. If it does not, then we will have to deliver the baby. It will need round the clock care, but the survival rate at your current place in gestation is pretty high."

I watched as she began hooking up various electrodes around my stomach, chest, and one on my forehead. She never once looked up. It was like she could do all of this in her sleep.

"It gets a little more complex from there. You probably remember going into labor after seeing the Capitol announcement. Well, I thought that Dr. Sussex was administering medicine to halt the labor process, but he didn't. He was giving you a serum that speeds it up, making the contractions closer together and making your body dilate twice as fast."

She began to examine me once more, not looking pleased. She walked over to one of the monitors and studied it for a moment. A line seemed to be climbing up the monitor screen.

"Why would he do that?"

"Katniss, this doesn't seem to be working. I am going to try to administer just a little bit more, but that's all that I can do. We might be having a baby today." She moved to her bag and pulled out another syringe. She carefully pushed a little serum into the IV and then placed the syringe back into her bag. I watched as she then began hooking up a large machine that looked like a bubble. She pulled several plastic wrapped instruments from her bag, placing them on a metal table close to my bed. She opened them individually and turned on a strange blue light. She noticed that I was watching closely.

"It will sterilize them. And that is what the baby will be placed in after she's born." She was gesturing towards the bubble. "She will need it to help her lungs develop a little more quickly."

"She?"

Dr. Hunt smiled and nodded. "Did you not know that before now?"

"No."

"I guess I didn't mention it, I'm sorry." She smiled faintly, but then noticed the line on the monitor again. It dropped quickly, and then jumped off the charts.

A wave of pain came over me, jolting me upwards. I let out a scream, knowing that I had never experienced nearly so much pain in my life. A strange wet, slimy solution spread over my thighs. Dr. Hunt noticed, and her face immediately fell.

"It didn't work. It's ok. Stay calm."

"What just happened?" I screamed, my voice sounding choppy from the pain.

"Your water broke. The baby has turned around and is now dropping into the birth canal. I can't stop the labor now. You have to stay calm and do as I tell you."

"You're going to be ok. It's not going to happen immediately. I don't know how much longer you'll be in labor, but you're going to be fine."

"I don't want to have this baby! I never wanted it. You don't understand. You have to make it stop!"

She smiled and patted my arm. "You don't mean that. It will be different once you see her, believe me. This is normal."

"No, I never wanted her! I can't be a mother! No child deserves such a punishment! Peeta is who would make a good parent, and he isn't here." I began to cry. "He deserves to be here!"

"Katniss, you are going to be a great mother. You and Peeta will make great parents. I don't know you that well, but what I saw in the arena, and what I have seen in the short time that I have known you is enough for me to know that you are a fighter. You care for the people you love and would do anything for them. That alone will make you a great parent. I know that Peeta isn't here, and I agree it is not fair. The Capitol robbed you two of this moment, but it's ok. Because you are going to have this healthy baby, you are going to get well, help overthrow the Capitol, and we will get Peeta back. Everything will be fine. You just have to calm down and deliver this baby. We will deal with it one contraction at a time."

I tried to slow my breathing down, but another pain made it impossible. _She's right. And either way I don't have a choice now,_I thought trying to reassure myself.

Gale came back, noticing the pain that I was in. "It didn't work?"

Dr. Hunt shook her head.

"How could it not work? It had to work!"

He moved to my side and grabbed my hand. "It's going to be ok," he whispered into my hair.

"Katniss, you are going to be fully dilated soon. I think that the medication that Dr. Sussex gave you stayed in your system. I tried to flush it out once I discovered what was going on, but I guess it didn't remove it all. You are dilating really fast."

_How can this be happening? Why in the world did Dr. Sussex try to speed up my labor?_

After about ten more minutes of excruciating pain, Dr. Hunt said the most horrible words I have ever heard. "_Its time to push_." Then, forty five minutes of pushing later, and a tiny little person came into the world screaming in protest. Dr. Hunt let me see her for just a moment, but then she began to clean her up and placed her into the bubble. All I could do was stare at her. After all of that pain, I had brought mine and Peeta's child into the world._And what a terrible world it is._

Gale kissed my forehead, and commented on how dark her skin and hair are. He acts as if he has accomplished something. I immediately notice the intense blue color of her eyes. _They look just like Peeta's_. It is immediately evident that she looks exactly like Peeta, but with my coloring. She is the perfect mix between us both, making her the ideal "in your face" to the Capitol.

Dr. Hunt works over her for what seems like an eternity. I felt an overwhelming want to hold her, to study every feature of her tiny body. _She's my own little piece of Peeta_. I am in shock after the whole ordeal. I tried to keep myself at an emotional distance from the tiny being that was forming inside of me, and a part of me wanted to retain that distance. But that was the part that was so afraid that I would lose her. Now that she was outside of my womb, it was becoming more and more obvious that I would not be able to keep her at a distance any longer. I had heard most mothers in District 12 claim that they feel an overwhelming sense of love for their babies, but I wouldn't describe my feelings as such. I knew what I felt was love, but I also felt like she gave me my fight back. I knew I would fight like hell to end the Capitol and crush Snow's reign. I knew at that moment, staring into my daughter's perfect blue eyes that I would be the mockingjay. I would be anything as long as it meant getting Peeta back and ultimately creating a better world for our daughter to grow up in.

Dr. Hunt turned to me beaming. "She is perfect. She's a fighter just like you. She won't have to be in there long at all. I gave her a couple shots to boost her lungs and immune system along with the other routine shots. She's going to be fine. What are you going to name her?"

I stare at the nameless creature before me. All of this doesnt't feel right. How could I name her when she was only half mine? I needed Peeta to help me. We never discussed names.

"I don't know." I said honestly.

She smoothed my hair back in her normal motherly fashion and smiled. "That's ok. You will think of something. We will be in District 13 soon, you should rest now."

"Weren't we already in District 13?"

"Yes and no. It's too much to explain now. Try to sleep."

I wanted to pry and ask questions, but my body was too tired to fight any longer. I watched as my tiny baby yawned and twitched slightly in her sleep._She's real._

I closed my eyes, hoping that Peeta would be rescued soon so he could see what I was seeing now. _He'll live to see her after all. We both did. We beat the odds again._

**So…was it everything you had hoped? Now we must save Peeta so he can meet his darling baby with his eyes! I loved writing this update and I wish that I could have gotten it to everyone sooner! Anyways, let me know any thoughts or criticisms. :) I love them all.**

**And I would like some suggestions on the name of the baby. I may not use them, because I kind of have a name picked out already, but I don't know if I want to use it. But let me know :) Thanks for reading!**


	22. Some Answers, Finally

**Thanks for all of the suggestions for baby names! You are all so awesome, and have been ever since I started writing this! But I did a little research and I found a name that I have grown attached to. :) I may reveal it in this update, but I haven't quite decided yet. I hope you all like it. I will tell you all this, it is not something generic or something that I have ever found in another fic. I know a few of you were worried about that.**

**Also, I know I threw you all for a loop with the whole "kind of in District 13 thing," but it will all be revealed in this update. Happy reading!**

Chapter 22

"Some Answers, Finally"

"Katniss, can you wake up for me?" The sound of Dr. Hunt's voice and her cool touch on my arm pulled me out of my subconscious state with ease. I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the light. I instantly remembered where I was and bolted upright, sleep becoming a thing of the past. My eyes fell on my tiny daughter's body inside of the machine. I trained my eyes on her chest, searching for the tiny rise and fall. As I realized that she had survived the night, I let the air out of my body all at once in relief. _I never thought that I would be like this towards her._

Dr. Hunt laughed at my panic. "Now what did I tell you about your parenting abilities?" She smiled at me, and I studied her for a moment. _Why does she have so much confidence in me. She watched the Games; she knows what I've done._

I smiled back at her, still not really believing her. "I guess." I looked back towards my sleeping child. She was so incredibly tiny. "How is she?"

"She's ok. She's strong, but she was born pretty early. She will probably be in the incubator for about a week, maybe more."

"You said that she wouldn't have to be in there that long?" A sense of panic set in. _What if something happened in the night? What if she isn't doing as well as Dr. Hunt originally thought?_

"She won't have to be in as long as _most_ babies born at her current week. She seems to have been about thirty-three weeks along. A week in the incubator is pretty good for her current state."

I stared at her confused. I don't think that's right."

She laughed. "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't pregnant for thirty-three weeks. There's no way that she is thirty-three weeks along. The calculations are wrong."

"Maybe your original calculations were off. Most women can't pinpoint the exact date that they got pregnant."

I shook my head. "No, believe me. I know _exactly_ when I got pregnant. How long was I in the hospital?"

"About six weeks. Why?" I could tell she thought I was nuts. In her professional opinion, the baby was thirty-three weeks along, but I knew that was not right.

"I was twenty-two weeks pregnant when they rescued me from the arena." I remember that because I had calculated exactly how far along I would be when I died, or thought I was going to die anyways.

"I had forgotten about that. I was just going off my examination of the baby. Oh dear, that adds a whole new element to this. I guess it would make sense though…" She trailed off as she turned away from me.

"What? What do you mean whole new element, Dr. Hunt? Why does it make sense?" No one had explained anything to me since we had gotten on the plane. The labor sort of took precedence.

She walked over to the incubator, checking machines and adjusting cords. I could tell that she was trying to buy herself some time.

"Dr. Hunt, why does it make sense? I deserve to know what happened." I said a little more forcefully than before.

"Katniss, I need to put a disclaimer on the story." My heart sunk. _What is going on?_

"I had no knowledge of what was going on prior to what I'm about to tell you. I was merely trying to help you and the baby. I got you out as soon as I discovered what was really going on."

My whole body stiffened. I immediately became suspicious of her all over again. She took a deep breath, steadying herself against the side of my bed.

"Ok, it's complex. I don't exactly know where to start, or really how to decipher it out myself."

"You should try," I said tersely.

"Well, it makes sense to let you know where we were first. We were in District 13, but in a concealed medical bunker that the Capitol didn't know about, or we thought they didn't know about anyways. We had you there because we felt it would be safer for you, the baby, and everyone in District 13 if you were somewhere that the Capitol had no knowledge of. I mean, Snow would like nothing better than to kill you, believe me. Our plan to keep you safe backfired though."

She stopped, sitting down at the foot of my bed. "Almost all of District 13 knew of the rebellion and the plan to get you out of the arena, but you weren't supposed to be hurt. When you fell, we had to change the plans a little. I was flown in, along with a few other specialists when word got out that you had been severely injured in the arena. I knew all of the personnel on your medical staff, disregarding Dr. Sussex. I had never met him, which I found to be strange, but I thought nothing of it. I simply wanted to help you. I soon found out that Dr. Sussex was allied with Snow."

My muscles cringed. _I should have known something was up._

"Basically, Snow wanted your baby. I don't know their exact plan, but I do know that the injury is not what was keeping you from walking all of those weeks. The day I told you I wanted to help you, was about two days _after_ I discovered that Dr. Sussex was giving you medication that causes temporary paralysis in localized parts of the body. He had altered it to paralyze you from the neck down. With your injuries, you would have normally been up with in five to seven days of waking up from the coma. We all quickly realized that you were going to shorten that time if it killed you. That's when he started administering the medication."

I had a flashback to Dr. Sussex pushing a tube into my IV. I was too groggy to realize what was going on.

"I noticed that you weren't trying to move around anymore. I knew something had to be up. I found out about the drug, and began sneaking in and giving you a drug to counteract it, making you able to move again. I began watching him very closely after that. If I hadn't been so suspicious, I wouldn't have realized his plan. I overhead him talking to one of the nurses, the only nurse he had brought with him, talking about the plan to steal the baby and give her to Snow. That's when I formed a plan of my own. I was going to help you get up and moving, which would only have taken a few days, and then I was going to help you escape. I had the thing whole thing planned out. I had already ordered the aircraft, and informed Gale and Haymitch of what was going on."

Things were beginning to fall into places. All of my previous doubts about Dr. Hunt dissipated. _It makes too much sense to be untrue._

"Luckily, I did have it all planned out. No one expected the pre-term labor, not even Sussex. I thought seeing Peeta might give you some motivation, get you up and around more quickly, I never expected the pre-term labor. I ordered the nurse to push a few cc's of a drug to stop the labor, but what I didn't know is that Dr. Sussex had told my nurse not to worry about it. He knew that this was his window of opportunity. He began pushing the medication to speed up the labor. Like I said, it's a good thing that I was watching him so closely, or I wouldn't have caught it. I called my plan into action a little bit earlier, getting you out of there."

I sat stock-still, staring at Dr. Hunt in disbelief.

It was a lot to take in. I had been too ill to even consider something of that magnitude conspiring around me. I felt a little sick, but I was glad to have gotten some answers, finally. "Why did you save me?" I was truly intrigued. She didn't even know me.

She laughed a little, patting my left shin gently. "I already told you, I respect you immensely. You have a fire in your soul that almost the entire human race lacks. Sure, District 13 rebelled once, but we hunkered down underground like rats after the rebellion. And everyone in the Districts do everything that the Capitol orders. We are in this situation because no has your spark. The world needs a spark like yours to fan the flames of change."

She smiled at me. I could tell that she was telling the truth. She didn't seem like the kind of person to tell lies about such things. It was obvious that she genuinely cared about her job and her patients. I looked over at my baby, knowing that we would not be here without Dr. Hunt.

"Why is she so developed?" I asked, trying to fight the weird sentimental emotions that I was feeling.

"I think that Dr. Sussex was giving you medicine to boost her growth. That would ultimately speed up the process, causing you to deliver early but have a full-term baby. Then he planned to ship her off to Snow."

Anger ran through my body immediately. I wished that I had known about this a few weeks ago. _Sussex would be sorry_. More importantly, I wanted to kill Snow for creating such a plan.

"Could all of the different medications have done something to her? You mentioned quite a few."

"No, she is fine. I checked. I had been monitoring her tox levels from the moment I discovered the drug to keep you paralyzed. That's why I was in your room so much."

I looked at her and smiled faintly. "Thank you."

She patted my shin once more, and smiled. "Don't mention it."

She rose from the bed and moved to the incubator. She checked all of the machines and wires again and then began rolling it closer to my bed. I became more aware of my daughters frailty the closer she became. I could tell that her tiny breaths were slightly ragged. She had a tube in her nose and tiny sensors on several parts of her body.

"I figured that you would like to see her better. You can touch her if you'd like. Just open this right here and reach in."

I stared at this tiny thing that Peeta and I had produced, realizing that I was terrified. I didn't make any move. Honestly, I was afraid that I would break her.

"Don't be afraid." She stuck her hand inside, stroking her tiny fingers. "She won't break. She's delicate, but she won't shatter if you touch her."

I nodded, still unsure. I felt like my touch might corrupt her in some way. My hands had taken the lives of other children just last year. _How can I ever be what she needs?_ I stare at her for a moment. She made tiny sucking motions with her lips, making me smile.

"How does she know how to do that?" I knew that she had never nursed before, she was too tiny.

"Isn't that amazing? Babies come into this world already equipped with an amazing arsenal of survival skills. Some babies even suck their thumbs in the womb."

I never took my eyes off of her. I knew that I could do it. She was already my little warrior. She was perfect. I reach my hand in slowly. I hesitate just for a moment, but then I place my hand upon her tiny fingers just as Dr. Hunt had. I could feel her tiny fingernails, probably no bigger than the head of a pin. She immediately responded, opening her palm and grasping my finger. I gasped, not expecting her to move. She stretched her tiny legs and arms, making a tiny squeak as she did. I laughed, wanting nothing more than Peeta to be able to see her.

"I'll leave you alone with her." She noticed the sense of panic in my eyes and smiled reassuringly. "She's not going anywhere. You're fine just like you are. Just don't touch anything that's hooked up to her and she'll be fine."

I nodded, trying to convince myself that I would not break my daughter. I focused back on her hand. _How is she this strong? _I realized that I could talk to her and wondered if she would mind. I decided against it, not even knowing what to call her. _How horrible to not have a name yet. I want to wait for Peeta though._

I remembered the Capitol announcement, wondering how he would react when he did see her. I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought. Then I knew what I could tell her about. I knew what she needed to hear.

"I'm your mother. My name is Katniss. I'm not going to pretend to know what to do with you, but you should know that I will do anything for you. But you should really know about your…daddy." I stopped. That word sounded so foreign on my tongue. I hadn't used it since I was a tiny girl referring to my own father.

"His name is Peeta, and he loves you very much. He has always known how much he's loved you. You're going to love him. You look like him, you know? You have his eyes."

She released her grip. In a moment of bravery, I moved the top of my finger to her cheek, stroking it softly.

"He isn't here right now, but I know that he wants to be. I'm going to find him. I won't let you grow up without him, because…because I know that I could never do what he will be able to do for you. He is…really an amazing person."

A tear slid down my cheek. I felt her soft head full of black hair. I laughed a little at myself for being so emotional.

"I never knew that I would get so emotional over this," I said more to myself than her.

"I'm sorry that I haven't given you a name. I just want your father to be here to help. I know he needs that."

I ran my finger up and down her arm, marveling at its size. It was only as long as my pointer finger. I had seen normal sized babies before. I knew she was much smaller then they were.

"I will give you a name soon, ok? You just keep fighting. I have a feeling we will both have to do a lot of fighting here soon. I wish I could say that your life will be an easy one, but I want you to know that it probably won't be. I'm sorry for that, too."

I fell silent, knowing that she had drifted off to sleep. I removed my hand from the bubble and turned over on my side to face her. I began to think of my own birth. Obviously I didn't remember it, but I wandered how my mother and father reacted to me as an infant. I let my thoughts wander to all of the memories I had of my father. They had once been a source of sadness, but now, thinking of him was like falling into a warm bed. He was my safety net and always would be. I fell asleep peacefully my thoughts circling around through old memories despite all of the information I had received. My daughter was safe, and that's all that mattered to me. I would worry about our struggles another time.

**Sorry that it ended there. I had planned on a little more Peeta, but once I started writing about Katniss and the baby I just couldn't stop. I tried not to make it sappy or anything. I figured Katniss would talk to her like a little human, not a baby. No baby talk or sugarcoating basically.**

**What did you all think about the Dr. Sussex's plan? Anyone see it coming? :)**

**Anyways, let me know what you think! Compliments and criticisms welcome. Thanks for reading!**


	23. Quick Fix

I have been informed, (thank you again), that the site is not allowing you to review chapter 22. Basically, I actually deleted the chapters that were merely author's notes, making my chapters align but messing with the reviews.

I am not really sure what to do about it. So for now, I think that I am going to leave chapter 22 as it is, add this author's note as chapter 23, and then re-post my chapter 22 content as chapter 24 again. Then I think that everyone will be able to review. (I would just leave it, but the reviews really do keep me motivated. I love reading everyone's feedback.)

I am really, really sorry for the confusion. This is just the only quick fix solution that I can think of at the moment. Let me know if there is any other way that I can fix it. Again, sorry and thanks for reading and sticking with me this far. :)


	24. Some Answers, Finally Again, Sorry

**Thanks for all of the suggestions for baby names! You are all so awesome, and have been ever since I started writing this! But I did a little research and I found a name that I have grown attached to. :) I may reveal it in this update, but I haven't quite decided yet. I hope you all like it. I will tell you all this, it is not something generic or something that I have ever found in another fic. I know a few of you were worried about that.**

**Also, I know I threw you all for a loop with the whole "kind of in District 13 thing," but it will all be revealed in this update. Happy reading!**

Chapter 22

"Some Answers, Finally"

"Katniss, can you wake up for me?" The sound of Dr. Hunt's voice and her cool touch on my arm pulled me out of my subconscious state with ease. I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the light. I instantly remembered where I was and bolted upright, sleep becoming a thing of the past. My eyes fell on my tiny daughter's body inside of the machine. I trained my eyes on her chest, searching for the tiny rise and fall. As I realized that she had survived the night, I let the air out of my body all at once in relief. _I never thought that I would be like this towards her._

Dr. Hunt laughed at my panic. "Now what did I tell you about your parenting abilities?" She smiled at me, and I studied her for a moment. _Why does she have so much confidence in me. She watched the Games; she knows what I've done._

I smiled back at her, still not really believing her. "I guess." I looked back towards my sleeping child. She was so incredibly tiny. "How is she?"

"She's ok. She's strong, but she was born pretty early. She will probably be in the incubator for about a week, maybe more."

"You said that she wouldn't have to be in there that long?" A sense of panic set in. _What if something happened in the night? What if she isn't doing as well as Dr. Hunt originally thought?_

"She won't have to be in as long as _most_ babies born at her current week. She seems to have been about thirty-three weeks along. A week in the incubator is pretty good for her current state."

I stared at her confused. I don't think that's right."

She laughed. "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't pregnant for thirty-three weeks. There's no way that she is thirty-three weeks along. The calculations are wrong."

"Maybe your original calculations were off. Most women can't pinpoint the exact date that they got pregnant."

I shook my head. "No, believe me. I know _exactly_ when I got pregnant. How long was I in the hospital?"

"About six weeks. Why?" I could tell she thought I was nuts. In her professional opinion, the baby was thirty-three weeks along, but I knew that was not right.

"I was twenty-two weeks pregnant when they rescued me from the arena." I remember that because I had calculated exactly how far along I would be when I died, or thought I was going to die anyways.

"I had forgotten about that. I was just going off my examination of the baby. Oh dear, that adds a whole new element to this. I guess it would make sense though…" She trailed off as she turned away from me.

"What? What do you mean whole new element, Dr. Hunt? Why does it make sense?" No one had explained anything to me since we had gotten on the plane. The labor sort of took precedence.

She walked over to the incubator, checking machines and adjusting cords. I could tell that she was trying to buy herself some time.

"Dr. Hunt, why does it make sense? I deserve to know what happened." I said a little more forcefully than before.

"Katniss, I need to put a disclaimer on the story." My heart sunk. _What is going on?_

"I had no knowledge of what was going on prior to what I'm about to tell you. I was merely trying to help you and the baby. I got you out as soon as I discovered what was really going on."

My whole body stiffened. I immediately became suspicious of her all over again. She took a deep breath, steadying herself against the side of my bed.

"Ok, it's complex. I don't exactly know where to start, or really how to decipher it out myself."

"You should try," I said tersely.

"Well, it makes sense to let you know where we were first. We were in District 13, but in a concealed medical bunker that the Capitol didn't know about, or we thought they didn't know about anyways. We had you there because we felt it would be safer for you, the baby, and everyone in District 13 if you were somewhere that the Capitol had no knowledge of. I mean, Snow would like nothing better than to kill you, believe me. Our plan to keep you safe backfired though."

She stopped, sitting down at the foot of my bed. "Almost all of District 13 knew of the rebellion and the plan to get you out of the arena, but you weren't supposed to be hurt. When you fell, we had to change the plans a little. I was flown in, along with a few other specialists when word got out that you had been severely injured in the arena. I knew all of the personnel on your medical staff, disregarding Dr. Sussex. I had never met him, which I found to be strange, but I thought nothing of it. I simply wanted to help you. I soon found out that Dr. Sussex was allied with Snow."

My muscles cringed. _I should have known something was up._

"Basically, Snow wanted your baby. I don't know their exact plan, but I do know that the injury is not what was keeping you from walking all of those weeks. The day I told you I wanted to help you, was about two days _after_ I discovered that Dr. Sussex was giving you medication that causes temporary paralysis in localized parts of the body. He had altered it to paralyze you from the neck down. With your injuries, you would have normally been up with in five to seven days of waking up from the coma. We all quickly realized that you were going to shorten that time if it killed you. That's when he started administering the medication."

I had a flashback to Dr. Sussex pushing a tube into my IV. I was too groggy to realize what was going on.

"I noticed that you weren't trying to move around anymore. I knew something had to be up. I found out about the drug, and began sneaking in and giving you a drug to counteract it, making you able to move again. I began watching him very closely after that. If I hadn't been so suspicious, I wouldn't have realized his plan. I overhead him talking to one of the nurses, the only nurse he had brought with him, talking about the plan to steal the baby and give her to Snow. That's when I formed a plan of my own. I was going to help you get up and moving, which would only have taken a few days, and then I was going to help you escape. I had the thing whole thing planned out. I had already ordered the aircraft, and informed Gale and Haymitch of what was going on."

Things were beginning to fall into places. All of my previous doubts about Dr. Hunt dissipated. _It makes too much sense to be untrue._

"Luckily, I did have it all planned out. No one expected the pre-term labor, not even Sussex. I thought seeing Peeta might give you some motivation, get you up and around more quickly, I never expected the pre-term labor. I ordered the nurse to push a few cc's of a drug to stop the labor, but what I didn't know is that Dr. Sussex had told my nurse not to worry about it. He knew that this was his window of opportunity. He began pushing the medication to speed up the labor. Like I said, it's a good thing that I was watching him so closely, or I wouldn't have caught it. I called my plan into action a little bit earlier, getting you out of there."

I sat stock-still, staring at Dr. Hunt in disbelief.

It was a lot to take in. I had been too ill to even consider something of that magnitude conspiring around me. I felt a little sick, but I was glad to have gotten some answers, finally. "Why did you save me?" I was truly intrigued. She didn't even know me.

She laughed a little, patting my left shin gently. "I already told you, I respect you immensely. You have a fire in your soul that almost the entire human race lacks. Sure, District 13 rebelled once, but we hunkered down underground like rats after the rebellion. And everyone in the Districts do everything that the Capitol orders. We are in this situation because no has your spark. The world needs a spark like yours to fan the flames of change."

She smiled at me. I could tell that she was telling the truth. She didn't seem like the kind of person to tell lies about such things. It was obvious that she genuinely cared about her job and her patients. I looked over at my baby, knowing that we would not be here without Dr. Hunt.

"Why is she so developed?" I asked, trying to fight the weird sentimental emotions that I was feeling.

"I think that Dr. Sussex was giving you medicine to boost her growth. That would ultimately speed up the process, causing you to deliver early but have a full-term baby. Then he planned to ship her off to Snow."

Anger ran through my body immediately. I wished that I had known about this a few weeks ago. _Sussex would be sorry_. More importantly, I wanted to kill Snow for creating such a plan.

"Could all of the different medications have done something to her? You mentioned quite a few."

"No, she is fine. I checked. I had been monitoring her tox levels from the moment I discovered the drug to keep you paralyzed. That's why I was in your room so much."

I looked at her and smiled faintly. "Thank you."

She patted my shin once more, and smiled. "Don't mention it."

She rose from the bed and moved to the incubator. She checked all of the machines and wires again and then began rolling it closer to my bed. I became more aware of my daughters frailty the closer she became. I could tell that her tiny breaths were slightly ragged. She had a tube in her nose and tiny sensors on several parts of her body.

"I figured that you would like to see her better. You can touch her if you'd like. Just open this right here and reach in."

I stared at this tiny thing that Peeta and I had produced, realizing that I was terrified. I didn't make any move. Honestly, I was afraid that I would break her.

"Don't be afraid." She stuck her hand inside, stroking her tiny fingers. "She won't break. She's delicate, but she won't shatter if you touch her."

I nodded, still unsure. I felt like my touch might corrupt her in some way. My hands had taken the lives of other children just last year. _How can I ever be what she needs?_ I stare at her for a moment. She made tiny sucking motions with her lips, making me smile.

"How does she know how to do that?" I knew that she had never nursed before, she was too tiny.

"Isn't that amazing? Babies come into this world already equipped with an amazing arsenal of survival skills. Some babies even suck their thumbs in the womb."

I never took my eyes off of her. I knew that I could do it. She was already my little warrior. She was perfect. I reach my hand in slowly. I hesitate just for a moment, but then I place my hand upon her tiny fingers just as Dr. Hunt had. I could feel her tiny fingernails, probably no bigger than the head of a pin. She immediately responded, opening her palm and grasping my finger. I gasped, not expecting her to move. She stretched her tiny legs and arms, making a tiny squeak as she did. I laughed, wanting nothing more than Peeta to be able to see her.

"I'll leave you alone with her." She noticed the sense of panic in my eyes and smiled reassuringly. "She's not going anywhere. You're fine just like you are. Just don't touch anything that's hooked up to her and she'll be fine."

I nodded, trying to convince myself that I would not break my daughter. I focused back on her hand. _How is she this strong? _I realized that I could talk to her and wondered if she would mind. I decided against it, not even knowing what to call her. _How horrible to not have a name yet. I want to wait for Peeta though._

I remembered the Capitol announcement, wondering how he would react when he did see her. I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought. Then I knew what I could tell her about. I knew what she needed to hear.

"I'm your mother. My name is Katniss. I'm not going to pretend to know what to do with you, but you should know that I will do anything for you. But you should really know about your…daddy." I stopped. That word sounded so foreign on my tongue. I hadn't used it since I was a tiny girl referring to my own father.

"His name is Peeta, and he loves you very much. He has always known how much he's loved you. You're going to love him. You look like him, you know? You have his eyes."

She released her grip. In a moment of bravery, I moved the top of my finger to her cheek, stroking it softly.

"He isn't here right now, but I know that he wants to be. I'm going to find him. I won't let you grow up without him, because…because I know that I could never do what he will be able to do for you. He is…really an amazing person."

A tear slid down my cheek. I felt her soft head full of black hair. I laughed a little at myself for being so emotional.

"I never knew that I would get so emotional over this," I said more to myself than her.

"I'm sorry that I haven't given you a name. I just want your father to be here to help. I know he needs that."

I ran my finger up and down her arm, marveling at its size. It was only as long as my pointer finger. I had seen normal sized babies before. I knew she was much smaller then they were.

"I will give you a name soon, ok? You just keep fighting. I have a feeling we will both have to do a lot of fighting here soon. I wish I could say that your life will be an easy one, but I want you to know that it probably won't be. I'm sorry for that, too."

I fell silent, knowing that she had drifted off to sleep. I removed my hand from the bubble and turned over on my side to face her. I began to think of my own birth. Obviously I didn't remember it, but I wandered how my mother and father reacted to me as an infant. I let my thoughts wander to all of the memories I had of my father. They had once been a source of sadness, but now, thinking of him was like falling into a warm bed. He was my safety net and always would be. I fell asleep peacefully my thoughts circling around through old memories despite all of the information I had received. My daughter was safe, and that's all that mattered to me. I would worry about our struggles another time.

**Sorry that it ended there. I had planned on a little more Peeta, but once I started writing about Katniss and the baby I just couldn't stop. I tried not to make it sappy or anything. I figured Katniss would talk to her like a little human, not a baby. No baby talk or sugarcoating basically.**

**What did you all think about the Dr. Sussex's plan? Anyone see it coming? :)**

**Anyways, let me know what you think! Compliments and criticisms welcome. Thanks for reading!**


	25. Hunting

**I will start by saying that you are all so awesome and amazing! I was so excited to read all of the positive reviews about the last chapter. It's all been building up to this. :) I don't know how many more chapters will be left—we will all just wait and see.**

**And I've decided what to do about the baby name. It will not be directly revealed in this chapter, but bear with me. So on to the next chapter we go! Happy reading!**

Chapter 23

"Hunting"

I dreamt of the leaves crunching beneath my feet, the wind whipping my braids haphazardly around my neck and face, and my father's voice carrying me through the semi-darkness of the forest that engulfed us. I was small, about seven or eight at the time, and I could think of no better place to be. We moved as silently as possible. I knew not to talk or make any noise—he was stalking something. I had learned from a very small age how to move around the woods in near silence. He knew better than to worry about me scaring away the game. I was his partner, his hunting buddy, and despite my age and small stature, he knew that he could count on me.

He reached his hand back to signal that something was close. He gently waved his palm to the ground and we sank into a crouching position. I knew that he was going to wait until the sun came up a little more to ensure a better shot. One of his famous phrases came to mind, "The only thing worse than missing your target is wounding your target." My father hunted to kill and only killed to feed his family. I was always taught to shoot with absolute precision, and only shoot if you are perfectly confident that your arrow will land right in the kill zone. "The animal will suffer if you do not kill it right then. We don't want to hurt it anymore than we have to." His lesson would be one that stuck with me every single day, and unfortunately not always with animals.

I scooted to the left of his body making sure not to snap any twigs in the process. About forty yards away stood a big-bodied doe, probably about six or seven years of age, in a clearing just ahead. Even at eight I knew that finding a doe of her size was a rarity. She must have known all the best hiding spots and food sources to make it this long out here. I looked at my father. He was focused on every movement of the animal. The moment the sun came up enough for him to see the doe clearly; he placed one knee on the ground to steady himself and drew back his bow as slowly as he could. Any sudden movements and the doe would see us for sure. I licked my lips in anticipation. He waited until she took one step, clearing her right shoulder just enough for him to release the arrow. He let go, piercing her heart and instantly taking her to the ground. We waited in our spots for a few more moments out of respect. My father never wanted the deer to see him and be any more scared than they already were in their last final moments. I would find that not to be the case with every other hunter I encountered in later years. We hunted to live, no matter how much pleasure the woods gave us.

We moved to the deer and he began to field dress her. I looked into her eyes and felt a bit of sadness. I knew nothing about the life of a deer, but I knew that she probably had a good one. She was fat, fatter than any deer I had ever seen. I placed my hand on her neck and stroked it for a moment. I felt so grateful to this deer, and desperately wanted to believe that she could know that. At eight, I believed that the souls of animals were lifted into the sky just like the bodies of the tributes were lifted in the sky in the arena as I had seen on TV. I hoped that she was watching as she lifted and could see that we were grateful for her.

My father was in a wonderful mood after that. We knew that we would be able to eat on the deer for probably a month or so and still be able to give some to the neighbors and sell a little in town. It was a wonderful day. I had never forgotten that morning, but what I didn't realize is that I had forgotten the afternoon.

After we sold the deer in town, my father and I went back out into the woods. We didn't have to worry about being quiet or even looking for prey, it was just our day. We walked through the trees and he began showing me various types of plants and trees that I had not known before. I listened with intensity. I held on to every word that man said. "That's katniss, the plant you were named for, but I think you already knew that." I nodded, I had known, but I still loved to hear him talk about it. I especially loved when he would tell me how fitting the arrowhead shape to its leaves were so fitting and that he couldn't imagine a batter name for me. "You can eat the roots. As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve," he said with a chuckle.

He pointed to a three-leafed, green plant growing in a clump at the base of two small trees. I knew what it was before he even said it. He pointed it out every single time we went on a trip into the woods. "Poison ivy; definitely don't want to get into any of that. You'll be running home begging your mama for something to stop the itching then. It's the oil in the plant that does it. It gets in skin and then you have an allergic reaction. Your mama has a cream to help with the itching, but it doesn't clear it up right away." I smiled, remembering when he had gotten it and couldn't stop clawing at his forearm. He showed me how to peel off the bark of a specific type of willow tree to get to the edible inside. He pointed out several plants with beautifully colored berries on them, but cautioned against their physical appearance, as they were extremely poisonous. He made sure to point out the leaves and berries that I could eat, and he even showed me a few plants with medicinal properties. I was sure that my mother had showed him those.

We moved on, my father imparting his impressive breadth of botanical knowledge onto myself. We walked along, farther than we had ever ventured into the forest before. I wasn't sure if he noticed how deep in the woods we were. I thought we might be lost, but that wasn't the case. He was looking for something specific. He made his way over to a large tree trunk and pointed to a white flower with a pink tint that grew against the trunk. He smiled and turned to me. "See this?" I nodded. "It's really pretty," I said.

"This is mountain laurel. It's really something." He stared at it with the same intensity that I did. I began to reach my hand out for it, hoping to take a blossom home. "Don't touch it. It's poisonous. That's why I love it so much. It's so small, beautiful, and delicate on the outside, but it can really hold its own out in this big world. It's smart enough to grow against this large, strong tree which protects it from a lot of nature's dangers, and it creates its own natural defense system. Animals and other predators have learned to steer clear because of its toxicity. It kinda reminds me of you, Kat." He patted my shoulder. "But _you _embody katniss through and through. I wouldn't want you any other way." He pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. "C'mon kid, let's get on home. I'm getting hungry myself." And we walked out of the forest as if it were any other day.

It was without a doubt the best dream I had ever had in my life. I woke up from it so overcome with emotion that I had to hold back tears. _I haven't been happy in a while, and sure things aren't perfect, but as soon as Peeta is ok everything will be fine._ I looked over at our sleeping daughter and smiled. _I can't wait to show Mom and Prim the baby. They will just die when they see her._

"You're perfect," I whispered to her. "I wish your grandpa could meet you. I know that he would love to see you, too." I reached my hand inside of the incubator to rub her arm gently. Her tiny lips curved upward, almost as if she were smiling. I melted, seeing a little of my father in that smile. And then I knew why I had that dream, why I remembered that day.

The aircraft lurched and Dr. Hunt came though a door from the front of the plane. "Alright, we have arrived," she smiled.

**How did you like it? I _loved_ writing Katniss and her father's relationship _so_ much. I know that this was short, but I am already working on the next update. It won't be long at all before it's done. I just felt like this little dream with her father was fitting, and it has meaning…just wait. :) So what did you all think? Compliments and criticisms always welcome. Thanks for reading!**


	26. Everything's Going to Be OK

**I can only apologize for taking so long, writer's block to the extreme. I hope you all can forgive me and enjoy the next update.**

Chapter 24

"Everything's Going to Be OK"

I released the breath that had been stuck in my chest cavity for what felt like hours. _We're here._ I was nervous, to say the least. What would 13 expect of me? What would happen to me and the baby here? So many questions ran through my mind.

Dr. Hunt placed her hand on my shoulder lightly. "It's going to be ok. I'll make sure of that." I looked up at her, studying every inch of her face. She seemed so sincere. _But how could she really keep us safe? The world has been turned upside down and she is making promises like this?_

I tried to push my thoughts from my mind and focus on getting settled. Prim and my mother were inside somewhere. The thought of their faces as they fell upon my sleeping child made up for the uncertainty of it all. I looked at her tiny body, resting peacefully in her incubator and smiled. "I never knew it would be like this," I said breathlessly.

Dr. Hunt nodded. "I know." She began to move my wheelchair down the ramp carefully. I noticed that it was dark. We moved down through a hallway and into a hospital wing identical to the one I had been kept in before. My pulse quickened. _Is this some kind of joke?_ My eyes immediately darted back to my daughter and then began scanning the area for Sussex. "It's ok, Katniss. We're really in District 13 now, I promise. I'm taking you to where I have been told your mother and sister is at the moment."

I relaxed a little, but found it impossible to drop my guard completely. We turned down a hallway that was blocked by large metal doors. Dr. Hunt entered a code and scanned her badge, opening the doors to reveal Prim. My heart lurched. She saw me, dropping the armload of bandages in her arms and came running towards me.

"Katniss!" She wrapped her arms around me tightly. Hot tears began to stream down her cheeks. "I can't believe you're actually here! They wouldn't tell us where you were!"

I clung to her tightly, burying my nose into her hair. I felt ridiculous in doing so, but I needed to be reassured that she was real and physically in front of me. I needed to know that this was not a dream. Seeing Prim whole was like finding a piece of my scattered puzzle. Prim stood up, the incubator catching her eye. I watched as she scrunched her forehead in confusion. She took one step and noticed what was inside. Her whole body seemed to melt into the floor. I could tell she was already in love.

"Oh, Katniss…" she said airily. "This can't…she's here." She stared at me, tears pooling in her eyes once more. I nodded my head, not knowing what else to say.

"She's incredible. We didn't know if either of you made it. No one would tell us." Sobs began to overtake her body. Her shoulders shook. She was too overcome with emotion to speak. I glanced at Dr. Hunt and she knowingly smiled at me. She looked around, finding an empty room and wheeled me and the baby inside. She closed the door silently, leaving us to be alone. I knew that she was going to get my mother.

I pulled Prim in close, holding her as if she were four again crying from a nightmare. And in a strange way, it felt like she was. "I missed you so much, Prim. So much." I began to cry. This moment was not supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to come back, but here I was, holding my sister, staring at my child. My sleeping child who had no idea what was going on around her.

"I didn't think you'd come back. I never thought I would see you again. But you're here, and she's here. I-I just never thought it would happen." Her voice began to catch in her throat and I smoothed her hair, shushing her quietly.

"I know, I know. I'm here now." I lifted her face so that she could look at me. "You'll always be my little duck. We're gonna be ok, now." I kissed her forehead and she finally smiled. She nodded her head, trying to stop crying. I watched as she moved in front of my sleeping daughter, staring, committing every feature to memory as if she would slip away at any second.

"What's her name?" she said as she placed her hand against the machine.

"I don't have one yet; I want to wait for…" Prim turned, noticing the obvious drop in my voice. "Peeta. I want to wait for Peeta." She smiled knowingly, and I fought back the emotion building inside of my body. I could feel the hurt building in my veins.

"They're gonna find him, you know. They are planning something right now."

My eyes darted up quickly. I wanted to pry, but my mother walked in, not giving me a chance. She began to cry as soon as she saw me. She dropped to her knees, pulling me into the tightest hug I had ever received in my life.

"I can't believe it's really you," she whispered. I nodded, knowing how difficult the last few weeks must have been on my family.

Everyone remained silent. No words were necessary at the moment. We were seeing each other again and that's all that mattered. She slowly peeled herself from my body, moving to stand next to Prim. Her hand fluttered over her heart.

"She-she looks just like you did." More fresh tears spilled from her eyes. "I can't believe you both are here." I nodded and she moved to me once more, wrapping me in her embrace. Prim moved to hug me, pulling the three of us close together.

"My girls…my three beautiful girls," my mother whispered, kissing my head. "You are safe now. Everything is going to be ok."

My mind drifted to Peeta and I wondered if that were true. Would everything really be ok?

**So there it is! I hope you like it. I know it's kind of short, but it's really all I could pull out for now. I'm not even really sure how I managed to write it. I just lost my inspiration for awhile. I couldn't get over the feeling that I was letting you all down, and I was. I am so sorry for that. I really am. I hope you will all forgive me. This update was completely for you.**


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